No communication

[ariaknox]

Not sure if I'm in the right place
My son just started reception and 1 day he came home without touching his lunch at all so the next day I just asked his teacher if anyone tries to encourage him to eat or even to make sure he ate and she said that I was giving him too much food (even though irrelevant since he didn't even eat 1 bite) so I said okay and asked that they just make sure he knows he's needs to eat
And gave him less since then and he's been eating his whole lunch box fine
Today I opened his lunch box and the whole thing is swimming in vomit 🤢
None of the teachers mentioned anything I know the lunch ladies supervise them eating and not the teachers but I'd like to be informed if my child vomited up his whole meal
He's shy and quiet so probably didn't tell anything but he's just turned 4 and surely someone should of been watching him and told me what happened
Is this normal? The lack of communication between teachers and parent I'm finding quite difficult obviously nursery was super different
Just wanted to know if this is normal school behaviour or if I need to bring it up to the teachers again
Thanks

That's dreadful I hope you say something tomorrow! Poor lad.

My little girl has started reception and I agree the lack of communication is something Iv noticed too; I asked tonight how she was doing 'yes fine she has lovely handwriting compared to a lot of them' was the response 😂

Even on the app we were drilled into us to download there's only been one photo uploaded in 2.5 weeks. Maybe I'm expecting too much lol.

Exactly the same here
"Yeah he was fine today"
Then I'm hearing different things from him
It's definitely a hard adjustment that I wasn't prepared for and the app is useless as well

I thought I was being overprotective and clingy because I wait for the teacher to finish with everyone to ask her how he was so I calmed that down haha
But this vomit things has really annoyed me
I'll definitely speak with them tomorrow
Thank you for replying

Hope everything works out for you and your little one x

You don't get updates like you would from nursery etc.. this is in childcare but school just isn't the same. They'll ring you if there's a problem, otherwise unfortunately you just have to assume everything was OK. The sick thing yes I'd probably be ringing first thing in the morning or now to let them know...but it seems weird none of the other children were screaming if he was sick into his lunch box

@Zola1
He told me on the way home (before I discovered the lunch box of vomit) that he was choking on his food
I told him to take smaller bites and sip his water sort of brushing it off
But now I've noticed the vomit I'm more worried
If they didn't notice him vomit did they notice him choking?
And if someone did see him and helped him again why wasn't I told?
I feel like this is something I should be informed about

There will be, at best, 1 dinner lady for the whole class. That person will also be opening packages, dealing with upset children, cleaning up spills etc so is very unlikely to have time to monitor exactly what is being eaten and encourage them to eat more.

If they had seen him vomit, or if he had told them, I'm sure they would have communicated it to you.

I get that
I've spoke with him about it and his teacher
And like I said since then I've had no issues with his food

So your saying if they seen him choke and vomit they would of definitely told me.. which they didn't so they didn't notice a 4 year old choking to the point where he threw up his food? How is that acceptable?

I've also had a chat with my son and told him next time if he's chocking or is sick he needs to tell someone
And he said he would

Honestly there's zero chance a member of staff saw him vomit into his lunch box and decided not to bother doing anything about it.

More likely that in a very noisy and busy hall, another child needed attention at that point and the dinner lady was occupied when he gagged and vomitted.

You've put this under 'Childcare' when you might get more responses in 'Primary Education'.

@caban
I'm sorry I just don't find that acceptable that nobody noticed

Maybe cause he's my first kid in primary school I'm over reacting I don't know
But I just don't think it's acceptable

@QueenieMe
Thank you I'll try to move it

Of course, ideally someone would notice. I just know how busy and understaffed lunch times are in primary schools and how easily it would be to miss a quiet child who doesn't tell anyone something is wrong.

@caban
I understand that too
And I'm not gonna go in and kick off with everyone or throw a tantrum about it
I was just asking if anyone else thought it was normal and if I should speak to them about it tomorrow

My kids aren’t primary school age yet, but that doesn’t sound normal to me. Your poor son, how awful. Definitely speak to them about it tomorrow. The lack of updates compared to nursery must be unsettling at first but I hope things feel easier for you soon.

@Ponche
Thank you
I will have a chat with them tomorrow

Definitely let the teacher know what happened.

A 4 year old choking or vomiting should be noticed it's a serious safety concern

Has this happened before OP with the vomiting up food?
Sorry to hear this happened x

@NurseryNurse10
No never

I'm not at all surprised OP. I don't think schools have safe staffing levels. When my daughter was in reception they phoned me and said come and collect she's been sick at lunch. Went to get her and she was running around happy, asked her what happened in front of the teacher and she said I was choking and then got sick. Teacher straight away said no that didn't happen (even though she wouldn't have actually seen because she would have been on her own break!). To this day, 3 years later, my daughter still says she choked...

Another example, daughter kept weeing herself at school when forst started which was odd. One day she came out with, I can't open the door to the toilets because it's too heavy and of someone opens it, I can't reach the toilets anyway because I'm too small. She was tiny, and the toilets were down the end of a corridor the other side of school! It broke my heart.

you have to be that parent that complains with school. The level of care for a reception age child is unacceptable

How do you know he didn't just vomit and shut the box? Pushing food to the back of your throat can produce a very quick vomit reaction.
With all the will in the world one person supervising 30 plus children many of whom have not been taught to open boxes, peel bananas etc can not have their eyes directly on each and every one for every second if they had seen them vomit you would have been called to collect.
How your child is doing updates come at parents evening unless there is an issue.

What did the school say? I don't think that's acceptable at all. Your poor son. If a child is choking to the extent they vomit of course a staff member should have noticed. But your son definitely should have told someone bless him. Hope he's settled down now.