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Seeking Advice on Babysitting Burdens

3 replies

7upducks · 16/03/2024 23:20

Hey everyone,

I'm facing a challenging family situation and could really use some advice. My mom has been looking after my brother's 4-year-old son, but she's feeling overwhelmed and taken advantage of. She's putting in way more effort than anyone else in the family, and it's really starting to take a toll on her.

The thing is, my brother's partner claims her own mom can't help out due to health issues. However, my mom has seen her mom perfectly fine, which doesn't add up. What's more, neither her dad nor her mom steps in to help either, leaving my mom to handle everything alone.

To make matters worse, whenever my mom tries to assert herself and say no to babysitting, they threaten to give the kid to his step-grandparents. Plus, my nephew has mentioned that his step-grandma isn't very gentle when cutting his nails, which worries my mom.

It feels like my brother's partner holds all the power in the relationship, leaving my brother afraid to stand up for my mom. He's worried she'll leave and take the kid with her, leaving him with nothing.

Adding to the frustration, my brother's partner doesn't do much at home. She avoids housework, cooking, and even picking up their son from nursery. And when my mom tried to get a part-time job to regain some independence, they got upset because she couldn't babysit as much.

On top of all this, I suspect that both of the parents might have cluster B personality disorders, which could be contributing to the dysfunction in the family.

It's a tough situation, and it's hard seeing my mom being taken advantage of like this. Any advice on how to navigate this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your help, everyone.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/03/2024 23:29

Your mum feels she has to babysit to protect child from the step grandma?

Unless a known safeguarding risk which she should report then she should leave it. It's not on her shoulders. It doesn't matter if they get upset if she works - they're hardly going to cut off contact to a free good babysitter are they?

Your mum should give them notice to the current arrangements and then let them know what she can offer

NewName24 · 16/03/2024 23:34

What Unexpectedly said.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2024 10:36

Emotional blackmail

Your brother needs to grow some balls

Is he on the birth certificate

Tell your mum to say no

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