Holiday childcare for early secondary child

[Tiddlywinkly]

Genuinely not sure how this works. Please help wise mumsnetters!

Eldest (DD) goes to secondary school September 2025. She'll turn 12 that month. She'll also have a younger sibling who'll be 10 that year.

Holiday clubs seem to stop at 11. My DH and I have flexibility and can WFH some alternate days, but not all.

What do we do with DD? We can't leave her by herself. What age can you leave them? To make it even more complicated, my younger child currently loves holiday clubs with his sister, but would not be happy to go by himself.

I suppose I could hire some sort of babysitter? Any advice welcome. What did you do? Thank you.

Why can’t you leave her by herself? There’s a reason most holiday clubs aren’t run for high school kids. If it’s not every day, it’s a great opportunity to develop some independence.

My two are 12 and 10 and I need to use up some childcare vouchers. Barracudas runs activities for 10-14 year olds and the activities look good. Is there a similar scheme near you?
I wouldn't leave a 12 year old home alone all day, for boredom reasons as much as safety.

I left both my older children on their own from age 12, and will be doing the same with my youngest who goes into Y7 in September. I usually take October half term off and we cover Christmas between us, but come Feb half term she'll be with her siblings. Assuming no ND or other vulnerabilities, a 12yo should be fine. We do tend to stagger our work days, so I do 7-3 and husband does 9-6 so it's not a long day, but that's all

My 11 year old spent all day yesterday building a den in the park. Best ever holiday day he thought. You can leave them, most people do.

It's hard at that age - they are neither one thing or the other!

What worked for us when DC were in Y7/Y8 was:

• Sports Clubs - even a couple of days in the week - local clubs often ran coaching programmes, even a week-long residential once.
• DH and I WFH a couple of days a week so that there is someone in the house
• Occasional days when DC were left on their own if we had meetings that were unavoidable. Tried to start with a morning/afternoon but they were sensible and actually it was good for them to have some independence
• Days out with friends - cinema, bowling etc. I was fortunate that work can be flexible to drop off and pick up from town. Reciprocate with other parents.
• Family holiday - that was a couple of weeks sorted

It seems like a long time but it's around 30x days to cover. If you break it down into chunks and different options it's a bit messy but manageable.

My sons were left alone whilst I worked from the end of year 6. Never had any issues.

That’s a long way off and she will change a lot in that period of time. Gradually build up to leaving her and encouraging her to be independent.

Thats 18 months away she will likely be fine by then lot of growing up in that timr and maybe next year your youngest can go a few clubs by themselves to prepare them going on their own.
My y7 hasn't been left all day yet as we do wfh and he goes to sports camps but the youngest is going to clubs without his big bro still

Our school ran holiday sports clubs and you could be a young leader from first year. Meant you know where they are and are being kept busy.

As infrequently as we could manage, but ours were left. And we live semi rurally with one neighbour and no family in the county.

I agree that 11/12 is a tricky age. I feel guilty leaving my 10yo alone for even 20 minutes (I'm not sure it's even legal?) but I'm suppose to leave my 11yo all day?!

Seeing as you have two kids, maybe you could find a fun babysitter for a similar cost as two sets of holiday club? I have a lovely girl who covers INSET days etc for me - my kids love her.

Why can't you leave a 12 year old by herself? My son with ADHD is left by himself (with a slightly older brother). We try to avoid it as much as possible, mostly to make use of the limited family time we have than any other reason, but with 6 weeks holiday a year each but term holidays amounting to about 38 weeks (and we like to overlap sometimes) there will always be times we just can't cover.

I'm a single parent.
My child is 10 and a half at the minute.
At the minute we use two different holiday clubs.
But one of those takes up to age 14.
There are a few that go that are older. Obviously less than the younger ages.
It's the only one I've found that takes up to that age.

But if that wasn't there I'd have no choice I'd have to leave her on her own.

As it is, I'll see how I feel when she gets to that age.

