Nanny paid leave for funeral

[Lunarskybox]

How much paid time off would be appropriate for our nanny to attend a relative's funeral (an uncle, not parent or sibling). She has asked for two days paid leave. She works 4 days a week.

If she's otherwise reliable and reasonable, I'd just give what she's asked.

Her role at the funeral will also be of huge comfort to her parent who lost their sibling

agree with those who say 2 paid days, it’s important to treat people as you’d want to be treated yourself and giving that leave paid will be felt as a massive support to her.

Two. it's a funeral. She looks after your children, so is part of your family, not someone lost in a big office block.

Give her two days paid.

She looks after your children.

Forcing her to either take a day's leave or not go isn't worth it for the money you will save.

Can I also say, that regardless of official 'corporate' policy, grief can't be measured according to relationship.

Some people are incredibly close to their uncles and aunts, some aren't.

I wouldn't be that upset if my uncle died, I barely see him, but would be devastated if a friend died, that technically wouldn't qualify for any time off at all.

The fact that we have terrible attitude to grief doesn't make it ok.

This. If she has to travel far then 2 days is not OTT.

Give her the two days. If you like her, she's reliable, and she does a good job looking after your children, show her that you care about her too.

It's totally different to office or NHS policy imo

I left a job over how they treated me after a death in the family, It left them properly in the lurch. (I worked my notice, but they were a struggling startup and couldn't find anyone else who'd do the job for what they were paying me)

If she's a good nanny, pay her bother days. Stuff like this is what builds loyalty.

Agree with pps - she’s not comparable to an employee in a big company.

We have a nanny who we care about and I’d give her the 2 days paid for this without a second thought.

No, no compassionate leave. I left work at 3pm the day she died and was expected back in the next day and then a day off for funeral. I could have taken unpaid leave. It was a horrible place and was really the straw that broke the camel's back made me determined to leave

For an uncle I think it's generous to be offering anything other than waiving normal rules for annual leave and allowing the employee to use their A/L without reference to how inconvenient it is.

But if you are offering additional compassionate paid leave one day is more than enough. If she wants 2 she can have the 2nd unpaid or subtracted from A/L.

Two days is the decent thing to do.

That's where I'm landing. Unfortunately I have had to pay for two days childcare for the days she isn't working, and while I can just make it work, it's not immaterial for me to pay twice.

Yes OP I do get it - but you’d have to pay for childcare if she took the 2 days as sick leave and if she’s otherwise reliable then I would think of it as an investment in your relationship with her - it will pay off.

This, definitely

You are right, yes. And this is what I'm going to do. I found all responses very helpful! Thank you...

I got one day for my uncle’s funeral but it came out of my holiday

I got 2 weeks when my dad died plus 1 day for funeral and was not out of al

I would not quibble over this. The loss of goodwill will be huge compared to a day’s pay.

Thankfully most employers are not as stingy as you. It's also not fair to say the relative was only an uncle. OP might have been very close to her uncle. Its not a one size fits all scenario.

@Justcallmebebes

That’s not true - maybe in your organisation but in mine it’s case by case. I had 3 days for my auntie (the day she died when I went to the hospital to say goodbyes and she had two funerals - one for immediate family as it was unexpected and a shock for her young children and one a few weeks later with all friends invited etc). I was very close to that auntie. My other aunties, one day would be totally fine. It’s not black and white.

Good childcare I’d like gold dust so if she’s good then I’d pay both days in the hope she’d repay the loyalty.

I hope you are never in a situation where you are relying on someone else's compassion.

Ex-Nanny here.

If you really like your Nanny, want her to feel appreciated and would like her to stay with you long-term, then little acts of kindness towards her really go a long way in making a nanny feel valued and appreciated in her job and therefore stay with you for many years.

If a Nanny family did something kind like that, then I would absolutely return the favours to them by running errands and doing extra jobs that weren’t in my job description. I would go out of my way to be flexible for them and go above and beyond in my job, because I felt valued and appreciated.

I also worked for families who looked down on me as “the hired help” and who expected me to bend over backwards for them, but never returned the favour. In those jobs I still looked after the children with 100% love and care, but I did not go out of my way to be flexible or helpful towards the parents if they needed a favour. And I generally didn’t stay long in a job like that.

If you can’t afford to pay her for 2 full days, then could you offer her one day paid leave for the funeral day and then the second day you could bank as babysitting hours to be used in the future?

Thank you very much. Very helpful!

If sick she wouldn't have to pay nanny unless sick days in contact

So it's going to cost op 4 days money