cm club_ how do you tell a mother you suspect her child has autisum???

[dmo]

i have tried to raise the subject before as i have concerns their is something not quite right, but mum got upset and said x was just shy that he knows his ABC and numbers etc etc
i have never heard x say more than 2 words in 2yrs he will be 3 in may.
after looking around i looked at autisum but dismissed it but then today somebody asked if he was autistic (another cm who has seen him twice a week for 2 yrs) we dissucused what he was like as a baby and she told me about a boy who she had in her care who was autistic and it sounds simier.
we are not doctors so we cant say for sure but how do i tell mum??? or should i tell her at all??

Jesus god don't suggest to the mother that the child hasn't bonded with her. I was blamed for ds1 not talking when he was 2. I no longer get blamed now he's 9 and not talking. It's not remotely helpful and I think would be very dodgy keeping notes along those lines.

UNless you have concerns about the mother then I would suggest that a developmental delay/disorder is far more likely. Especially when there is a delay in speech.

Yes, yurt1, as I said, not saying knowing abc's is a sign, that nothing is wrong, just saying that dmo might not be seeing whole picture.

Having said that, if dmo has known this child for 2 years, and the child is not happy/able to say more than a couple of words in her company at almost 3, it is concerning - one of the advantages of going to a CM is continuity of care with one adult - not like a nursery where a child could be 'shy' because of adapting to changing staff/new rooms and new room leaders having to get to know new children.

yes yurt I am very at the suggestion that parental neglect/lack of bonding is behind the problems. In terms of knowing the abc - with kids with ASD type problems, systems like shapes/colours/numbers/letters can be of appeal to them, and so come quite easily to them, in a way that communicative speech doesn't isywim. E.g DS knew colours, shapes etc at around 24 months but couldn't put the most basic 3 word sentence together will he was 3.5.

its deff not a lack of bonding both mother and son are very close (maybe to close cotton wool wrap type)
i will take your suggestions on board i have decided not to say anything just yet until maybe christmas when i have been educationg him for a couple of months with paperwork to back me up
the little boy comes to me 3 times a week