Tell me about life post nanny

[glasslightly]

DH and I work full time in jobs which are 60 hours plus a week and have three primary age DC, one with some additional needs (at present largely support with homework which is e do). We’ve had a full time nanny for nearly 10 years, but now the kids are all settled in school full time we’re thinking about moving away from this. Our current lovely nanny knows this and it fits with her plans, but I’m thinking about the practicalities and would love to hear from those who have moved away from a nanny relationship?

Our main drivers are cost (4K a month) and fact that we think kids would benefit from some of the club activities in the holidays. We would consider an after school nanny a day or so a week but I know this isn’t always available. It would also give us more flexibility - currently have to plan holidays etc quite carefully and naturally share those with Nanny.

DH also now WFH and I WFH a couple of days a week, which makes things easier. Time wise we know we could share drop offs / pick ups but this would mean that we would have to be absolutely disciplined at holding one of 8-9 or 5-6 free.

If you both work 60 hours+ a week then presumably you're looking at using breakfast clubs and afterschool clubs for most days? Because you say you could share drop off and pick ups, but how does that fit with you both working 12 hour days. Primary schools finish around 3pm and three kids of primary school age you probably can't just pick up and leave to their own devices at home - you both have to be working late into the evenings with those hours, so how does getting to any mid-week afterschool activities, dinner, bath, bedtime happen?

I’ve read it twice and I’m not sure what you’re asking. As pp said, if you’re both working 60 plus hours a week, how are you going to manage the children the times the nanny normally has them?

If the children are at a prep school there might be an option to increase hours. Our local prep schools have an 8 am drop off and the children are picked up at 5.30 after homework if one of you can do the drop off/pick up. At my child's primary school lots of parents employ a TA/teacher for after school hours which might work as well or a combination of the two.

We’ve our nanny nearly 10 yrs. Eldest is starting secondary this year and youngest is 6. The stability, routine and homework support are invaluable. With 4 kids, they would still cost a lot to send to after school club but without the benefit of sickness cover, school holidays etc. Also now they are older, our nanny does a lot of housework while they’re at school. The biggest though is the homework. Kids are high achievers and I know DH and I couldn’t give them the support and discipline with their work while also working ourselves. So I think we’ll hopefully have her with us till all kids are in secondary.

Lack of homework / reading. My two won't sit and do it themselves - they need someone to sit with them even just watching. They used to do it after school every day but when we lost the after school nanny (no one is interested in 2 hours a day) it is a real struggle to get them to continue.

So you are saying to cut costs (and yes understand why at £4k a month but that's normal for full time nanny)

That one of you will always do drop off and collect

But what happens after once home

Who will sit /listen/help with reading /math/spelling as basics what my year 2 gets

Plus cooking tea /bath

And asa - who will take and collect

I can't see how this will work tbh

Maybe cut down to an after school nanny so 3/7 but I see jobs for these hours many times (I'm admin on a nanny site) and parents struggle as not enough hours for a nanny to live off

What does the nanny do now when the school are in school? If she's doing child admin, nursery duties etc you'll have to pick up that up.
Do the dc finish school at 5?
What will you do when you both have a meeting you absolutely can't avoid at 4-5.30?
What will you do when dc are ill, there's no one to go to thir school play / assembly etc?
Are there holiday clubs to cover enough weeks, suitable ones they'll all go to?
I think if you've been paying 4k a month I'd probably throw 2k a month at a mother's help / housekeeper nanny who'll work 2 til 6 doing some housework then collect the children, feed them and supervise homework.

No way does this sound feasible right now. Life after nanny is only good if it is a natural transition time, this doesn’t sound like one.

After school care etc is going to add up for 3+ children. Your nanny probably makes your life so much easier- you simply don't have the stress that those without have. I'd keep her!

Could you look for an after school nanny, term time only? With some housekeeping hours if wanted? That way you would save on costs, but would only need to share drop-off with your DH. You wouldn’t have to worry about the holiday flexibility and your DC could go to the holiday clubs you think they’d benefit from.

