waiting until baby is born?

[skidoodle]

Hi,

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask questions about finding childcare or more a support forum for CMs and nannies but maybe someone can steer me to the right place if I've gone wrong.

I'm expecting a baby on Saturday and I've been trying to sort out childcare. I'm planning (for various reasons) to go back to work in July. This is a little earlier than I would choose in a perfect world but right now that's the plan.

I've been to see a nursery and it seems nice and they've offered me a place but want me to pay a deposit on that place now. I also want to explore the option of using a CM. TBH I think I sort of prefer that option as I sort of imagine it being nice to leave the baby with maybe an older, more experienced woman who has already had her own children. The girls in the nursery seemed really nice but they seemed so young. Not that that means they're not great at their jobs, so maybe I'm just being silly about that.

Anyway the CM's organisation for where I live has advised me not to even start looking for a CM until after the baby is born. I spoke to them again today and explained I was looking just for rates as I had a place in the nursery and needed to decide whether to take it. The woman I spoke to was very vehement that I shouldn't go ahead and pay a deposit for a place for a baby that wasn't born.

So any advice? Is it really unreasonable of the nursery to ask for a deposit upfront? They're telling me I have the last place for July so I will lose the place if I don't secure it. Is it better to wait until there is a real baby and I have some experience of actually being a mother to see what I want?

I feel totally out of my depth with this. The woman from the CM place seemed really nice but I was quite taken aback by how strongly she argued for waiting to make a decision. It made me wonder was I being taken for a fool by the nursery.

thanks for any help/advice you guys can give me.

deposits are a totally usual way to reserve a nursery place - they need to do this so they can look at their intake etc etc

I did it 3 months before DS was born as the popular nurseries get full quickly

i would reserve the place if it i were you

Try www.childcarelink.gov.uk for rates in your area and contact details for them. You are usually advised to wait by c/m is that things often change once a baby is born - but you can certainly start looking at childminders. I saw a few expectant mums but always advised them to phone after the baby is born so they know where they stand. I still met with them however, and they had a good idea about me too.

Sorry linked

thanks guys, that's helpful.

crace I'm in NI so childcarelink doesn't work for me but it seems similar to the organisation I was talking to today. The lady I spoke to today said it might be 3gbp per hour or so. TBH I'm less concerned about rates than I am about finding care I'm comfortable with. I do think I'd like to be able to meet some CMs and talk with them about how it would all go.

I guess I just haven't really done enough preparation to accept this place at the nursery. I need to think about this a little more.

I would meet some childminders and see if you can find 2 or 3 you like

Then go back & meet them once the baby is born - it is surprising how things change once you actually hold your little one

I wouldn't give the nursery any money until I met some childminders. And I would definitely go meet the childminders now. You want to know what your options will be. July is not that far away. (but then I am an anal retentive planner)

I know nurseries like to get deposits but truthfully I've known lots of people leave it until they were close to starting work and they've still found a nursery place and paid a deposit then. And I'm in London, and talked to friends looking for childcare in crazy Nappy Valley places where I think private nurseries do think they can get away with a lot. Sorry if I offend any nursery owners but £50 to tell you if they have any possible vacancies (not

I think eleusis's advice is good - don't give the nursery money now. But arranging to go and visit childminders as soon as you can is probably a good idea - if you do have your baby close to due date on Saturday it might well be a few weeks after the birth though - I went to visit childminders in October for starting work this month, but I took my baby with me - he was 5 months then, 10 months yesterday.

Hope all goes well.

I'm in the opposite camp. We have a choice of maybe 8 local nurseries where I live and I would not have let my DC's go to any of them except the one which inevitably had a waiting list an arm long. I had to pay a deposit in advance and there is no way I would have been able to get a place otherwise. They have turned out to be fabulous over the last 4 years - helping out when my nanny left suddenly, staying in touch, helping arrange playdates for their 'graduates' and so on. If the place feels right then I would pay the deposit.

But I accept that I am biased in favour of nurseries. I looked at CM's but never found anyone I instinctively gelled with. There are undoubtably great CM's around but I think you have to be really very lucky to find one with a vacancy who fits in with your requirements. I think your chances of striking gold are a bit more hit and miss with CM's than with nurseries, although I do believe that the best childminders will provide better care than the best nurseries.

Young girls in the nurseries always made me slightly nervous too, but they are all qualified or on work placements and I think they make up for in energy and enthusiasm what they lack in experience. My current nanny was a trainee at the nursery when my DS first went as a baby, and she is the best childcarer I have ever had.

One thing I have learnt through trial and error is that whilst you always hope to find that 'mary poppins' solution, realistically you almost always have to settle for the 'good-enough' option where you feel your child is safe, secure and happy, but maybe you have to jiggle your hours or the money a bit to fit it in. It can be very easy to get caught up in trying to find utopia when it comes to childcare, so don't beat yourself up trying to find the 100% perfect solution, stick with the important bits in terms of the solution you need.

I would wait til you've had the baby simply because you need to see how you feel once they are here.

I did sort out childcare before my DS1 was born and it turned out to be wrong for him and me and ended up costing me more money (and heartache) than I'd have liked.

Its great to be organised and on top of what is available, but don't rush in just yet. That's my advice, for what its worth.

Best of luck with the birth. I hope it goes swimmingly.

Oh, I didn't mean you should wait until the baby is born. I just meant go see childminders now and then make up your mind soon afterward whether you want the nursery or a childminder. If you give the nursery a deposit and then decide you prefer a childminder you may loose some or all of the deposit.

If I called a childminder and she couldn't be bothered to see me now, however, that would propbably send me packing.