Nanny who loves the kids, the kids love her, I like her as a person

[KatieDD]

BUT she's hopeless bless her.
The kids are constantly loosing things, shoes, drink bottles, it's something every day.
Their hair is like rats tails because they won't let her brush it and she doesn't insist.
I feel as though I do her job and mine and I'm constantly the bad guy.
I've leant her books and really don't know what else to do ?
Any words of wisdom ?
Thank you

oh dear KatieDD i know how you feel. Its just like having a teenage babysitter but much more expensive!!

No words of wisdon really I have similar issues with my nanny at the moment...........leaving £80 blazers at school over the holidays because in her view its my 6 year olds responsibility to remember it not hers!

Do you have a nanny handbook with some ground rules in it. I gave my nanny this at the beginning although a lot of the time it gets ignored.

I guess you cant put in what god left out!! But have you had a review with her and given her some targets ?

When she first started she seemed better at it than me ... had a note book full of what she was going to do every day, when the beds would be changed, cleaning rota etc but it all seems to have gone out of the window because I asked her to stop cleaning and spend more time with the children.
She is brilliant at playing but then when they've finished she will pile the game on my kitchen table for me to put away.
I know the kids loving her is the most important thing and stuff can be replaced but i'm quite anal about this sort of thing at the best of times and it's driving me nuts !!!

typical Katiedd.......our nanny was brilliant to start with but then she just got lax about it all and now I think doesn't really care!

how old is this nanny and what did her references say about her ?

Nooooooo - you have to sit down and have The Talk. Now. You are paying her to be a nanny and everything that goes with it. She's not the teenage daughter of friend who's popped by to play with your children. You have to nip this in the bud now otherwise you are making a rod for your own back and you'll be tidying up after your nanny for ever. You can't complain about it 6 months down the line.

You don't have to be rude/mean/harsh. You can say it nicely and she should do as you ask. It will really piss you off if you don't act.

My nanny was a bit like this to begin with and I used to hassle her (in the sweetest possible way) every day until it became second nature to her.

My nanny is fairly similar and the way I find round the most irritating problems is to keep reminding her how anal I am about certain things"would you mind washing up the breakfast things befroe you go out fo the whole day..you know how anal I am about washing up and sinks" kind of thing.

I also use dd as an example-if we are playing/have played a game I make dd put it away as"it's the right thing to do,you know Mummy gets cross if things aren't put away properly">
Bit of a cowars way out I guess but I don't want to rock the boat with my nanny for the saem reasons,dd loves her,she loves dd and we really like her.

Agree with Whoosh. When I told my nanny what things I wanted her to do I blamed it all on my obsessive neatness and need for tidyness. If I have to remind her of something I say "ooh, can you just give the table a quick wipe after the boys have eaten. You know what I'm like about silly things like that"

Well...if you told her to do less cleaning and spend more time with the kids, surely that's just what she's doing? If it really bothers you, you need to sit down and talk to her because she isn't psychic and probably has no idea that she's doing anything "wrong".

how old are your children?

depending on ages, they should be capable to play by their selves for 5mins while she changes beds etc, as that is part of nursery duties.

but in her defense, agree with branflake, you did ask her to cut down on cleaning and play more with children.

I think you can teach children from an early age to help tidy up after a game/toy thats been out so nanny and charges can all tidy up together and make it fun

have a quick word, and by all means blame it on your ocd but a good nanny should tidy up after herself/children.

If i had people in my house all day, I would want to come back to how i left it - its just good manners

I'm all matter of fact about this. I now give precise instructions (and write them all on the kitchen whiteboard) every morning, including everything that bugs me. So if I were you I'd write: load dishwasher, tidy toys, change beds, collect kids at 3.30, remember blazer, remember French homework, remember jumper, play from 5-6.30, make XYZ for supper. Then I would complain the same day if any of it hadn't been done. If you don't find a way to deal with it it gets v.stressful.