How does an Au Pair work?

[WineLover21]

Hello,

We are planning a move to London soon and a return to work.

I have two young children and wondered how an Au Pair situation works.

South London - what would the costs be for this?

Any concerns?

Thanks ☺️

The usual situation is the au pair lives in, gets free room and board (ie all their food), plus some pocket money of say £200/week. Many people will also provide a topped up Oyster card or phone SIM too. In return they do up to 25 hrs of childcare/light housework. They are not supposed to have sole charge of under 3s. They work best as a mother’s help to a mostly SAHM or as an after school nanny for school age children.

It is very very hard to find au pairs post Brexit. There are a few Aus/NZ/Canadian ones around, or au pairs from the EU but with dual passports. But they are all like hens teeth.

How old are your children?
the au pair situation is going to change again in April, with the removal of a minimum wage get out for domestic staff, so you now have to pay minimum wage minus the accommodation offset. So for an 18-20 year old you would get 25 hours plus a babysit for £200/week.
as the PP said, they look after older children.

Au pairs do not look after very small children (definitely not under 3s) as sole carer as an au pair is not a nanny - they are normally gap-year type students from other countries with limited childcare experience. An aupair usually does wrap around care - school/nursery drop offs and pickups after school baby sitting etc.

Au pairs are not full time workers as the basic idea is a cultural exchange so they usually work around 25-30 hours.

You will also need to provide an au pair with their own room, meals and pocket money etc. Some hosts offer other perks such as travel cards/mobile top-ups/gym. If your children would need to be driven you need to check the insurance implications of adding a potentially young or new driver.

You are responsible for checking that the au-pair has the right to work in the UK. It is very difficult post-Brexit as it ruled out the traditional European/Scandi au pairs who have freedom of movement. Be very wary of potential candidates who are thinking of working illegally on a tourist visa as it could get you into a lot of legal difficulty.

Great, thank you. Kids are 2 and 4, but will be in childcare and school. It's more for the early morning drop off and pick up, bath and dinner. Plus evening babysitting as we will be working late. Do you think that's doable? Or unreasonable?

What kind of working hours are you talking about here if you're expecting them to drop the kids off to nursery/preschool/school, and pick them up, do dinner and bath, plus "evening babysitting as we will be working late"? Is that every weekday?

Au pairs are meant to be treated like an older child member of the family, like if you had an 18-25 year old daughter or son who was living with you and helped out with the younger kids and some basic household tasks in exchange for their room, board and pocket money.

What you've described is sounding more like a part-time nanny. An 18 year old unqualified teenager isn't likely to be able to manage the full after nursery and school up to bedtime routine solo for a 2 and 4 year old.

You want a proper nanny, or perhaps an older, more experienced person as an after-school carer, the type of job perhaps a SAHM whose children are grown or a younger retiree might want. You would be asking an awful lot of an older teen to deal with nursery til bedtime with minimal work or childcare experience.

if you just want evenings (4-7pm say 3 days per week) then getting a part-time nanny (often an undergraduate student) can work well.

getting someone to do morning dropoffs is often v hard because no one wants to commute 45 mins each way to do 1hr of work.

Agree that morning get ready and bedtime routine with a 2 and 4 yr old would be beyond most au pairs. You need someone with childcare experience for this age, ie a nanny.

Have a look at Koru Kids or try advertising on childcare.co.uk (but you will need to check references very carefully).

If you can manage the mornings yourself- take it in turns with DP? - you will find it a lot easier to find someone for just the pms. Nobody wants to do 1hr morning and then from 3/4 onwards.

Presume you need holiday cover too? If so then say so when looking - I have found more nannies are interested if their average hours will be 25+ a week - even if it’s much less in term time and much more in holidays.

You could also try asking the TAs at school or the nursery staff - some may want extra hours and of course it works with drop off.

You may indeed local private nursery s do a breakfast and after-school club and transport children to and from from school. You might be more likely to find this if you live near a hospital as some nursery s accommodate hospital shift patterns.

It sounds like too much for an aupair as it includes regular evenings.
I actually think the drop off and pickup would work.
Although you are meant to cook more for the aupair than they cook for the family.
You obviously need a spare room, probably a bathroom and depending on location an insured car for them.
There aren't nearly as many post Brexit.

Au pairs vary massively, as long as you go for an older one with childcare experience you should be fine.

It will obviously depend on what time school/nursery finish and what you're expecting, but people have very low expectations of 18-21 year olds if they think walking two kids home and feeding them/bathing them is an unreasonable ask!

If you have space and are happy with live-in it may be worth cutting nursery hours and getting a live-in nanny instead, you're then covered for school holidays/sickness as well.

people have very low expectations of 18-21 year olds if they think walking two kids home and feeding them/bathing them is an unreasonable ask!

Yes I do think getting a 2 and 4 year old home, entertaining them for the afternoon, cooking for them and (especially) getting them to bed, day in day out, is quite a big ask for someone with no childcare experience and quite possibly no aptitude for it (remember most au pairs are doing it for the travel experience not because they want to work in childcare). As an occasional thing it would be fine of course, but as a daily solution it wouldn’t be what I’d choose for my kids.

Some au pairs are fabulous BUT I have heard quite a few stories of au pairs who were impatient, snappy or reticent/awkward with the children, or who just didn’t know what to do. At least older children are more independent and (crucially) can tell parents if they are not happy.

"people have very low expectations of 18-21 year olds if they think walking two kids home and feeding them/bathing them is an unreasonable ask!"

If it was walking home an 8 year old and a 10 year old, supervising while they do their spellings and watch some TV and throwing together some spag bol - that would probably be fine for an au pair. But having sole charge of a 2 year old and 4 year old is quite a different kettle of fish!

Would you leave a person who doesn't have children, has never worked looking children, and doesn't have any qualifications in childcare, with sole responsibility for collecting, looking after, cooking for, feeding, bathing and putting to bed a 2 year old and 4 year old?

Because maybe you can find an older or experienced person who would be fine with that, but nominally an au pair is an unqualified young adult who helps with kids and household tasks while they're here learning the language and experiencing the culture for 6-12 months, living as part of your family. They're not an experienced or professional childcarer.

No, I wouldn't leave someone who had no experience with children/no childcare qualifications in charge of young children. Very many au pairs do in fact have some childcare experience or a low level qualification. In fact I don't think I've ever met an au pair with no childcare experience whatsoever!

There's no need for the OP to rule out all au pairs because some might not be very good. Presumably the OP has sufficient common sense to look for someone with some experience/references.

I think it's probably a moot point anyway because au pairs are so hard to come by now, but it's worth knowing that au pairs vary MASSIVELY in terms of age and qualifications/experience. It's worth looking.

This sounds good. We can definitely do mornings ourselves. I think a Nanny might be better, my only concern is working late and who covers that.

Thanks for this, a lot to think about.

As you have a 2 yr old you may be better off just having a full time nanny until they are both school age. Also much more flexible re late finished, sick kids, inset days, holidays etc plus they can do bits of cooking / kids laundry when there is nap/downtime.