One of the reasons after school nanny positions are hard to fill is short hours (hence suggesting offering housekeeping hours if desired) and because people often request full time during the holidays which is an unappealing work pattern. You could avoid that if holiday clubs are an option.

Thanks for all your replies. Current nanny lovely but really not interested in doing housework wider than kids ironing and cooking.

This is how I see it working:

Cost of holiday clubs and wrap around care looks to average out at £1300 a month.

One parent does pick up/ one does drop off between 8-9 and 5-6.

we both are usually available and at home from 6:30 and do about 50% of homework with the kids plus all reading.

we both are early risers so will get a couple of hours work in before kids are awake already, then 8/9 hours between pick up, then hour or so after they’re asleep. Plus I do 5-6 hours early morning at weekends, but yes it’s brutal.

we batch cook our meals and will need to do more of that.

were senior and long servers at work so both have flexibility, we don’t have family locally but do have friends we can lift share with.

yes it’s stressing me out, but honestly I can’t make the nanny finances work - and there’s nearly 20 hours a week when she admits she doesn’t have anything to do. We’re also finding the holidays more stressful as kids want to do art or sports clubs like their friends, and are quite over all the free museums. We’d definitely consider an after school nanny - but as other posters have said good ones are like gold dust !

as for what I’m asking - it’s very much positive and negative stories from
moving to a different type of childcare

I'd get yourself a part time housekeeper to do the laundry, ironing, keep on top of uniform and cook family meals etc. That will help free up some time for you and will be far cheaper than a full time nanny.

We have done both switches. Similarly both in senior roles and long hours. No family help locally. We went from having a nanny to none for about 18 months, and in the last month we’ve gone back to having an after school nanny.

Factors that made the switch to no nanny easier - DH was wfh pretty much all the time and v flexible, school v close by, my office only a 20 minute commute away and also quite flexible, no work travel (that is a killer on the parent at home), increasing our cleaners hours and outsourcing other jobs.

Finances were much better but - as kids got older they got so bored of wrap around care and we found post Covid there were also fewer children there till 6pm. They HATED being the last ones to be picked up. Activities were really limited there and felt they were missing out on so much by not having play dates in the afternoons with friends, various activities etc. They were also v tired at the end of the day and homework was a real struggle.

Holiday club hours are generally not 8am - 6pm near us, so school holidays were a nightmare trying to get them to different places only from 9 - 3pm and then in the summer hols there was nothing in the last two weeks of august as the holiday camps were on holiday

We moved house and school is now further away, I also need to travel abroad more for work than previously and DH is in the office more too. It just wasn’t sustainable anymore. We found (eventually) an after school nanny, a nearby uni student, but we know she will leave in the summer when her course finishes so it’s only a temporary fix. Really an au pair would be the perfect thing for us but not so easy anymore either with visa requirements etc.

I think it depends on your set up whether it is achievable or not. But I am totally with you, I really struggled with the idea of paying someone for those hours where most weeks she had nothing to do.

Our school has before and after school club 7.30 - 6, but all the local holiday clubs run 8 or 9 til 3.30. Make sure you can cover their holidays before you stop the nanny.
My dc are older now - one 10 year old and two teens - so I don't need childcare but they still have a lot of extracurriculars which they need to be driven to.
Mine have also all detested holiday clubs from age 9/10 onwards so you should also consider that.

I didn't want to do housework and cleaning when my youngest charge went to school so they made me redundant and I got a good redundancy package due to age and time I had been there

So I Don't blame your nanny as sounds like me. I trained for 2yrs at college to look after children.

Not to hoover dust and clean loo's

But

They hired a nanny/hk

Who was happy to do some cleaning and ironing and got rid of cleaner and myself as I said no to new role

There are nannies /hk out there

I just think trying to do on your own will be too hard