Almost 9mo unsettled at childminder

[angelpie33]

I'm worried about my almost 9 month old daughter who seems to be struggling at the childminder. She had three 2-hour settling-in sessions which went fairly well (with a small amount of crying at the end), but has started full days this week and is really having trouble settling. She is refusing to take expressed milk, not eating very much and crying lots. I had to pick her up early on the first day.

There is only one other child and it is a fairly quiet, calm environment. She will be attending 3 days per week 8am-5pm. My daughter seems perfectly comfortable with the childminder (smiles at her, is happy to be held by her etc.) but really seems to be struggling with separating from me.

Any wisdom or experience would be much appreciated, as I am really concerned about when/whether she will settle, especially as I am returning to work shortly.

It can take a while. 9 months is a tricky age for crying when away from mum.

Can you do some more shorter settling in sessions? 4 or 5 days a week for a couple of hours would probably be more beneficial than 1 full day for your child to understand you go away for a while but then come back.

@Lindy2 She did do the shorter settling in sessions recently as I say but as I am back at work next week I don't really have time for any more. I was hoping that having the 'dry run' this week while I'm not actually working would help her adapt to the full days but not quite worked out!

Childminder of 27 years here.
I would expect a child of 9/10 months to take a few weeks to settle and bond with new caregiver. They usually take longer than a younger baby to adjust. Hold in there and persevere. Good luck xx

Our settling in period with the childminder was ‘up to 6 weeks’ with either party able to end the arrangement during thy period. I was rally afraid DC wouldn’t settle but did eventually. One week is no time at all to settle a baby who has been used to being with their mum. I had planned for 3 weeks and it all went tits up and I had to juggle work and settling in sessions and breastfeeding at lunchtime for a few weeks but it all worked out well in the end. Good luck!

When I was a childminder I had a six week settling in policy where less or different hours could be done to achieve a good bond.

9m is a difficult age for separation do you have any family or a dp who could fo earlier pick ups for first couple weeks. It will hopefully only take a few weeks to settle.

It took ds a good few weeks to settle and he was unhappy- but once he had adjusted he built the most incredible bond and it was honestly the best thing we did. Does the childminder take them out and about, maybe even to toddler groups he’s been to before? That is often a good distraction to help rather than staying in all day?