My night routine after 4 year old wets bed

[EastMidsGuy]

So.. We have been 'night time toilet training' our newly turned 5 boy over the past 9 - 12 months..

We have progressed to 'no nappy' and an understanding that when the urge to pee occurs in the night, we must get out of bed and go to toilet..

Pretty straight forward.. However, throughout the night time toilet training, there have been accidents, as you would expect..

This is where myself and partner differ - to the point where she has posted the details to her friends for a second opinion.. Apparently.. ALL agree with my partner that I have a 'issue' and my reaction isn't considered 'normal'..

I have been woken by our boy at 2am - 4am on multiple occasions.. He is wet with urine and so his is bedding..

I remove the bedding to wash, place down a towel or similar over the wee patch and take him to the bathroom to use the toilet..

After this I stand him in the shower and quickly wash him down with warm water - from his naval downwards (sometimes the wee has soaked upto his chest).

I then dry him, place another nappy on or / and clean clothing and return him to bed.. This whole process of taking my child to the bathroom and returning him to bed is approx 5 mins..

I had no idea this wasn't helping and was deemed 'unusual'.. I have asked my partner what I should be doing instead - her response is ''place the towel onto the bed as usual and just change his clothing.. It's only wee' '..

I know for a fact, after these events when I'm not involved, (my partner has got up in the night) my partner doesn't shower him in the morning.. So his body won't be washed until at least the following evening before bed..

I'm now confused.. Yes, it's only wee.. when he used to fill his nappy (wet wipe and quick nappy change).

When he has wet himself and the bed, I'm not sure 'how' I should be tackling the situation.. My partner insists that all her friends think it's overkill..

What should I have been doing instead?

Many thanks...

I used to wipe down with baby wipes rather than a shower in the night

I have a bed wetter. I wouldn't shower them down, a quick wipe with some wipes is fine until the morning.

100% strip the bed though. Here's a tip I learned on here

Layer the bed like this

Mattress
Plastic mattress protector
Normal protector
Sheet
2nd Plastic mattress protector
2nd Normal protector
2nd Sheet

Then if he has an accident you only have to strip the first 3 layers. No need for a towel and child can get straight back in bed.

Sometimes my son wets the quilt, I have a spare quilt ready with a sheet on to swap over

If he's still regularly wetting at night I'd be inclined to put him back in pull-ups for a bit. Night-time dryness isn't really something that can be taught, it generally happens when they're developmentally ready and any time up to 7 years old is considered normal.

I certainly wouldn’t be showering in the middle of the night! No chance.

Quick wipe down with a baby wipe and straight back to bed. I shower him in the morning.

You can't train for night time dryness. It's hormone driven.

Clean sheets for sure.

Shower either then or following morning.

But if it's more than occasional wetting, I'd go back to nighttime nappies/PJ pants.

Poor kid, wetting the bed then getting a middle of the night shower. I wouldn’t do more than a wet wipe and do a full shower in the morning if necessary.

Am I missing why he’s not just wearing a pull up from the start of the night though? Night time dryness is hormonal, can’t be trained, 5 is still really quite normal to not be there yet, later end of normal but still normal nevertheless since the average is 4. If you’ve been at it for 9-12 months and it’s still resulting in it being a regular enough thing to warrant this disagreement then clearly you haven’t progressed to ‘no nappy’ or indeed anything at all, he isn’t ready because he’s not producing the hormone. Just stop it, buy some dry nights and let everyone get a good night’s sleep.

Nobody needs to be showering in the middle of the night, just change his clothes and save the shower till morning. I agree with others that it doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be without a nappy/ pull-up if he is regularly having accidents.

If the accidents are happening a lot then he's not ready. Put him back in a pull up and try again in a few months or when he regularly has a dry morning nappy.

