Childminder

[SugarandSpiceLatte]

Hi, is it normal that my childminder doesn’t usually tell me about my child’s day without me asking? And she is constantly forgetting things like his hat or his coat or favourite teddy.

When you had the initial meeting was it discussed in how the childminder shares what’s happened during the day? If not then just ask for a little run down either on pick up or maybe asked her to text you.

sometimes things do get forgotten, it can’t hurt to double check when you collect your little one at the end of each day

She told me she will let me know how he is at end of each day when he first started but instead she talks about herself.. like she has just informed me there now that he’s had a nose bleed and he didn’t eat his lunch, I feel like these are important things to tell me as usually means he’s getting unwell, not sure how to approach her about it without sounding rude

Whatsapp her just before you pick up and ask how he's been.

Every day the childminder writes about my child's activities in a childcare diary so I can read about everything he's done during the day. I'm surprised yours doesn't do this and that you have to ask 🤔

She should tell you these things, but if she's an otherwise good childminder and your son is happy and settled then I'd just remember to ask when I picked him up. Surely, "How's he been?" is an off the tongue question anyway?!

In terms of forgetting his things, again in an ideal world she'd remember, but she's got multiple kids and multiple parents to think about, you've just got one. Why don't you remember his coat/teddy/hat?

Do you ask how his day has been?

How else does she communicate?
Does she have an online account where you can see how his day has been?
Or send updates/photos via WhatsApp?

I don’t collect my son from the childminder very often, it’s usually my husband. It’s nearly every other day that she forgets something or forgets to give his medication even though she says she sets an alarm for his medication, it’s sometimes not been given.

Not giving medication is a safeguarding issue and I would remove him immediately.

With regards to the forgetting things/having to ask how his day has been it doesn't matter if it's you/your husband, one of you just needs to ask. Is your husband mute? Or an idiot?

She messages me on Facebook mostly, I ask for photos and she says that he doesn’t want his photo taken or if I do message her for a wee update she just says he’s fine with no other detail given. My husband usually collects him and he’s often in a rush home so sometimes doesn’t realise that things are forgotten about- if he forgets something she usually always blames him and says he’s hid it when normally he doesn’t hide things

The point is, I shouldn’t have to ask how his day is- she should be telling me at home time, i work in a daycare myself so I would expect to be told the same as I tell the parents of the child I look after. In regards to calling my husband an idiot that’s just rude- she is often talking about herself at home time and he doesn’t usually want to hang about chatting.

How old is your son? The medication is concerning, is this something he has to take everyday?

He is 3. Yes it has to be given at the same time each day for it to be effective and I appreciate it that sometimes it can be forgotten but it is important he takes it.

I absolutely agree with you as you can see from my first post. She should tell you. But she doesn't does she? So if you want the information you have to ask. That's just very basic common sense.

I didn't call your husband an idiot, I asked if he was, because you'd have to be a bit dim or disinterested to collect a child from daycare and not ask how they were, wouldn't you?! You know that given that you work in daycare yourself!

But anyway all of this is completely irrelevant anyway because you later mentioned she fails to give him the medication he needs, which means you should withdraw him immediately. Again, you must know this if you also work in childcare!

Your husband is being asked whether he is mute or an idiot because he is your son's parent so should care for how he's being looked after by the CM.

Your husband should be concerned about your son's well-being and shouldn't just expect you to deal with it.

I never needed to ask my DP how our DD has been during the day when he picked her up from CM or nursery as he just told me.

She sounds a bit slack tbh.

When I was a childminder I always gave a brief run down of the day on handover. And would let parents know anything important.

I would send photos/respond to messages and the children each had a scrap book which i regularly updated.

It wasn't around when I was a childminder but I know some childminders use apps to share info (my sons nursery do)

The forgetting things occasionally happens but I tried to keep everything in the bag to reduce that. It tended to be the older ones who would remove stuff from their bags that were the issue.

I'd have a word with her but if you feel it's not good enough you could look for an alternative setting

Ok not giving medicine is not on. She sounds useless get someone else. I don't think you need to be hosted everyday, in fact I think that's OTT. Bit she sounds overall forgetful and disorganised

Your husband should be having a handover conversation with her if he is the one collecting and he should be making sure your child has everything. It's not the childminders fault that he's in too much of a rush.

Forgetting to give medication is not on at all and I would be having a word about this.

'Hi, is it normal that my husband doesn't ask the childminder how our son's day was and I can only find that out if I ask her myself'? Is what the title should be.

I expect 'fine, he had a good day' is a bit repetitive for the CM so she doesn't bother to mention anything unless it's significant.

I'm a nanny and only in my first job did I keep a diary. I stopped after the mum said very kindly that she didn't look at it and was happy just for pictures.

Moving forward all other jobs have said the same, I send photos at the end of the week but mostly they go unacknowledged and one parent even said she only wanted photos of something completely different he child did.

There's only so many photos of a child playing in the park or splashing/painting/running that you can take.

Both at our previous childminder and now at nursery we get a basic - she had a nice day, ate and drank well etc but always quite vague. We get photos 2-3 times a week though

I write in a little book a brief description if what we did. I send a couple of pics via WhatsApp. They are sent twice a year reports and half termly newsletters. I update my Facebook a couple of times per week. I have to be quick at the door as I have other children to look after but always make time if there is something that needs discussing. I do feel like us as childminders get under more scrutiny when we don't really deserve it. For example, school forgets medication or to tell you about an accident, non issue. Childminder does and parents are phoning ofsted, then we get an unannounced visit which is horrendous and potentially closed for 6 weeks with no income whilst they investigate. Another example, my kids nursery's (2 separate ones) Never updated with what they were learning about, or how their day was and that's fine, it's how they work but for a childminder everyone questions it. You either trust the setting or you don't and if you don't, you know the answer. It is really very difficult to look after 3/4 under 5s all day, everyday so sometimes things do get missed unfortunately but there should have been better communication and an apology.