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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Just a nanny employer moaning

14 replies

ImperfectClematis · 27/02/2008 16:43

Hi, I'm new to this area though I've been following some of the threads with interest, as I've recently switched from a nursery to a nanny for my children.

New nanny seems great, kids love her, she's got the kids to do things that I never managed. I'm not a people person, but I've vowed to be a good employer so I'm trying hard to be nice to her. I thought it was all going OK.

Recently I found out that she's posted a thread to try and get some advice on a problem that our children have. She quotes me as saying something, and how shocked she was by it. Although it is not incorrect, it is quoted out of context. And now I feel that I've been branded a bad mother to the whole world.

DH thinks I'm being oversensitive and that it's good that the nanny is trying to solve the problem. I see what he means but I'm still hurt by the implication.

Of course she is free to post whatever on the internet and I'm not about to ask her to stop. But it just doesn't make me feel good. So, I just wanted to moan about it. Anyone else had a similar problem?

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Desiderata · 27/02/2008 16:45

Did she post on Mumsnet?

BeauLocks · 27/02/2008 16:52

It's actually not a lot different to her talking to her friends except that you've seen what she's written. The good thing of course is that websites like this one are anonymous so even if people were shocked by what you allegedly said it really doesn't matter.

Whenever you employ people they will talk about their jobs and talk about you as their boss. It's hard to come to terms with but it is human nature. If you talk to her about it you will come across as snooping. However, you might want to mention something casually about keeping things confidential. I have stressed to the nannies we have had that confidentiality is key and that whilst I understand they will discuss their jobs with their family and friends I don't want our lives to become gossip fodder.

jura · 27/02/2008 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ImperfectClematis · 27/02/2008 16:56

Desiderata - sorry, but I don't really want to say.

BeauLocks - thanks - point taken. I just never thought I'd have to deal with this kind of issue just by being an employer, so I guess I'm a bit shocked. Yes I agree confidentiality is the key.

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Original poster

ImperfectClematis · 27/02/2008 16:58

Jura - thanks - glad to know someone else's been thtough it, although your problem sounds far worse than mine.

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BeauLocks · 27/02/2008 17:01

You do get used to it. Honestly.

I know that we look after our nanny well, respect and like her and if she's going to bad mouth us then there's nothing we can do about it. However, if she were to blab about us I would be furious. Our current nanny is great and (as far as I know) very discrete but our old nanny was dire and used to tell her mates all kinds of things. She had a good snoop in dh's study one day and discovered how much he and I earned and told her mates. I only found out because one of her mates was my friend's nanny who told me.

branflake81 · 27/02/2008 17:51

to be fair, how many of you bad mouth your nannies or ask for advice? She is entitled to do the same.

Original poster

ImperfectClematis · 27/02/2008 19:10

BeauLocks - hmmm maybe you're right, but it feels very strange at the moment.

Branflake - I guess I've never done that myself, at least not in a way that I can be traced back to!

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sparklyfairypie · 28/02/2008 01:31

I dont expect she thought it would be traced back, I assume she used no names?

Original poster

ImperfectClematis · 28/02/2008 08:41

Sparklyfairypie - no, nothing to identify me as such. It's just that she knows that I look at the site in question and that I know what her nickname is. It's almost as if she wanted me to read it!

OP posts:

Squiffy · 28/02/2008 09:59

Goes with the territory I'm afraid. We all moan about our bosses sometimes.

littleladylollipop · 28/02/2008 12:20

i'm sure she was justing asking for advice- I'm sure she would be horrified and upset to know you had read it.

If its really bugging you, you could always talk about it? communication is the key! i've been with my 'family' for over 7 years now, and its always worked well. when I've been a bit fed up or we havent seen eye to eye (rarely) then ive asked my friends- if I had known about mums net I would have asked on here as its anon. Much better on here than nannies of friends you know hey?

Original poster

ImperfectClematis · 28/02/2008 12:55

Squiffy - yes I guess so. I do also understand my DH's point that she wasn't strictly moaning, at least not solely about me.

Littleladylollipop - yes probably you are right. I'm just... adjusting. I think she may well bring it up with us so we'll see.

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Wakeuppeople · 29/02/2008 11:32

Not only our bosses.... we all moan about our nannies too

Thread on nanny returning to work after maternity is just one of hundreds!

What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.....as employer's we all play the confidientality clause when it suits us, what about employee confidientality then?

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