Ps I always find it interesting how threads about Incidents At School (secondary) always seem to come to the consensus that the teachers should have been supervising more closely at every minute of the day, but that parents are ridiculous if they don't want to leave their 11/12yos unsupervised all day long 🤣🤣

Try looking at drama clubs - we have quite a few locally that put on a show, the kids can act or do Production . Those often exceed age 11.

I also found more specific sports clubs go to an older age, especially watersports like surfing, kayak, SUP, yachting and windsurfing which are all for (or accept) older kids. We have one kayak club which does day-long tours up the river, taking a picnic for lunch which is hard work and fab in warm weather.

You could put both of them in a PGL for a week/part of a week. Bit of a faff dropping off and picking up but then you can work long days while the kids are away to make up hours (if your employer will flex for you).

My dd has been fine at home also from age 12 (also September born). The biggest issue is she just spends her time on the iPad so I have to give her tasks like baking a cake, making dinner, cycle to the shops for some groceries etc. It’s amazing how quickly they grow up - by end y7 they can cook independently without wrecking the kitchen and head out for a bike ride remembering to lock the bike.

Our local outdoor pursuits centre do full day courses for 11+ during the holidays. Things like kayaking, abseiling, target sports. They usually run for 3 days and have a certificate at the end associated with some kind of national programme. Would that kind of thing work?

Is there a King's camp holiday club near you? They take older kids, up to 14 I think.

When my two were of a similar age they went for a couple of days to their former child-minder who they knew well and liked. They took themselves round to hers and spent the days under her 'supervision'. They played out, watched TV, had lunch, ran a few errands etc.

I didn't want to leave two boys aged 9 & 12 alone all day - I'm sure they would be fine as they were well behaved, but it was better that they had some structure and supervision for those few days.

No kids here but my friends leave their 12 year old home alone

Can you alternate WFH days? That's what we'll be doing when our daughter starts secondary school, i'll do say Mon and Wed in the office, husband at home, he'll do Tue/Thur office and me at home. Will probably do that until she's 13/14
Might also do it where she goes to a friends for the day and then we'll have said friend at ours another day.

Is it just my dc who would fight and argue all day long if they are left alone? They are 13 and 12. Individually I'd leave them... but not a chance together.

@DementedPanda yes, but it's probably been the best thing for them to learn conflict resolution when necessary, some days it just can't be avoided, I have no alternative, they know that, and they know the consequences of their actions.

I have a 12 year old. I'm lucky I work tto but I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her for more than half a day at home and she's a sensible girl.

My children at that age (12) were fine at home but not everyday.
If you have any flexibility with work to facilitate dropping off and picking up (or they can catch public transport), then trips with friends to cinema / swimming etc easily takes up half a day with a McDonalds lunch thrown in.
Sports centres or high schools often run holiday clubs for young teens.

It's tricky isn't it? When my older child went to secondary (younger was still nursery age) he didn't even like coming home after school if no one was here - this was pre covid and wfh want really a thing. Luckily his school had a "common room " club where they could stay until 6pm so one of us usually arrived home at the same time or soon after. But the holidays were a pain.

I think the first October half term we went on holiday, then managed to take time off or wfh for the Christmas holidays. Feb half term I managed to find a club at a private school that took kids up to 14 though it only ran 9-4 so he had to get the bus there and back. The club got really stroppy with us because there wasn't a parent to sign him in and out. They didn't get that we only needed holiday club because we were At Work! Anyway he was the only secondary age kid there and begged me not to send him again.

By the Easter hols he was 12 (just) and stayed home though I'd set him an activity + money if required for each day. So one day it would be kids AM at the cinema, next day swimming (free in school hols here), next day get a hair cut, next day went to the holiday session at his gymnastics club (they didn't approve of him being sent on the bus either!) Sometimes he'd do those things with friends. It built up his confidence a lot and by the time he started Year 8 he was happy to be home alone and proficient at amusing himself - most mornings were spent sleeping from that age! It helped a lot that we lived in the edge of the town centre and have a great bus service.

Youngest is nearly 10 so only a year and a half before I need to think about this again though wfh 3 days a week makes it easier.

I hope you work something out but wanted to share a few ideas.