CM concerns

[wincarwoo]

So, my ten year old reports that our childminder shouts at her. So I spoke to the CM and explained that this was not acceptable. I got an apology.

I have been asking for daily reports and itoday was told that a young one was shouted at for wetting his pants.

Along the lines of "why did you do that? The toilets only just there. I'll have to put you back in nappies!"

What would you do? Firstly I want to remove my girls but also need to protect the others.

Take your girls out if you want to. I’m not sure what you think you are protecting the others from? Children often perceive raised voice as shouting and you don’t know what relationship the other parents have with the CM.

Their relationship is neither here nor there.
I don't think her behaviour is right for any children.

I guess you could report her to Ofsted if you feel that strongly about it.

I’m a childminder and have occasionally raised my voice a little in a stern way, not shouted but definitely a change in tone. Usually to get a child’s attention when they are doing something unsafe. I’m sure to some children it may be perceived as shouting but it’s completely different.

in regards to a child who wets them self it really depends on age and stage of toilet training. I would never be stern but I may ask why they didn’t go to the toilet rather than wetting themselves.

if you don’t trust the childminder then remove your girls. It’s as simple as that. If you’re asking for daily reports then the trust has broken down and it’s time to move on.

This isn't really being stern. It's shaming. She also responds sarcastically to the children.

I'll consider my options

Have you yourself seen this though or are you just going by what your 10 year old daughter tells you?

If a child tell the childminder that someone has wet themselves and the childminder snaps back that "I only have one pair of hands" then that's not the kind of response I expect an adult to give a child.

at the end of the day, if you’re not happy then remove your girls. Context is everything here. Perhaps the childminder said ‘I’ll sort them out when I’ve finished here as I only have one set of hands’. You just don’t fully know which is fine, if you don’t trust the childminder then find alternative care. Asking for daily reports on what happens puts your daughter in an uncomfortable position. Also, if your daughter feels you need to know the ins and outs of every slightest issue each day then she may be missing the bigger picture.

I think your right OP, chastising kids for toilet problems is a big no no, for parents never mind child minders. You can remove your kids and report them to ofsted, they all have to be ofsted registered. I would think with a concern such as this, they would take action pretty much straight away. I mean I know they are not harming them physically and I know it can be hard toilet training but it comes with the job, if they can't handle it they shouldn't be doing the job.

So a small drip feed (apologies). I had to speak to the childminder last week about the way she uses my daughter to do things that the younger ones don't do even though they are capable which causes resentment.

Also the persistent reports of impatience and snappiness.

So the reason I've asked for frequent check ins is to see if this has improved.

Unfortunately this latest report indicates the message hasn't got through and I was pretty shocked tbh

As well as considering the best options for my children (eldest will be leaving the end of this year anyway) I want to make sure others are treated with respect. If the situation was reversed I'd want to know about it.

The thing is your extremely limited in what you can do. You can remove your children and report it to ofsted but that is it.

If you start telling the other parents this stuff she could probably sue you for liable if I'm honest and she would probably win aswell. She could get loss of earnings and reputation hurt feelings etc. You only have your child's word for what's gone on, I believe them but I'm not sure it would be considered credible evidence when it comes to civil law.

I don't want to frighten you I'm just saying it could potentially happen. You can report to ofsted and they won't reveal your name and they will act on your information if they feel they need too.

Any chance your 10yr is fed up of being at the cm and prob the eldest one there ?

Yes a cm shouldn't be strict if a
Child has wet theirselves but agree in contact that if she has said go to the toilet several times and child hasn't - I can't understand why a cm May hey slightly annoyed

It's all About context

I'm surprised at the responses that excuse an adult talking to a child in that way.

Having known the CM for a long time and having had previous concerns I'm not in any doubt as to the "context"

If you have had previous concerns then why is your daughter still there and you didn't remove /give notice ?

I wouldn't be happy as a parent, this is her job and presumably after years of experience she cannot stay patient when a child has wet themselves (embarrassment that can stay with the child forever). Shes meant to be used to these situations and know how to encourage children. Why berate them after the accident has happened? I would tell the other parents if possible and report to ofsted.

I'm interested to know how things went OP? TBH I don't think you can trust a childminder 100% with your kids, particularly when they are babies or toddlers who cant communicate. You dont know what's going on when you're not thuere. At least at a childcare facility, there are a lot of different staff members who obviously won't behave badly in front of their colleagues. I think it's a better environment.

And yet your daughter is still there....

Also think it's awful that some posters dismissed your daughter's worries. She obviously isn't/wasn't happy there and no wonder being spoken to like that and seeing the CM being short and uncaring uncaring with the younger ones.

I've worked in a nursery and, believe me, some of the things that happened there were not good!
There's good and bad in every profession.

What do you mean obviously won't behave badly in front of others have you read about the baby tied to a bean bag who suffocated the other staff watched abuse for weeks.
A few sessions in a nursery not as a paying parent or Ofsted is the only way to see what it's really like and having done that many times numbers of adults are not a guarantee

"At least at a childcare facility, there are a lot of different staff members who obviously won't behave badly in front of their colleagues. I think it's a better environment."

Oh, obviously!!!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-69026072