Just put him in pull ups, you can’t ‘train’ nighttime dryness. Everyone will be happier.

once he’s dry every night for 3/4 weeks then stop them again

I'm with you op I'd give them a quick warm shower too but that said I'm seen by my partner to be a bit obsessive, I shower every morning, every night before bed and used to shower in the middle of the night when I was having night sweats. I don't like the dirty feeling. I'd also have to clean the mattress that night before putting down a towel.

Im just starting this with my 5 year old. The advice I was given is…
No nappy pants when they go to bed.
At my bedtime get them up for a quick wee, put on nappy pants as they usually do a big wee in the early hours.
Reward if they wake up with dry nappy pants.
It’s early days, they’ve been dry for the evening phase but nappy pants are still always wet on the morning.

I wouldn't do rewards for a dry morning nappy as they can't control what they are doing in their sleep.

They need to make a hormone that reduces urine production overnight plus be able to wake due to having a full bladder. If these aren't happening then they will continue being wet at night.

Another vote for pull ups. You’ll know he’s “night trained” when he consistently wakes up with a dry one.

He's clearly not producing enough of the hormone.

You need to stop the training and put him on a nappy. He just isn't ready, it's as simple as that.

The only time mine have had a bath in the night is when they’ve been sick everywhere.
Never ever ever for a wee. How unsettling for the child. You need to put him back in nappies until he’s consistently dry at night

There is no such thing as “night time training” you can’t train their bladder at night, that is solely dependent on hormone production which in some children won’t happen until 7 or above.
This child sounds like they should in pull ups at night.

One of ours used to at that age. We kept fresh bedding including waterproof mattress protector and coverless duvet waiting ready under the bed. Quick scoot into the shower. Pick up the entire lot off the bed, put into the laundry room and remake the bed. Scoot back to bed. It didn't take more than 10 mins and completely clean and into bed with a 2 min story. Some children's bladder/brain connection takes longer than others but do go to the GP if it's consistent or frequent. Just don't make an issue of it. ❤️

@EastMidsGuy your DS simply isn’t ready; night time dryness is not about ‘training’ it’s about a hormone that needs to kick in. Night time dryness has no correlation with how bright or not a child is. Why not save the agonies of the sleep deprivation and put your DS in pull-ups or nappies? Also, a good trick is to make up the bed so you have a few layers ie sheet/waterproof mattress protector, then sheet/waterproof mattress protector - so that if there’s an accident in the middle of the night, you can whip off the wet sheet and protector and you still have a freshly made - and dry - bed underneath.

You can't punish/reward a child for something they have no control over! Who gave you that advice?! It's terrible.

It'd be like rewarding him if he doesn't sneeze/punishing him if he sneezes. Absolutely ridiculous.

OP I would do what your son prefers. If he likes the shower, stick with it. If he prefers just a quick wipe down, then do that.

I would give him a shower in the morning though.

And as everyone else has said, you can't nighttime train. It's hormonal. Just wait until he's ready and save everyone the sleepless nights.

I 'night trained' DS by keeping him in a nappy until he was reliably (ie at least a month) dry throughout the night. You can't train it. They do it in their own time.

I have a 3 year old so slightly different but I get him up at 11:30 to go for a wee while he's half asleep, then he's dry until the morning! I do however have a waterproof mattress protector then layer puppy training pads then his normal bed sheet, so if any accidents I can bin the pads and change the top sheet. Xx

There's no such thing as 'night time toilet training' you can't learn it, it's a hormone. He's not making the hormone yet.

You need to put him in pull ups until he's consistently dry overnight. At the moment it's consistently disrupting everyone for no reason. He's not learning anything, he's just waking up wet.

I wouldn't be showering him in the night, I'd use wipes. But I would definitely be popping him in the shower the next morning. To leave him all day with dried on wee all over him like she does is minging.

Look on the ERIC website. It’s hormonal and you will be saving everyone angst if you go back to pull ups for a while.
my DTs took until 7 to be dry at night. Totally different hormone system that kicks in to stop urine production at night. If it’s not there it’s not there…: