My night routine after 4 year old wets bed

[EastMidsGuy]

So.. We have been 'night time toilet training' our newly turned 5 boy over the past 9 - 12 months..

We have progressed to 'no nappy' and an understanding that when the urge to pee occurs in the night, we must get out of bed and go to toilet..

Pretty straight forward.. However, throughout the night time toilet training, there have been accidents, as you would expect..

This is where myself and partner differ - to the point where she has posted the details to her friends for a second opinion.. Apparently.. ALL agree with my partner that I have a 'issue' and my reaction isn't considered 'normal'..

I have been woken by our boy at 2am - 4am on multiple occasions.. He is wet with urine and so his is bedding..

I remove the bedding to wash, place down a towel or similar over the wee patch and take him to the bathroom to use the toilet..

After this I stand him in the shower and quickly wash him down with warm water - from his naval downwards (sometimes the wee has soaked upto his chest).

I then dry him, place another nappy on or / and clean clothing and return him to bed.. This whole process of taking my child to the bathroom and returning him to bed is approx 5 mins..

I had no idea this wasn't helping and was deemed 'unusual'.. I have asked my partner what I should be doing instead - her response is ''place the towel onto the bed as usual and just change his clothing.. It's only wee' '..

I know for a fact, after these events when I'm not involved, (my partner has got up in the night) my partner doesn't shower him in the morning.. So his body won't be washed until at least the following evening before bed..

I'm now confused.. Yes, it's only wee.. when he used to fill his nappy (wet wipe and quick nappy change).

When he has wet himself and the bed, I'm not sure 'how' I should be tackling the situation.. My partner insists that all her friends think it's overkill..

What should I have been doing instead?

Many thanks...

The shower is overkill BUT I would be showering my child in the morning without fail. Sending them to school nursery whatever with urine on their skin is grim.

I echo the back in pull ups, bed time pants.

My DS was 8 before he was dry, my older DS was about 4 - both daytime dry by 3, but nighttime varies so much.

Its hormones not training, so save the energy

This was my grandson. The GP said that the hormone just hadn't kicked in yet so to keep up with the pull ups. He's dry now so it will happen for the OP

We do a quick wipe with a warm facecloth and soap then shower in the morning.

I'd go for pull ups for a while then try again in a few months.

Make up bed with layers as pp said, so you just strip and then you have a bed made up underneath.

It's not in his control, no harm in trying again early next year.

Some posters have been harsh, I think you're just doing your best!

and yes to shower in the morning...

Just adding support to what nearly everyone else has said. He clearly isn't ready. Just stick him back in a nappy at bedtime.

But in the current situation I think showering in the middle of the night is OTT too. It can wait till morning. Getting everyone back to sleep asap would be my priority.

You can't 'nighttime toilet train'. It's hormone driven. He will be dry at night when his body starts producing the right hormone. Could be next week, could be next year, could be when he's 10 years old or more!

Go back to pullups and stop putting him, and yourselves, through this stress. You will damage his self-esteem in the long run.

You can't train for night time dryness a hormone has to kick in. I'd suggest pull ups for the time being and do it when he's ready

I am the partner... don't be alarmed :-) I 100% agree with you! My partner hasn't been 100% correct in his description. He has missed out that I do wipe down our DS if he is wet but I do so swiftly and with no fuss with a warm wet flannel or wipes if handy. This means my partner doesn't hear/wake as opposed to the shower which has many times resulted in our DS crying.

Do you shower him in the morning?

Excellent advice. We did this.

A good tip for the quilt is to buy those adhesive dry nite pads and stick them on the underside of the duvet where it comes into contact with his body. That way you just peel off the wet pad and the duvet is still clean and dry.

I also agree with this. Use pull ups. Unless there is a temporary psychological reason why he isn;t dry then the most common reason is: his body didn't start producing the necessary hormone in his early years and it likely won't be triggered until the onset of puberty which could be as young as eight or as late as mid teens.

Your wife is right - Shower at night is overkill.its also going to wake your child up a lot more Vs the alternatives.

It's fine not to shower in the night IF he's showering in the morning. Otherwise he's stinky pee boy at school.

However if this is happening often enough for it to be this big a discussion, he's not ready. It's a hormone thing. Put him in pull ups, encourage him to get up when he needs to but keep him in pull ups for now

Reward for dry bed? How ridiculous that's just so wrong.
He's only 5 bless him. I could literally cry for him.
I'm an NNEB.. Clearly he's not ready. Some children take up to age 10 to produce the Anti-diuretic hormone.. just like it decreases again with old age and many elderly people have bladder function problems.
Put him back in night time pull ups. Try again every 3 to 6 months .. if after five nights he's still not dry.. back to pull ups.Poor love having a shower when he's been asleep and warm and comfy in bed.. think you nerd to talk to your health visitor/ read parenting books and educate yourself.

Yes he's either flannel washed at night straight away or showered in the morning

Absolutely no showering in the middle of the night. Geez. But then I realised that both my boys simply weren't ready and were in nighttime nappies until nearly 7. Once they started having dry nappies in the morning off they came and we were away - no wet sheets. They’re both unharmed from wearing nappies for ao long and now doing well at senior school! As per pp it wasn’t “training” that was needed, they did not have sufficient vasopressin.

We normally wipe rather than shower but it depends how much of them is wet - if it's all down their legs and up to their chest a shower is probably quicker and warmer than wiping everywhere!

Ffs just put a nappy on him! He's clearly not ready. Poor kid.