How do you afford childcare?

[plinkyblonk]

Hi

I have just found out I'm pregnant with baby no.2 (total sutprise), and the only thing that's worrying me and putting a downer on my joy is how we are going to afford childcare! How does everyone else cope/pay for it etc?

We were lucky with DD as family stepped in to help but not sure they are fit enought to watch another baby/toddler these days plus the guilt drives me insane.

We live in Scotland so there is no roll out of extra funding for 9 nonth old, etc, like England at the moment and have been searching like mad to see if Scotland wull have something similar in the pipeline that would help. X

We did find it quite tough, but it was manageable.

I worked part time in evenings and weekends when dc2 was born. I was freelance, so could do that. It was a bit rough though and I missed my dcs and dh. Then we had covid and everyone was at home anyway with no childcare. Free hours kicked in for us when dc2 was 3 and then he went to preschool and I worked part time again (mornings), so could pick him up.

Now I'm full time again we use a lot of wraparound care and I'm feeling The Guilt about that as one of them hates going. I'm trying to find term time only work now as holiday clubs are also £££.

I think I'm just being as flexible as possible about it. Dh earns a lot more than I do and that was always likely to be the case for a number of reasons. If I was the main earner, I'd expect dh to be more flexible

Can you wfh at the family members house? To help (bare minimum?)

childcare costs are awful. Maybe weigh up whether it would be cheaper for you to work PT than FT and stay at home instead of full time nursery.

Tax free childcare.
Work.
Accepting it's going to be tough and cutting back on holidays/paid days out/treats.

And if there's two of you if you can condense your hours to 9/10 each then that's a days childcare saved each week

I worked evenings and weekends so that my hubby was around to look after my two, it was fantastic to be with my kiddies during the daytime - quite a luxury as I worked full time when I had my oldest and she used to go to childminders.

What will your age gap be? If you think about it, you might not have that long where they are both in childcare before your eldest starts pre school/is eligible for free hours. So it might be cheaper to take a long Maternity leave to bridge that gap if you know what I mean. That's what I have done, so I'm only (?!) paying for two full time places for 5 months before it drops due to eldest starting pre school. I'm in NI where we only get 12.5 hrs and it's shockingly bad. So I feel your pain

My second was twins - I took a 10 year loan out of £25k to spread the cost of childcare over 10 years rather than 3 - works for me due to the sums involved of paying for two children

My daughter will be 7. So won't need childcare for her appart for holidays. I know it'll have to sort itself out but with childcare being £££ it's a wee bit of a scary thought.

I've just in the last year gone back full-time to a job I'm really enjoying:after 6 years of part-time unskilled work which i didn't enjoy for childcare reasons. so I think I'm just panicking a bit of what will be for the next few years.

I couldn’t so I had to leave the job I adored and was top of my pay scale at.
I got a job (I detested every minute of) that was weekends and evenings.
My dh managed to adjust his hours to allow for greater flexibility too.

Those were dark and very tough days but didn’t last forever.

I managed to eventually claw my way back up the ladder and went back to my adored job when the time was right.

Thanke for all your replies! I'm sure it'll work out...its just a scary thought to be skint for a few more years.

You look at it as 2 hard years financially with the prospect of a better financial future.

When I went on maternity leave I was on £25k (DH £21k), I took 9 months leave then went back full time time. Childcare was just over £1k a month which was over double our mortgage payment.

Honestly for 2 years we just had basics, no holidays, no new clothes for me or DH, food shop as low as possible etc

The term after DD turned 3 we became eligible for the 30 hrs funded (term time only) which reduced our monthly childcare cost to around £300. By then I'd had promotions and was earning £35k so our financial situation was much improved. Because I didn't have a long career break and was able to continue to progress, by the time DD went to school I was on £50k and it has continued to increase over the years.

You need to look at the long term picture.

Planned pregnancies with a decent gap to avoid this.

@MamaBearsss pp said her pregnancy was a total surprise and her eldest is 7 so a big gap already

I've just in the last year gone back full-time

What are you bringing home each month and what hours of child care will you need?

I'm pregnant with my 3rd and I've accepted that we will simply have to get used to having less money. Thankfully my other 2 are older and do not require childcare (youngest starts secondary not long after I go back to work).

Being a parent in 2024 is expensive, we need to accept that before we even get pregnant unfortunately..

Yes in an ideal world we'd all do that....I have PCOS so not easy to get pregnant and we kind of resigned ourselves we wouldn't have another unless we went down the fertility route which we decided against. So yeah I'd loved to have saved and planned for it all and would have if we were "trying" and because I haven't planned and saved I'm wondering what others do to cope.

@Shinyandnew1 we havr decent amount coming in and need to work out hours vs cost of childcare etc before I decent exactly what we need.
@HalloumiGeller oh I know it's super expensive....just panicking a bit.

The financial burden of childcare was a big worry for me when deciding whether we should have a baby, plus time wasn't on my side (late 30s). But in the end I didn't want having a baby to be a privilege only for the rich, and if you wait until you can "afford" it, you never will.

@HalloumiGeller this is my thoughts exactly! I'm.also mid 30s so I've not got time on my side and managing to conceive without fertility treatment is a massive blessing x

If you like your job and/or it has profession opportunities and/or is hard to get back into, consider working even if it's not really gaining anything. I know people that did that and it meant they had experience that got them promotions so worked out in the end. Equally what you enjoy is important. Not always an option I know but if it is, don't let short term finances dictate your life!
I am so shocked by nursery costs. I live near London and the costs are close to £2k per month at most nurseries, although childminders are cheaper and only charge for hours used not full days. Most people I know are either financially well off and just resigned to spending what used to be their monthly savings/holidays/do what they want money on childcare, or are constantly struggling to get grandad to do Tuesdays but then he has a hospital appointment so they rang the childminder but they only have morning space so asked the boss if they can do a half day and make up the hours on Monday evening etc etc. I.e. it's a knife edge balancing act.

@Anonnewbie yep going back full-time as it stands, nursery 3 days and family/daddy (shift worker) the orher 2days We are going to take the hit for a couple years till the funding becomes available. As we will reap the benefits at the other end; plus being FT means I can apply for other jobs with out worrying about childcare etc.