Nanny Advice

[123abchelpme]

DH and I both work from home and have a toddler in preschool and a baby at home. We have just employed a nanny for the baby with a job posting that listed 9-5 hours + some flex as needed. I made a list for the entire next year where the schedule would vary, mentioning that the first two weeks of the month are my really busy work days.
Nanny is on week 2 and is already absolute magic with the baby - I am close to being able to hand off the whole day’s schedule management, just remembering when she needs to eat, and am confident she’s getting the right stimulation and play in nanny’s care.
The problem is, nanny is so far not very reliable - she has already come in late/left early multiple times, and occasionally steps out for lunch while the baby naps (but baby inevitably wakes up before she is back). This has come to a head today during one of my very busy work days when baby woke up almost immediately after she left for lunch and I had to run a meeting with baby on my lap - charming once or twice for my coworkers but any more than that makes me look unreliable too.
This brings up a few questions for me - How do you address this with nanny?
How do you manage pay? We’ve never needed to watch the clock exactly for a nanny before and are happy to pay more hours than worked occasionally e.g. if they go home at 4:15 one day because baby went down for nap and will sleep until 5 I would usually still pay nanny for the full time but let her go home early, but with this happening so much I am not feeling as generous as usual. What is the norm here?
Or, if it comes to it, how many chances do you give someone before you decide they are not the right fit?

No no no this has nightmare written all over it! If those issues have already popped up in the first fortnight they will get much worse over time if you don’t address them. Is she asking before she pops out/leaves early/comes in late? Or is it just presented to you as what’s happening? You have to nip this in the bud immediately if you think you want to keep her on, particularly the going out during nap time. Our nanny would never attempt that - and I would never permit it if she asked, unless it was for something really important and I was having a quiet day at work- precisely because you just never know if they’re going to stay asleep or not. More broadly, honestly, having cast-iron reliability on childcare is one of the major reasons for hiring a nanny and if you’re already not getting that from her in the early days chances are you never will. Sorry for negativity!

This is helpful feedback, thank you!

This is so out of order . I am a nanny and the mum works from home I wouldn’t dream of going out . Nanny’s don’t really get proper lunch breaks to actually go out .
she’s only on week two and got away with loads already ,
I would have a meeting and say what you think to nip it in the bud ,

we had 4 nannies over 9 years for our girls. every nanny arrived on time on the dot always and stayed to the end of the day to do extra laundry / tidying even if the children didn't need them. I always paid for the full hours.

you need to tell nanny that she MUST be in the house 9-5 everyday and she should bring lunch with her and eat with the baby on her lap if needed. that is part of the job.

if she can't do that, look for another nanny.

Nannies do NOT go out for lunch. They are paid for sole charge. That means that even if you happen to be in the house WFH, you are not available for care until the nanny's hours are over and the two of you exchange responsibility for the child. And they should be timely. I agree with PP, if these problems have cropped up already this nanny has failed the test and it isn't going to work out. A good, experienced nanny would never have left the house for lunch.

Tbh, I actually wonder if the hours you're offering are a bit short to be appealing. Nannies are accustomed to doing 10-11hrs a day to accommodate commuting parents or those working long hours. I had one pre-2020 and we paid her for 11 hours on her working days. But that's just a thought.

No, this is not right from her!

I'm confused as to how it even arises that she leaves for lunch? Are you not paying her for the full day and providing lunch for her?
I think you just need to say to her that you need her in the house/with the baby for the core hours of 9-5 and she can't leave at all during that time. She needs to pretend you're not there, and you need to stay in your office out of the way.

The role has a start time and a finish time. Those are defined in the contract of employment. They arrive in time to start at the start time, unless it has been agreed in advance that they will arrive late.

>she has already come in late/left early multiple times

Why? If you have finished work and decide that she can leave work early, that's fine but otherwise she is there until the agreed finish time.

>+ some flex as needed

How have you defined that in your discussions with your nanny? To me that means that on occasion a later finish time may be needed. In my case, MumBoss or DadBoss may get delayed on their way home, so if MB is stuck in traffic then I cannot leave until she gets home. If DB is working from home and has a phone call come in close to finish time, he can't just hang up the phone at 5pm... it may be a little bit longer before he is able to take over.

If your nanny needs to come in late for some reason, then you may be flexible on that occasionally. However it's been two weeks and it's been more than once, and it may not have been agreed in advance. It sounds like poor timekeeping to me. You need to set the expectation that they arrive at work on time, ideally a little early.

>occasionally steps out for lunch while the baby naps (but baby inevitably wakes up before she is back).

That is not part of the deal surely. She is paid for the entire day, does not get a lunch break as such. Nannies work through the entire time, getting some downtime but not able to leave to go out for a lunch break.

I have had situations where baby has been asleep and older child needs collecting from nursery/school. MB working from home, so asked them if it is ok to leave baby sleeping (MB takes baby monitor), to which MB may say yes if convenient. In your case, you had a meeting you knew about, so you would not have said Yes to such a request. So did nanny not ask before leaving?

>How do you address this with nanny?

Be very clear with your expectations. Start time is the time they need to be at your home, ready to work. Finish time is when they are likely to be able to leave, and you will do everything you can to make sure they are able to do so. Finish time should be a little later than you know you will usually be available... so if you log off at 5pm... then nanny finish time 5:15pm would be better than 5pm.
Be clear about how to communicate with you during the day. They cannot just be leaving to go out without taking baby with them. They cannot assume you are able to keep an ear out for baby, they have to ask and you have to agree based on your work schedule.

>How do you manage pay?
The contract should have in it about pay for the contracted hours and about overtime.
Avoid clock watching. Give and take works well in my experience. You finish your work early, you let nanny leave early, and pay is the same as if nanny worked the entire contracted hours that day. This builds up some grace for when you are a few minutes late. If you are 15, 30 minutes late, then do overtime pay.
In the same way, if you nanny is consistently at work on time, then on the rare occasion they are few minutes late, you don't mind and don't deduct pay.

You have had a nanny before, so do what worked then. Nip the late arriving for work in the bud and be clear about how you are working from home, which does not mean you can care for baby... nanny cannot go out for lunch.

I'm a nanny and would never just go out for lunch and leave the child napping.! A professional is on time and leaves at said time......

Wow - only been there two weeks and totally unprofessional

Nannies don't get lunch breaks and def don't leave child at home to go out.

Let alone being late and leaving early

Has she been a nanny before ? Did you check her ref ?

I’m quite surprised about this given it’s the first two weeks, surely you are on your best behaviour and trying to impress which one would imagine begins with punctuality. I would really just explain on her, “I need you to be on time as my work day begins at 9:00 too.” However, if you are letting her leave early , I don’t think you can penalise her (pay her less) because of that.

It also very strange that she is leaving the house for lunch alone? This is absolutely not common practice! that being said when I was a nanny, I absolutely hated being stuck at home especially if the parents were around, you feel redundant, bored and even at times awkward. Are you letting her go out with the buggy for walks or to play groups or anything like that? I think if you encourage her go out with the baby that might help the situation overall.

the issues you have stated are a bit unusual but I do feel they are resolvable and if she’s great with your baby and trust her in that respect I would definitely try to hold on to her!