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My 4 year old daughter won't stop scratching at nursery.

4 replies

PardreDi3Bambini · 20/03/2024 11:58

My 3 year old daughter is a sweet and lovely little girl with a strong personality. She has always had a naughty and stubborn streak but recently she has been very naughty at nursey. She has been pushing other children and scratching them and pulling hair.
My wife and I have tried everything we can think of by offering support for positive behaviour and trying to set incentives like play dates to behave well. We have also restricted use of iPad and access to cartoons if she behaves badly but it doesn't seem to work.
The nursery have been incredibly supportive and have tried giving her individual attention but she has now scratched another 3 year old on the face twice and the parents understandably upset.
Our daughter is clearly struggling to express her frustration and we haven't given her the tools to articulate whatever it is she is going through.
Does anyone have any advice? It's getting to the stage where we may have to take her out of nursery if her behaviour doesn't improve which will be a financial strain as both my wife and I work full time.
Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Crimblecrumble1990 · 20/03/2024 12:01

Don't mean this to sound rude but are her fingernails short enough?

canyouletthedogoutplease · 20/03/2024 12:02

Try to think about her behaviour as communication, not the result of a naughty and stubborn streak. She's scratching because she's communicating something, that she has a need that's not being picked up or met in that situation. Taking her iPad away from her is completely unrelated and won't make any sense to her, which is why it's not working.

This website is a good resource if you'd like to try to work out how you can help her.

Peaceful Parent Happy Kids

Whether you’re wondering how to handle a specific challenge, just figuring out your child-raising approach, or ready to tear your hair out, you’ve come to the right place.

https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/

Thefaceofboe · 20/03/2024 13:52

Has the nursery said what the trigger seems to be for this behaviour? For example, is it over toys? Are they completing ABC forms (antecedent, behaviour, consequence) to try and get to the bottom of why she’s doing it. We had a child at my setting once who showed similar behaviours and after doing ABC forms for 2 weeks, we realised the pattern and it was always just before meals, so she was hungry and it was causing her to lash out more. Moving her meal times earlier really helped

Thefaceofboe · 20/03/2024 13:52

Also generally what is her communication like?

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