SEN Daughter in Reception

[Megan20233]

Hi Everyone

My daughter started reception this year at school, at present she doesn't speak, but can process fee instructions verbally and thorough gestures. She's isn't toilet trained, and is showing some traits of Autism, were in a waiting list for a diagnostic for this.

She's on EHCP and Sen at school, they have also hired an extra person to assist her during school time. The School in question is an excellent rating school, my eldest daughter attendeds, and is doing excellent.

However the school are only keeping her for an hour and 30mins each day, they say as soon as it's 10.30 she gets distressed and starts crying, they said they will start to increase her time.

Unfortunately my daughter hasn't shown any signs of progress, while she's been attending School. She's still 4 months down still doing less than 2 hrs. I mean at Nursery she was attending 5 hours, 5 days a week.

She can get distressed at school, and this will result in her self harm, i.e. banging her head against the wall/floor, attempts to hit/bite others, and she cries.

While all this is going on, she has a broken molar tooth, that requires extracting, the dentist tried his very best to remove this, but my daughter wouldn't stay still, despite 5 members of staff including myself tried to keep her still, the dentist has now referred her to local childrens dental specialist, so that this could be done under general anesthetic.

I highly suspect this tooth pain comes and goes, and this can be one of the reasons why her mood swings. Sadly because she can't communicate, and tell us.

The school have now asked myself and my partner to attend a meeting so that they can discuss our Daughter. I am scared, if they turn around and say we can't accommodate her and remove her from School, if they say that they have tried everything, can someone please help/advise me, thank you so much reading this.

Ask MN to move this to the SEN board. School may say they can’t meet her needs which from your description is true. Them being honest is helpful towards you finding a more suitable school for her.

Honestly op it doesn't sound like they can manage her needs, and your lovely girl deserves the best school for HER. Which I think you need to consider might be a special school. At least for now x

Sorry to hear your DD is struggling. I have two boys with ASD who were non verbal and in nappies at that age.

On the dentist, I am really surprised they attempted that without GA- both mine have seen the specialist dentist and had GA once for fillings, so it's good that your DD will be able to have this.

Both of mine went to mainstream nursery but are in more specialist school placements. They love school and are making good progress with speech etc. Obviously you can stick with mainstream but have you looked at other options? My eldest is at an enhanced resource mainstream school which has been brilliant.

When is your daughter 5?

I agree with @Bobbybobbins that it would be a good idea to visit appropriate special s hooks in your area.

It sounds like she is becoming overwhelmed at school.

Hi

From what you have said it sounds like your daughter has quite high level needs that can't be supported in this environment. Who made the decision to send her there? Is there no specialist provision locally that might be more suitable?

I have a 14 year old non verbal daughter. She has autism and learning disabilities. She was diagnosed at 2.5 attended a mainstream nursery (but it was one of two local nursery who offered early placements - for children with ASN or from chaotic home environments) and then moved to our local school for children with severe and complex ASN. There were two other "options" for her - a special school for mild/moderate ASN but with a high proportion of emotional/social challenges or a mainstream school with an autism unit. Where she is is the right placement for her, despite our initial hopes she might have gone to the mainstream unit, she will be there 'til she is 18.

It is an illegal exclusion to send her home at 10:30. What plan do they have to integrate her?maybe they feel they cannot meet her needs but they can refuse her a place.

Turns 5 in January

It must be extremely upsetting knowing how much your DD is struggling it may seem scary but if the school can't accommodate her needs, it is best for her if they are honest about that. This will enable you to find a school where your daughter does not get that frustrated or overwhelmed that she self harms but can be in an environment where she can have her needs properly met.

Hi OP

Firstly, the school system can be very difficult to negotiate if you have a child with SEN and school aren't always acting in her or your best interests.

Did she go to pre-school at all?

If she is non-verbal there are other methods of communication - many children use Makaton which is a simple sign language similar to the baby signing which is taught in classes.

PECS is also a possibility - so for example she has a set of pictures - of a toilet, of a drink, of a snack, and you use the pictures to link to the item and with enough repetitions she will be able to use the pictures to ask for drink, etc

Legally school have to take her full-time 5 days a week and if they send her home (exclude her in the jargon) they have to document that. The more times they exclude her the more obvious it is that they are not meeting her needs and the more likely you are to get a special school place if you want one.

I'd suggest asking the school if they can work on Makaton or PECS with her.

The issue of her coming home at 10:30 is more complicated. If you say that you won't take her home without exclusion paperwork (which you are legally entitled to do) they may keep her but she may get very distressed and self harm or be violent towards others. That's your call.

If the school say they cannot meet her needs and they are prepared to say this to the LA then she stays there until the LA find you a new school.

Essentially the school only have a few ways of asking a student not to come in - temporary exclusion which should come with paperwork, and permanent exclusion, in which case the local authority have to find you a new school.

If they don't give you a new school asap you are entitled to home tutoring for your child (I think once 15 days of passed with her out of school).

You might find SoSSEN helpful.

Thank you very much for your replies everyone, as you can imagine it's driving my stress levels.

Ultimately it's the best interests for my daughter, and if the school aren't able to provide this to her, which I can understand as they have other students too, it's either a special school or I may opt to home school, I'll have to explore this a little further 😟

Yes, it's probably the school setting, its more formal, unlike at Nursery she was happy most of the times.

Hello

Yes she went a main stream Nursery, she was happy most of the times, she also received additional support from the nursery during her time there, and she settled in quite well.

Thank you, I'll definitely bring up Makaton and PECS, in our forthcoming meeting with the school.

The risk of refusing to take my daughter home, is that she will get upset, become distressed and hurt herself, it's something I can't afford to do, but I understand your thought process.

Thanks for sign posting me to SoSSEN, this looks very useful and
helpful.