Weekend babysitting

ClinkyWotsit · 2023-11-08T09:15:43+00:00

DH and I have a wedding to attend in early 2024, and a 3 yo DD who is not invited (it’s not a childfree wedding, just a “no children on the bride’s side” wedding). We don’t have any family childcare options for various reasons so my current plan is to ask one of DD’s nursery teachers (who already offer evening babysitting) if anyone would be willing to travel to look after DD on Saturday and Sunday morning (I’ve already been instructed there will be tasks to be done to help the bride & groom on Sunday morning). We’d pay for petrol, accommodation, food and any other expenses but just keen to get ideas of how much to offer for their time? I was initially thinking £18 per hour for 12 hours on Saturday and 6 hours on Sunday which would come to about £325 (it would be more like 10am -8pm on Saturday and helping out with breakfast, keeping DD entertained on Sunday morning til about 10am). Does this sound OK, to compensate for their time but also the inconvenience of giving up most of a weekend? Just to add, we’re in SW London where FT nursery fees are £2k a month.

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justjeansandanicetop · 08/11/2023 11:31

Depends how much you want to go.

From the way you've worded it, you think the bride and groom are being unreasonable and I don't particularly disagree.

£325 is a lot of money to spend on babysitting for a wedding; I would think it would be a decent amount for a babysitter but I'm not in London.

But not going is an option.

justjeansandanicetop · 08/11/2023 11:34

Posted too soon.

I also don't have much childcare.

If kids were invited to a wedding, but not my kids, I probably wouldn't go.

User13579367337 · 08/11/2023 11:37

Do you really want to go? Why is the groom allowed children and the bride isn’t?

jesshomeEd · 08/11/2023 16:19

Somewhere between £250 and £350 is common per 24 hour care so you're in that zone.

jesshomeEd · 08/11/2023 16:20

I'd think it would be better to leave your DD at home with the babysitter rather than take them both though.

Original poster

ClinkyWotsit · 09/11/2023 09:52

To answer the question about why we’re going at all, I’m a bridesmaid and DH is an usher. Bride is actively anti-child and I think she might be subconsciously making a “point” that she’s not having kids at her wedding. The groom is far more laid back, I think he’d be fine with someone bringing an emotional support pony along if they wanted to, also he’s Australian so it’s one thing to say leave your kids at home when you live locally, but another thing entirely when you’re expecting family to fly across the world.

We were already a number of months down the wedding planning pathway before the bride said DD wouldn’t be coming so it feels a bit like a rock and a hard place - if we were wedding guests, one or other of us wouldn’t attend but it feels too late to pull out of wedding party duties now.

In terms of babysitting at home vs. near the venue, we’re expected to join the bride & groom the night before for dinner - DD can come to this as its informal so if she stayed at home, that means she’d need a babysitter from Friday afternoon to Sunday lunchtime, including two overnights, which feels quite a long childcare shift for someone as well as for DD. She’s only 3. Shifting it to near the venue (about 1.5 hours drive) means we’d only need cover on the day of the wedding and a couple of hours the morning after.

OP posts:

Snugglemonkey · 09/11/2023 11:39

ClinkyWotsit · 09/11/2023 09:52

To answer the question about why we’re going at all, I’m a bridesmaid and DH is an usher. Bride is actively anti-child and I think she might be subconsciously making a “point” that she’s not having kids at her wedding. The groom is far more laid back, I think he’d be fine with someone bringing an emotional support pony along if they wanted to, also he’s Australian so it’s one thing to say leave your kids at home when you live locally, but another thing entirely when you’re expecting family to fly across the world.

We were already a number of months down the wedding planning pathway before the bride said DD wouldn’t be coming so it feels a bit like a rock and a hard place - if we were wedding guests, one or other of us wouldn’t attend but it feels too late to pull out of wedding party duties now.

In terms of babysitting at home vs. near the venue, we’re expected to join the bride & groom the night before for dinner - DD can come to this as its informal so if she stayed at home, that means she’d need a babysitter from Friday afternoon to Sunday lunchtime, including two overnights, which feels quite a long childcare shift for someone as well as for DD. She’s only 3. Shifting it to near the venue (about 1.5 hours drive) means we’d only need cover on the day of the wedding and a couple of hours the morning after.

I think it is entirely appropriate to pull out now that you know dd cannot come. I definitely would.