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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny announced she is leaving giving me 5 weeks notice

23 replies

boysandmoreboys · 08/03/2008 21:54

I'm feeling very let down as our adored nanny has announced she is leaving (she wants a change of career) and she has given me 5 weeks notice and is completely inflexible. She has also (3 weeks ago) just come back from a 3 week holiday which we gave her even though it was term time and incredibly inconvenient for us. We really trusted her, she's been with us nearly 3 years and I feel has shown such a lack of consideration for either us or the children. I'm away next week on work in a different time zone so can't even talk to agencies. am i being unreasonable? just feel like i've been taken for a ride which is awful when we thought she was a really trusted member of the family.

OP posts:

Smamfa · 08/03/2008 21:55

YANBU - But next time make the notice period get longer as the length of service increases. But if they want to walk away there's not a lot you can do about it.

Desiderata · 08/03/2008 21:56

I hope you're joking.

nannyL · 08/03/2008 21:57

if you gave YOUR boss 5 weeks notice would you consider yourself unreasonable?

The legal minimum notice she has to give you is 3 weeks (1 week per whole year employed by you)... although you probably have 4 weeks notice in your contract?

OR do you have 5 weeks?

She is being completely resonable....

If you realised you didnt need her any more and gave her the notice required in her contract woudl you consider yourself unreasonable?

Sorry if it sounds harsh but no i dont think 5 weeks in unreasonable and it is a completely normal amount of notice for an employer to expect to recieve from an employee

pooka · 08/03/2008 21:59

5 weeks notice seems more than reasonable to me. What did you have in the contract?

RahRahRachel · 08/03/2008 22:02

How long is the notice period outlined in her contract? 5 weeks seems pretty reasonable to me.

I know the nanny-family relationship seems more personal than a normal employee-employer relationship but at the end of the day it is a job. It's not really her responsibility to look after you and your children's interests.

Smamfa · 08/03/2008 22:03

Yes I would. My contract has 13 weeks. I've been on 6 months before now. It's unusual to be held to the full term.

Whooosh · 08/03/2008 22:18

Is she live-in?
The only reason I ask is that the relationship is often very different with a live-in.
Rgeardless of notice in a contract,after three years I would be very disappointed/sad to be presented with this situation.
I am fortunate to only have had 2 nannies,the first gave me 4 months notice (wanted to train as a nurse) and our current nanny announced in Jan she wanted to leave in September.
I think,regardless of contract,it really does come down to the strength of relationship you have with your nanny,how much part of the family they feel and also how valued/appreciated they feel.

Legally she has more than met her responsibilities but after 3yrs(of presumably a harmonious relationship) I would feel a bit sore.
I wish you luck,finding a new nanny in 5 weeks when you work full time is a tall order.......

bigdonna · 09/03/2008 10:49

sounds to me like you are upset that shes leaving,after three years she could have given you a little more notice.most nannies only stay a year.could you ask her to stay an extra couple of weeks.you never know you might find another nanny who wants to start asap.i was a nanny for 16yrs,i still see kids i nannied for,i was with thwm for 8yrs the eldest is now 23 yrs.

HarrietTheSpy · 09/03/2008 12:32

I agree that legally she has done nothing wrong. But you can't compare a nanny to an employee in a mid size or large company, where there are other employees who could cover for her job during hte recruitment process. Because of the nature of the job, which is that she is the only person doing the work, and the time it can take to replace someone, five weeks isn't that much time. The situation is much more similar to a small company where one employee going could create a big problem. I guess many nannies wouldn't agree to longer notice periods but I can see why you're panicking. And the reality is, with a nanny you want to give notice to, a longer notice period in the contract would be a disaster, so it swings in round abouts.

One thing I wouldn't do is agree to more than two weeks off during term time. But I guess you probably made the exception because she's been a great employee.

Sorry, I know it must stink. I had to recruit someone in two weeks and it is possible - you might really get lucky.

Scattybird · 09/03/2008 12:40

I take it she is young, so 5 weeks is fine really, more than that is a lifetime in a young Nannys life. Any other Job she may have applied for will want her to start within that sort of time frame. I guess you are disappointed more than unreasonable as finding a good Nanny is really valuable. Good luck with finding a new one.

WanderingTrooley · 09/03/2008 12:49

How much notice is she obliged to give you, according to her contract?

vInTaGeVioLeT · 09/03/2008 13:46

i think she is entitled to leave and persue a different career
5 weeks seems like a very reasonable notice period to me
y a b u to feel she has taken you for a ride she has given 3 years service - you called her your adored nanny in the op - if she is truely adored let her go without making her feel guilty about leaving.

it sounds to me that you are just pissed off that it has inconvienienced you

colditz · 09/03/2008 14:05

She is allowed to leave! She is the nanny, not their father, you have no right to make her feel guilty for wanting to leave. 5 weeks notice is plenty!

I think this is a big problem with nannies - in that you want them to be a member of the family so much that you forget that they have rights as your employees, and do not have an obligation to your children beyond that which they are paid for.

If you trusted her - good. Presumably she has been a good nanny. She now doesn't want to be your nanny any more - she has signalled the wish to end an employment contract, not a relationship!

mumnannymum · 10/03/2008 10:54

I can imagine how you feel. Panicked, worried and feeling like you will never get it sorted. I am a nanny (so think 5 weeks is very reasonable) and a mum who employs someone to mind my children after school. I have been lucky with the girls I have had. We keep in contact with them all. But when they call me at work and say they are unable to collect later in the day I panic and think what the hell am I supposed to do but stop myself saying anything to nanny - as we all get sick etc and at the end of the day they are my children so therefore my problem. Being a nanny is a very personal career and because of this we are expected to make our job our life.
boysandmoreboys where do you live. Do you have a good agency you can trust? Ask around because someone always knows someone etc. And it might pay to have a back up plan just incase you don't get it sorted in time. Who looked after the children while nanny was away?
Anyway I can see your point of view but as a nanny think she is being reasonable. Good luck - hope you find a suitable nanny soon.

PrincessPeaHead · 10/03/2008 10:59

She has given you three good years, and now wants a change, and you are objecting about being given a nice long 5 weeks notice?

Stop being so self-pitying, woman. Get out there, start looking, tell your nanny that she is fabulous and impossible to match but if she could help you give the once over to potential nannies you'd be very grateful because you value her opinion and judgement.

Then find a nanny, arrange a handover, give your old nanny a nice bonus cheque and some sweet keepsakes made by the kids and GET ON WITH IT.

To be blunt.

BeauLocks · 10/03/2008 11:03

I would suggest that you take PPH's extremely wise advice, otherwise you will sour the relationship between you and your nanny for the next 5 weeks.

She's leaving. Don't take it so personally.

Squiffy · 11/03/2008 10:13

Everything PPH says. YABTU

Bink · 11/03/2008 10:26

I wondered whether this was a first-time-poster wind-up. Now I see it is someone blowing off steam - at least in part deriving from the notice coming so straight after the holiday. (But don't you think that actually makes sense? - in that her holiday will have given her time to think about where she wants to go in life? Which is, objectively, a good thing?)

You've both had a fantastic innings - nearly 3 years looks GREAT for both a nanny AND an employer. Don't spoil it now - swallow your steam as best you can (or let it off offline - this is a bit public) and be courteous.

And deal with the agencies by email - no problems with time zones there!

Bink · 11/03/2008 10:31

PS 5 weeks isn't such a very tall order if you (or your partner? - does it have to be you that does the search?) get onto it now. Reason being that the conventional notice period for nannies is, guess what, 4 weeks - so you've even got time to find someone who's in a job now.

jura · 11/03/2008 12:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friendlyedjit · 11/03/2008 12:25

We can all be unreasonable when upset. YABU but I understand entirely why. It's completely daunting sometimes trying to find the right childcare for DC, and then the following anxiety whether you have got it right or not.You moving from a place of feeling in control to being again out of control, which is horrid.
I think what I have found is that it is never as bad as it seems at the time. I've always found a positive eventually, and its a matter of taking a deep breath acknowledging loss of control and getting on with it.
Best of luck..

Ebb · 11/03/2008 19:32

When I've chosen to leave jobs, I've always given 3months notice but when I was made redundant in one job they only gave me 3weeks notice and then got stroppy when I found a job that started 2 weeks later. I didn't feel guilty about leaving! However if I had enjoyed the job and was moving for a career change then I like to give employers enough time to find someone who will be as good as me which obviously takes time and I like to be able to do a hand over with the new nanny to make sure everything goes smoothly. My current employers of 3years are lucky cos I;m pregnant so they're had 5months notice!!!

Original poster

boysandmoreboys · 16/03/2008 21:18

Thanks everyone. have been very nice to nanny and am now calming down.

OP posts:

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