Nanny question

[FFF3]

Hi there - we have a nanny who only started three weeks ago. She seems competent etc, and is familiar with the area. As a result she has some local nanny friends, which is great as I like my kids to socialise and I know it makes her job more enjoyable.

That said, we had a situation last week that I’m not comfortable with, and I just want to sense check that it’s not the norm? I was working from home, and her nanny friend came over with her charge. I then realised the nanny had left a few mins later, without the little boy. It transpires that the other nanny needed to go to a local shop to sort out an issue with her phone, so our nanny agreed to look after the little boy.

I think from that child’s parents perspective, they had no idea who their child had been left with while the nanny carried out her personal errands in the day. It also could have compromised the care of my little one in some way (it didn’t, but I don’t think that’s quite the point). I would also be worried she’d drop my kids with other of her friends etc!

Overall it didn’t sit right with me at all - and I said to her that I didn’t want it to happen again in the future. Was I being unreasonable, or is this a huge nanny no-no?

Many thanks

I have a rule with my fab nanny that she can't leave the children with other people (other than possibly going to the toilet when out with a group). In practice she has done it on pre agreed occasions, eg they've had a play date at someone's house and she has needed to go and pick my other child up. She will always ask I'm advance though if it's ok.

I wouldn't feel strongly if another nanny left their child at my house though if it was a one off and for a short period of time. Again, she asks me in advance if she wants to invite anyone over as a courtesy.

What might make the difference though is I've known my nanny for years and years and I know she turns down invites out in the holidays if she thinks my children wouldn't enjoy them. She does not just follow where her friends are going with their charges.

Do you know that the other parents didn't know your nanny or that their child was left with her?

Personally this seems like not a big deal to me - the nanny got her errand done and probably thought her charge would rather play with with his friend than come along, she sorted out the problem without needing her employers to take time off work. I can't see how it would compromise the care of the other child.

However, if you wouldn't want your child left with another nanny in similar circumstances (or not without checking with you) then that is absolutely fine too and I'm sure your nanny will be happy to comply.

Do you Trust your nanny and who she sees

Maybe nanny said to her mb I'm going to sort phone out while charge is playing with my friends child

If you aren't happy with her friend doing that with her child - fair enough but not your call really

Yes maybe your nanny should have said abc is just going to shop to sort phone out

But equally you are meant to be working and nanny happy to help and prob didn't see the issue

But say to nanny you don't want her to do that

But I think it is my call isn’t it, if the nanny is dropping the charge at my house? I’m paying my nanny to look after my kids, not someone else’s. There hasn’t been any agreement for her to take on another child (which could potentially compromise the care of mine) - and I haven’t agreed to have them to my house?

Your concern about your child's little friend compromising care is a bit unusual and not something your nanny could predict.
But now she knows your feelings on the matter, she will know not to do it again.

Did the children play nicely ? Sounds like they did

Was it any hassle to you ? No

Your nanny was helping a friend out

That's what nannies do. Help each other out

Your nanny will never leave your child with another nanny - if she knows that then Will be fine

Hi, I was a nanny for 15 years and am now a mother of teenagers and still work in early years. I think that your nanny should have asked would you mind before she helped out her friend, unless it was an emergency. However, as a nanny there is no lunch break to do a quick errand or attend a medical appointment so in my experience it’s really lovely for the children to have a little play and the Nannie’s get to help each other out. My nanny bosses were always fine with this as it worked in their favour too. If your nanny is fab it may be best not to rock the boat too much but just ask her to run it by you first next time xx