Childminders Etiquette

[eltonbyrne]

I take my son to a really lovely local playgroup in a church hall. We get free use of the hall for a £1 donation per child. In the last year quite a few childminders have started to come to the playgroup. Today I noticed that the childminders are only paying £1 despite some having as many as three kids with them. I feel like this is taking advantage of a charitable service. One childminder complained to a regular grandparent about not having tea and coffee as standard and also complained about the lack of arts and crafts, etc. available. The grandparent gently suggested that the childminder organise these things if she wanted them available. Just wondered what others thoughts and experiences are. Wondering if it is worth chatting to the church about laying down some concrete ground rules mainly around the donations.

Just to add - a childminder who attends puts on tea and coffee when she is there but takes money out of the donations to provide this and doesn't pay to use the service as she brings milk. Is this standard? I would be happy to put 50 pence in a kitty every week to cover tea and coffee expenses.

If it's £1 per child, why aren't they paying £1 per child? Who is in charge of enforcing this? Surely the solution is to remind them of the cost and get them to pay their fair share..? Our local church runs a similar playgroup where you have to sign in and pay as you enter, so one of the volunteers from the church makes sure everyone pays up.

You're totally right. It was very chilled out before the childminders got wind of the group. There was never a need to monitor the sign in sheet as it was the same parents and grandparents every week. Just worked off an honesty system I guess. Now that it's busier there should be someone "in charge" to enforce things. The group is sort of run by the regulars who attend. Someone may have to step up and manage things more.

Put a sign up - £1 per child

It will happen anywhere there is an affordable and more informal playgroup in my experience.

Some parents stopped going to some of our local ones because instead of a cheap cup of tea and a chat with other mums, equally in the trenches with babies and toddlers, there were a couple of childminders with lots of children who'd sit and chat with each whilst the children ran wild.

The only way round it is for someone to take ownership of the group and formalise the expectations more.

Someone just needs to monitor the donations to be honest and make sure each child is paid for. I used to take 3 children to a playgroup as a childminder, it was lovely for them to play with the other children and I got to know some of the families. That was until a grandparent complained that childminders shouldn’t attend as they’re not our own children. It was a real shame as they made the decision that childminders couldn’t use the group. I used to take craft items for all the children to share and always did my turn on making the brews. After they stopped childminders attending the group didn’t last for long as they didn’t have enough helpers (they seemed to forget that the childminders were the ones who helped out whilst there).

I’ve been to groups as a parent of smalls and also as a childminder and when I see kids ‘running wild’ it was usually those with their parents.

In our area, it was childminders running playgroups because no-one else would do it, paying for hall hire, providing snacks and crafts.
We got fed up with being bullied by parents and grandparents. It felt as though we were under constant scrutiny and criticism.
We were more likely to have children with additional needs with us, and there were complaints about the noise one of them made.
Heaven forbid that we should actually sit down and talk to each other (despite this being a notoriously lonely job with very long hours), or use our phones (updating the childcare apps with activities and photos, texting or talking to parents).

So we took advantage of the pandemic to restrict the groups. Nannies, au pairs and childminders only. Oh, it's been blissful!
The groups are still well run and we all look out for each other's children. We know not to leave hot drinks lying around within grabbing distance, we can make sure the activities and crafts are suitable for the kids, we all clean up at the end, we support one another.
We're reliable and we have good long standing relationships with the venues we use.

Now parents and grandparents complain that we're excluding them 🙄

Op, why do you criticise the childminder who provides refreshments? If someone brings milk or refreshments to our group, of course I'd tell them to take the money out of the takings!

I think a lot will come down to local offers, which is why people have different experiences.
I found some local groups did well at having a mixture of childminders and parents, but certain cheap ones that were informally ran became unattractive to parents of babies and toddlers because they were viewed as a cheap easy morning for childminders with older toddlers and pre-schoolers. The ones who managed to get things working well we're the ones who formalised expectations and tightened up on charging per child.

OP, could you do a booking form online and pay per child that way. One I attended did that.
You might find it better to formalise refreshments too. Increase the cost to attend and then use the takings to cover the refreshments cost, rather than relying on a grey area where some people take their turn and float the milk as part of their attendance and others take from the pot.

Hi there. My post was not a dig at childminders. Just the individuals who aren't donating per child. Not a criticism at all - why I posted is this standard practice. And not suggesting childminders aren't welcome as the more donations the better for the church. We will have to agree to disagree about using money from the takings for refreshments. - I think all donations apart from for treats at Christmas etc. for the children should go to the church. I agree with what others have suggested that the donations just need to be monitored more. Again, my post was not attacking childminders in general.

Yes, I may float the idea of a booking system. Thanks for the suggestion.

Having said that have realised we donated an extra pound at Christmas last year to cover costs for a party.

