To use a babysitter to get a break?

[Twinkiebinkieseven]

Hi all,

Some advice needed please. I'm a single mum to a 4 year old and 11 year old.

I absolutely adore my kids but I'm feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. I have a demanding job, the kids dad lives over 100 miles away and seems to see the kids less and less.

I honestly feel like my life is over and I'm living a prison sentence, I rarely sleep due to work, errands, sports clubs, keeping up with the chores and the constant appointments (one kid is Sen so I always have some appointment) and my four year old is incredibly intense and always needs me. I can't even go for a wee without him behind me. With the cost of living I can't even consider dropping my hours as financially everything falls on me bar the pittance I get from my ex.

I can't even look in the mirror as I look so old and haggard and am constantly exhausted. I'm also so angry and resentful to my ex, I want to get some counselling but can't even find the time for that.

So, my question is has anyone used paid babysitters just to get some time back? How did it go? How did you use them? How did you find them? Did it help?

That is what a babysitter is for isn't it? A break.

You're over thinking it.

There is no rule for what you can use babysitters for.

Get as much help as you can/need, there is no shame. You'll probably be more mentally present if you get a break sometimes. Your kids will be fine.

Is the Bubble app available where you are?

Isn’t this normal? My situation is different as I’m a lone parent to 4, they don’t see their father as he wants no contact and no family. People always suggest to me to pay for a babysitter it’s me that would rather no (Just personal reasons) but it’s always suggested to me like the obvious solution so it’s clearly a normal thing to do. There are websites you can use but I will warn you it’s very expensive and when I looked just out of interest it was between 15/20 £ and minimum of 4 hours.

Absolutely get a babysitter! At 4 and 11 they’ll be absolutely fine. Maybe something regular to give you a time to look forward to each week. There are a number of apps, or school parents will be able to recommend someone.

Do it.

Send them to the zoo or similar with a sitter and a packed lunch and enjoy!

Defo get a babysitter! Ask around your kids school parents as they may have someone they can recommend or ask on your local Facebook site for recommendations?

Do it.

I am not a lone parent but was a sahm and I put Ds in nursery one day a week, he had previously been 3 days when I worked part time. I had a lovely break, had some house sorting time and some me time. I would absolutely tell you to use a babysitter when you need to. There is no medal at the end of parenting 0-18yrs, my youngest is now an adult. Do it for your sanity.

Yep get a sitter. I'm a lone parent of 3 and have 3 teens who babysit for me when required. They're all friends daughters who want a bit of extra cash. I go out on average twice a month. It's a life saver! I also use them in the day if I have appointments or just want to go shopping by myself.

Absolutely do it