Au-pair smells (well reeks quite frankly) and too embarassed and english to say anything

[Quattrocento]

It is quite gaggingly revolting in a corner of the Quat house. The au-pair's room gets cleaned every week and the sheets changed too.

I think the issue is a lack of deodorant compounded by an unwillingness to wash clothes. The smell is creeping down the stairs. It is horrible and I am just too embarassed to say anything.

How on earth do I broach this?

I think this is one situation where beating around the bush will get you nowhere. You just have to have it out with him, I'm afraid. And have to admit it would probably come better from dh/dp if you have one!

On thinking about this further, I would say to him "There's a funny smell coming from your room, I think it might be from a build up of washing. Your clothes ARE a bit smelly come to think of it-no offence! do you need help using the washing machine buttons/cycles? I'm worried we'll get mould in the room, can you make sure you keep your clothes etc clean please?"

Make it more about the room than him. It's your property, he has a duty to look after it.

The joy of living with a teenage boy! I remember how rank my brother and his room smelled when he was in his late teens - getting a girlfriend sorted that out though

Id probably hire a stranger to do it!

Good luck, I think tell him, maybe he doesnt notice? And if he does notice but doesnt care then he either needs to clean up his act or leave!

he is not a teenager - he is 25 years old, a graduate, and pretty bright FGS. Surely he should be niff-free by now?

I always get dh to do the embarrassing things like this. It's fair enough imo because they're not around so much to live with the consequences.

TBH I would be far less embarrassed mentioning it to a man. Just be v blase when you mention it. e.g. XXXX is that pong you? My God, go and have a wash man. (Followed by a big winning grin).

Far far worse to be all cringey and apologetic when you mention it, IYKWIM.

Ah, I was envisioning an 18 year old...

definitely get dh to do it, man to man..

My French AP (25 yr old woman) wiffed despite long daily showers, she didn't wear any anti-perspirant and wore clothes for days on end.

She kindly covered the whole lot up with a liberal dousing of lavender talc everyday though, which was actually worse. I'm still airing her room and she's been gone weeks!

Get DH to do it.

so, did you break it to him?

my aupair also has a BO problem, but i think she is aware of it and regularly washes/deodorizes even in the middle of the day. but the other day i told her that i didn't want to embarass her, but her shirt was smelly. she took it well and changed it.

why do we have to apologise for asking them to be hygienic?

pretend that one of your kids complained that he is smelly?!

agree with JamesAndTheGiantBanana : say there is a funny smell coming from the room and investigate with him what it might be. brr.

Hi I would say to him I am going shopping does he want you to buy him anything like deodrant, soap, food etc. This is a suttle slap around the head Or just be so honest and say that it is causing a problem.

Juliax3 - it's embarrassing, though, it's not just about being hygienic. What if someone had a bogey hanging down their nose, would you mention it or not? Or dandruff?

mayhe he honestly doesnt know he smells,some people dont

friend ex mb smelt horrible&she was so used to it,she didnt reliese iykwim

you can either be subtl and ask if nneds any deodrant or you can just be blunt and say you smell a bit pongy - or maybe get DH to say it,might sound better from a man

i would like to think that a friend would tell me if i was pongy

How did it go?

FWIW, my husband insists on not wearing deodorant. He showers every day, sometimes twice, but even so, his pits often stink. Men need to be told directly they need to wear deodorant.

Maybe buy some Lynk shower-gel & spray when next at the supermarket?