Maybe the childminder just couldn’t afford to supply tea and coffee for everyone. It’s not fair for it to be down to one person each time as invariably there will always be some who don’t do the same. Tea and coffee supplies should always be taken from the kitty. If needs be, you raise the admission cost to reflect this. Costs should always be taken from the kitty and anything left over is the donation amount to go towards the church fund.

Unfortunately, the title of your post and what you have written is alienating childminders to a degree. I’m sure there are others who don’t pay as they should but you’ve focussed on the minders.

Our local church groups charge £1 a family (or childminder). Some only come with one child, some come with 2 or 3. I believe they keep it at a £1 per family (or childminder) so that the group is accessible for everyone, as there are some people who would struggle if it became more costly to attend and the churches like to be charitable and support people. I’m surprised you find that the mindees are running wild; at our groups, those children are usually well under control, but the children who are there with their grannies are the ones running wild!

Just put a note up £1 per child. I run a group and we charge £1 per child 50p for adults that covers tea, biscuits, crafts, Easter eggs, equipment, and gifts from Santa we charge extra twice a year for a bouncy castle or party. The group gives the church £600 a year if it wasn't for childminders it would collapse as they help set up, tidy up and chip in.
Milk is about £1 a session, tea coffee biscuits on top so the cm who brings it is giving more than if she paid £1.

Can I ask how you know it's the childminders not paying rather than someone dipping?

I’ve just been reading on another board about an accident occurring at a playgroup.
Of course, the childminders are all first aid qualified and were able to help.

Does your group have a named first aider?

How do you know it is £1 per child and not £1 per family?
If someone has set that rule then someone must be running the group - who pays for the hall, insurance etc? Speak to them if you want the childminders to pay more.

Good on the childminder being proactive and organising refreshments though!

Your post comes across as if you are anti childminders .How about parents with 2-3 children? Charge per child if it bothers you 🤷‍♀️

Just wondered what others thoughts and experiences are.

I find some places I pay per child and some places I pay just for me and take all three kids in with me. Differs everywhere. The one I commonly go to has snacks for the kids, tea and coffee included in the “price of admission”.

I don’t find childminders any different to be around than other parents. Some aren’t paying attention to the kids, some are. Some parents aren’t paying attention to the kids, some are.

Hmm. Your thread is a bit tone deaf to the fact that childcare is one of the most poorly paid sectors there is. The children of the childminders are as much a part of the community as your children, are they not?

Not only does your post alienate childminders, but it’s the same sort of shit I hear parents spew that suggests my mindees are some sort of sub-par member of society because they have the misfortune of having parents who need to work.

If they aren’t paying people’s then that’s because they’re CF, not because they’re childminders. However if the pricing structure is unclear enough for several of them to be making the same mistake it doesn’t sound like a them-problem.

We have been asked twice in the last few weeks to attend sessions free of charge because our children’s engagement levels are so high, they set a beautiful example of expectations of behaviour to newbies and because the group leaders find it helpful to have an extra pair of hands on offer from a qualified professional.

Hi everyone! Just looking for some opinions regarding childcare. I am a Sahm of 2, 2 yo and 4mo. I recently put my 2yo into childcare for 7 hours a week, 2 mornings just to give me a break and to try and get some cleaning done etc. so far it’s been anything but a break as my child is constantly sick since going there and it’s bringing the whole house down. Lo does be sick for weeks on end, goes back for one week and picks something else up. The cm states in her policies that she does not look after children that are sick however the other parents are constantly bringing their children unwell. I understand that they have jobs to go to and can’t take time off work but it’s inconsiderate to the other children. When my child is sick, they stay at home with me. The cm is not very hygienic and does be sick herself a lot and does not practice hygiene etiquette. This really bothers me! Not only is the constant sickness stressing me out, I am then charged for the time that my child doesn’t attend due to illness. It took a good few weeks for my child to settle which I found very hard and considered pulling as it upset me too much. The cm insisted that I don’t do that and that she would support the child as much as she could to get them settled. Just as my child was starting to settle, I collected one day and they were in floods of tears, inconsolable. I questioned what had happened and it was something so silly that she had given out to my child for and said they need to learn. I know it’s good for my child to mix with other children but I have a bad feeling about this place. They are in business (small self employed) nearly 20 years and came on a recommendation. I suppose I’m just looking for opinions. Am I being over sensitive and should I stick it out. Btw my child has said they don’t want to go back. Do children say this or should I be worried that there’s more to it. Thanks

@Chucks23

Do you know how to start your own thread? That's the done thing normally

First time using this so no oops

@Chucks23

Click on the "childcare" section (should be at the very top of this screen). That will take you to the childcare board. Then look for the "add / start new thread" button (it's usually an arrow towards the top of the screen).

Think I have it now. Thank you. I tried deleting from here but won’t allow me. Thanks again 😊