Left with bad headache after very naughty child today!!!!Advice please

[boo70]

Hi just had a real bad 2 days with a 10 year old minded child, it started yesterday when the child pushed another 4 year old over after the 4 year old had pushed her. I told them both to behave and come and finish making their mothers day cards. Then the 10 year old just started shouting and slammed my living room door and ran out of the house. I went after her and she came back in, still shouting so i told her to calm down and stop shouting as it was scaring the other children. I telephoned her mum and explained situation and said maybe better if shes picks her up ealier today. But mum did not arrive till 7 pm an hour later than normal!!When mum did arrive the daughter ran out of my house shouting abuse at her mum down the street. Today the girl arrived at my house as normal and i thought i wont mention anything, so asked what she would like to eat and she put her fingers in her ears. Then one of the toddlers took a little trike that was next to the girl and she started shouting again and ran out and locked herself in the bathroom, where she is now waiting for mum. Sorry its long just wondered if anyone had any advice!!! Thank you

Yes this was after school.

Hi all just typed up notice, this is not the first time this has happened and the dad just called again now giving me abuse, which i dont need!! Going to give notice on Monday as i still dont think my blood pressures got back to normal.

Thanks for all your help.So glad this sites here!!!!!

They are nuts! Jeez Happy Friday to you , good going on the notice, hang in there.

Good for you. And very sorry for you at the same time! This is something you do not need.

No did not need it at all and i know it wont be the end of it as the family are a reel nightmare.

god I'd phone him back and tell him you are giving them notice now as you cannot accept this standard of behaviour

then post it tomorrow

at least you'll not be worried all weekend

Do you use an NCMA contract and are you a memeber? Is there some sort of clause whereby you can terminate a contract with immediate effect for extreme cases? I don't use NCMA myself, so I wouldn't know. I really feel for you, if you've got to put up with them for your agreed notice period.

I think you should inform the parents that being verbally abused by the dad is also totally unacceptable.

you have done the right thing giving notice - sounds to me like she's a spoilt brat - i feel a bit sorry for kids who are brought up like that , when their parents can't see their faults - and to put the blame on the pre-schoolers

Well i would give her notice '0 days' because if you let her get away with it she will give you serious problems in the future. if her parents back her all the time them tell them to look after their child at home. she might have a problem and the parents are not telling you the truth. so how can you help. get rid of her.

You can't give 0 days notice unfortunately unless you have a relevant clause in your contract. Otherwise the parent can sue you for loss of earnings.

I think you're doing the right thing. If the dad hadn't behaved so poorly I would have thought it better to schedule a meeting to discuss (ie, last chance). But with the dad's attitude that seems rather pointless.

Sounds like anything said that appears to criticise his precious dd is likely to send him off on one. Cos thats how some people deal with criticism (however well intended) - by trying to make everyone else look worse and shift the blame.

Keep a record of all the abusive calls, date & time and note some of the exact phrases.

Hi all, just woke up from having a real bad migrain all night thinking about this and im going to call the family now, its playing on my mind and my daughter said this morning, Mummy can i stay in my room after school next week as i dont like the shouting.So i thought thats it now, so plucking up the courage to call them now!!! I am moving house soon so had allready given notice, i gave 2 months so everyone could find somewhere and the first legal month is up now.So here goes, ill let you know in a while!!!!

Just phoned bloody answer phone!!!!!!!!!!

I have no idea of how you stand legally, so you would have to check with the NCMA, but I cannot believe that you are obliged to continue working out notice with parents who are abusive towards you. You are scared and, worse still, so is your daughter.

Yes your right i was phisicly shaking as i dont like situations like that at all. And still shaking now as just plucked up courage to call and the answer phone came on. Dont think my headache is going to go untill i get this out the way!!!

I wonder if Nannynck will know. He's usually the font of all knowledge! NCMA will be able to advise, but not until Monday and I'm sure you could do with knowing now! Start a thread for him, you never know.

Just looking on my contract and it says, If the childs behaviour is that the saftey and wellbeing of the childminder,their children or the children in their care are threatened, the chilminder may terminate the contract without notice.So just waiting for her to return my call!!!

The more i think about it,o know i cant have her back, my own children would not act like that and i dont really want to take the chance of something else happening.

Good. I knew there must be a get out clause somewhere! Just the matter of a phone call to get over and done with and then hopefully you can relax.

Yes thanks going to go and get some retail therapy i think!!!

did they phone back??

Hi all, no did not call back or answer phone until about an hour ago and i explained that i cannot have that behaviour at my house and i have to think about the welfare of the other children i look after so i will not be having her from tomorrow. The mum was not as bad as i expected as i think she did not answer her phone all weekend as she was trying to sort something out and shes decided to finish work earlier!!!! But i could here the girl shouting in the background!! and the mum was trying to say it was not her fault it was the little ones and that i never sort situations out so i just said i had to go and that was it, for now but i think once the dad hears ill have more trouble but ill wait and see.Just feel its a great weight of my shoulders now to know that she wont be coming tomorrow..

Excellent news! It must still bug the hell out of you, that she had the nerve to blame everyone other than her dd though? It would me!

Yes it is bugging me, but i would rather just move on now and forget about them.As it is just going to be a lot easier now for me as i was cooking her dinner, driving her home every night and quite often that was not until 7 pm. Anyway can concentrate on looking for a new house now, putting all my childminding stuff on ebay as going to move house within the next 6 months(hopefully) and have a change of job!!!