CM CLUB - advice needed for dealing with 12 month old's temper etc.....

[looneytune]

Hi everyone

This is the one I used to call double pay baby. I've had them since 8 weeks old and overcome other problems (i.e. you may remember the problem with sleeping as she'd only sleep if you rocked her, even if in a vibrating chair, she'd need to know that you were there gentle rocking it). She has a very strong character and likes to dictate and always has done. The rocking issue was sorted when I spoke to parents and we all decided no more rocking and when she came back 6 days later, she was perfect at going to sleep herself!

Anyway......had problems with her screaming if I move a muscle whilst on the floor at toddlers with her (as some of you know) and it has been a case of ignoring the attention seeking and rewarding the playing etc. and although she has been bad this week, she had got better and got the message VERY quickly

Latest problem has concerned me but I've now had an email from the mum asking for advice so I thought I'd come on here and see if you guys can help. This clever girl is basically turning into a proper toddler and going through that terrible 2's thing already (no flaming please, just used that as lots of people call it that and most people know what you mean when you say that). She's only just 12 months old and although she is so funny and adorable, she's got pretty violent and well, become a bit of a bully with the others. The mums words for something that she did this morning were... 'we then had hysterics and violent body bucking' - this body bucking I know very well. She hits and kicks a lot too - she kicked me very hard in the boob and tummy yesterday when I leant past her car seat once I'd got her in. Obviously I don't want this to continue as being pregnant, it all hurts even more She's very strong and sturdy and basically has a great big attitude and we're all unsure of the best way to deal with it.

So, any advice? I do look at her and say 'NO' when she does these things but not sure what else is appropriate for this age as never had this problem so young before.

TIA

I had a similar problem withy a mindee. The problem was though, that she was my friends child, and was allowed to get away with it at home, and therefore looked on my house as a second home and thought she could get away with it then as well. I used to do the "remove from the activity till she calmed down" routine. I told the parents this was what I was going to do - and she lay on my living room floor once for 25 minutes screaming and kicking. The reason for this was that I had 2 dolls, her sister was playing with one, and she had the other, but she wanted both. Another time, she was in teh double buggy with another mindee and she was slapping him across the face, she bit him once as well, adn one time when we were doing painting she threw a tub of paint over him. All this becasue she couldn't get her own way.
I think you need to get together with the mum and try and sort out some sort of way of dealing with it that you are both ahppy with. it may not be the OFSTED way, but if you are both ok with whatever method you choose then it should be ok. The problem I ahd was that the mother didn't continue with it when she got home

Thanks saltire, how are you?

I'll stick with what I'm doing then as my gut feeling was the removing from the situation and saying a firm NO when voilent.

I think the parents will do the same as I've now been asked for advice about it from the mum. The dad I think is always fine, mum has been more the one to rush when she cries etc. and not necessarily pick up on the difference between a 'needing' cry and an 'attention' cry iyswim however she's got much better recently and I really think we can all work together on this They are a lovely family, we just need to get this behaviour sorted before it gets out of hand.

So, I'll continue like I have been and see if the parents are happy with this. But if anyone has any other idea's/advice, please do share with me

Thanks