Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Possible neglect?

3 replies

Nonym · 11/10/2023 10:50

I have a 12 month old i left with a family member, SIL. It is the 21 year old daughter is who did the looking after. she insisted she would. I gave her a list of times for baby’s eating, sleep and snacks. I noticed on both occasions she said she fell asleep with him.
She forgot to give him his milk or feed him, so essentially he had breakfast at 8 am and which he sis not eat then nothing until 2 or 3pm.
The first day i went back to work, i bought little one home and he wolfed down two meals in a space of 2 hours. He usually does not eat so fast.
Day 2 I bring him home and he is again wolfing down his food. She told me she forgot to feed him again, he played with the egg i left for him for breakfast, he ate a pot of petit flous yoghurt.
Anyway in the evening while i was feeding him, he keeled over and pooped out what looked like pebbles. I asked her at this point again exactly what he had eaten and drank. He had drank no milk nor had more than a quarter pot they said of his food pot. She slept with him from 12 noon until about 2.30.
Bare in mind he had not even eaten his breakfast as she told me. Whilst changing his nappy i saw his head that had a bruise. He falls whilst he is sat down, no foul play, however it would be nice to know that he had fallen.

Would it be incorrect of me to think that as a woman who had 5 children you would say ok this kid hasn't eaten, give him some milk at least?
Or maybe try be a bit more persistent in trying to feed him?

now after the two days of him wolfing down two meals and the constipation i stopped leaving him with them.

They are my husband’s relatives and he feels i have been harsh. They have called and asked why he has not come, which makes me feel guilty. I know they all love him, however ai felt the daughter who does the main looking after has a slight issue with following instructions.

Was i harsh? My husband said I have authority issues and she did not follow your exact rules so that bothered you. But it is really not the case, his pooping pebbles was worrying, he never had this before, him wolfing food down was concerning and not drinking was concerning.

however i feel as though maybe I am not grateful?
But another part of me has watched the 21 with her mum yanking her arm about whilst packing little ones bag, at the end of the day when i was picking him up. She showed quite an aggressive side which also made me feel slightly concerned.
what would you do?

i am currently searching for a nursery

i apologise for the appalling writing spelling and grammer, little one has thrown and slapped my phone many times.

OP posts:
Dowhadiddydiddydum · 11/10/2023 11:10

Of course you are right and should never leave baby with them again. Did the 21 year old actually want to look after the baby? How did that arrangement occur?

Id say there is something very wrong with your DH if he doesn’t consider your baby not being fed, having eaten pebbles and having bruises all over a couple of days ok. Why is he not concerned for his child’s safety?

your doing the right thing. Find a professional to look after him. Clearly these people are ok.

Did you take him to the Dr about the pebbles? That sounds scary!

Nonym · 11/10/2023 11:20

Hello thank you i felt like i was being cruel and ungrateful to them. He didn’t eat pebbles his pooh looked like pebbles from being severely constipated. See my husband made me feel so bad. He said i need to coach her! But she has an issue with being told what to do.
she wanted to look after him and she kept sending videos of him.
so between breakfast and lunch he has a snack at 10.30 like a bagel or piece of fruit. He loves bagel however then struggles with lunch. I asked her to give the fruit i left. However she did not give him the fruit, she gave him bagel.

he watches miss rachel so i asked her to put that on to create familiarity and reduce his anxiety and refused to do this. Each time she had ceebebies on. It just felt like it was her way or nothing. My hisband says im a control freak and im the one with authority issues. But im just looking out for my baby

OP posts:
HaveSomeIntrospect · 11/10/2023 21:22

Use registered childcare. They are obviously not looking after your child

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread