Should I be worried about our nursery?

[OnThisHarvestMoon]

Hi all,

DD (15 months) had her first settling in at nursery today. The environment seems engaging and they have a Scandinavian style curriculum that aims to teach independence and do lots of outdoor time and fun activities. Overall the atmosphere seems happy and caring. When I visited it initially I was really impressed.

Today, however, at DDs first settling in session there were a few things that really bothered me. A little girl was crying and one of the key workers said “we don’t cry” to her. That same key worker also seemed really cross when another child threw a toy and sort of marched her over to the toy and said “pick it up”. I totally get that children need boundaries but at the same time, they’re so little and have no impulse control. Of course they’re going to cry and throw things. Shouldn’t they be teaching them a healthier way to redirect their emotions rather than getting them to suppress them?

My key worker seemed more patient, but she kept telling this little girl who was shrieking to “use her words”. That seemed so unhelpful; she didn’t have any words as far as I could tell! It must have been such a confusing instruction for her.

Am I overreacting or are these red flags? We’ve already paid the deposit so need to stay there at least a month.

Thank you!

Mmm if they are speaking like that with a parent in the room I'd be wondering what it's like when no one is watching. How old were the children in the room?

@mrsnjw the children were between the ages of 1 and 2

That doesn't sound great.

I'd say the ethos of this nursery (or at least room) is very firm, brisk and no-nonsense. At least you know exactly what to expect.
Whether this is the environment you want for your 1 year old is up to you.

yeah, if you have any misgivings while you are there then I’d say they are red flags. This will be their best behaviour because a parent is present, it will be so very much worse if you’re not there.
I had a similar experience many years ago when I took dd for a settling visit. They were making very young children (age 2 & 3) line up to go outside to play (I felt this was a high expectation at this age). Worker was impatient with one particular child for not getting inline quick enough, yanked him into place by his arm which made him cry. Said to the other member of staff. Why is he crying like that?
when they got outside the staff proceeded to both lie down on the grass and sunbathe while i supervised and interacted with the children! Needless to say dd didn’t end up going there!

1 and 2 oh they are babas. Staff need to be modelling language and giving cuddles and love. If they are wanting to throw things, that's a normal developmental pattern for babies, they should be providing things for them to throw like the ballpit balls and beanbags etc. Doesn't sound great. Were the staff qualified?

Sounds like they lack insight into child development and behaviour thus are not responding appropriately.