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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Morning school run help

50 replies

indomitablespirit · 01/08/2023 20:08

I was just wondering if there would be such a thing as finding a child minder to come to my house every weekday morning to get my two children up, ready, and take them to school. I recently got a new job which starts earlier that any breakfast clubs etc. and their dad has been taking them to school instead of me as he works from home. However we are getting divorced and it seems that he will be unwilling to help me out unless I agree to his terms on how much we both have the children each week. Does anyone know if I look for a nanny or a childminder, or something else, and also how much it would cost per hour. I have to fill in my expected expenses for everything as part of the separation process. Is anyone else in a similar situation, or has someone do this kind of early morning childcare? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
qwertyuiopasfghjklzxcvbnenk · 01/08/2023 20:09

You're better off asking on a local face book group

CFornot · 01/08/2023 20:10

It would be a nanny. Put just a morning nanny maybe difficult to come by and you need to factor in any potential sickness and maternity pay. Contact a nannying agency and they will be able to advise.

gogomoto · 01/08/2023 20:10

Some child minders start early but you would need to get them dressed and drop them

bagforlifeamnesty · 01/08/2023 20:13

How early are we talking? Several childminders near me open at 7.30 or even 7 but you’d need to get your DC dressed and drop them off. I doubt any childminder would do it before 7am, it would need to be a nanny. Again in our area a nanny for two kids is approx £14-16 per hour but you may be charged a premium if you’re only wanting eg two hours a day.

BendingSpoons · 01/08/2023 20:16

I think this will be difficult to find someone to cover to be honest. Does your ex want the children more than you would like? Is he suggesting having them overnight so he can do the mornings?

HarrietStyles · 01/08/2023 20:29

You need a Nanny. A nanny comes to your home and offers care there. A childminder works in their own home and you need to drop your child there.

Original poster
indomitablespirit · 02/08/2023 06:12

My ex wants a 50/50 arrangements in having the children but I want them to be with me most of the time as it’s disruptive for them constantly going from his to mine etc.Plus DS said he didn’t want to stay with him - I don’t trust his parenting much either. Trouble is, I don’t earn the type of wage that would afford a nanny, it’s very average.Thanks for the suggestions - I have had a look at the childcare website

OP posts:
SummerSazz · 02/08/2023 06:35

I had one of the young ladies from the crèche at my gym come and do this for 2 days a week when I was working a distance away. She would also do babysitting.

Goldencup · 02/08/2023 06:42

Get their Dad to do it. How old are they ?

Sux2buthen · 02/08/2023 06:50

How old are they and how far is school?

Rocknrollstar · 02/08/2023 07:49

Maybe a student would do this ? Or perhaps you need a live in au pair.

Original poster
indomitablespirit · 02/08/2023 16:57

Goldencup · 02/08/2023 06:42

Get their Dad to do it. How old are they ?

He should continue to do it, I agree. But I just think he will refuse just to spite me for not wanting his 50/50 arrangement in having the kids. They are 9 and 7, so eldest gets himself ready and walks to school with a friend, and youngest still needs help and chivvying along.

OP posts:
Goldencup · 02/08/2023 17:27

indomitablespirit · 02/08/2023 16:57

He should continue to do it, I agree. But I just think he will refuse just to spite me for not wanting his 50/50 arrangement in having the kids. They are 9 and 7, so eldest gets himself ready and walks to school with a friend, and youngest still needs help and chivvying along.

Show quote history

But you are offering 50:50, he does the mornings, you do the evenings. Of course the DCs need to sleep in the same bed Mon-Fri each week to suggest anything else is ridiculous.

jannier · 03/08/2023 21:42

How early is early? Many children arrive at childminders at 7 and have breakfast there.

Original poster
indomitablespirit · 04/08/2023 06:16

Goldencup - thank you. The trouble is he is ridiculous, and difficult to deal with. I will try my best to get him to do the school run but that would mean he has to co-operate. He likes to be difficult to get his own way. Anyway, you are absolutely right - the children should be in their beds on school nights and anything else is very disruptive for them.

OP posts:
110APiccadilly · 04/08/2023 06:20

I'd look for a local teenager or student. Not as expensive as a nanny and could be a perfect job for them as they have the rest of the day to themselves.

Original poster
indomitablespirit · 04/08/2023 06:22

jannier · 03/08/2023 21:42

How early is early? Many children arrive at childminders at 7 and have breakfast there.

I didn’t know that - thank you. I have to leave at 7am to drive to work for 7:30 so it would be tight but I suppose just about manageable. I’ll have to get up very early though to get everyone ready on time. I’ll probably be cursing him for having an easy life while I’m doing all of the childcare!

OP posts:
h3ll0o · 04/08/2023 06:29

If this was a reverse and the scenario was outlined as below posters would be outraged at your husbands behaviour.

Husband is refusing 50/50 contact but demanding wife shelps over to his house regularly to get the kids up and take them to school so he can stay in his preferred job.

Would be getting up that early and out to a childminders each day workable for your children and your stress levels. It sounds like if you want the kids most of the time it’s time for you to start looking for a job with more child friendly hours.

Throughabushbackwards · 04/08/2023 07:16

Could you make a flexible working request with your job to be able to start slightly later? It's a valid reason.

Flittingaboutagain · 04/08/2023 07:20

A mother's help would do this. Put a post out on that childcare website.

chopc · 04/08/2023 07:45

@indomitablespirit unfortunately you can't have your cake and eat it. The norm now is to start at 50:50 and then you each discuss why it shouldn't be this way. No way should he miss out on time with the kids just because of your opinion on his parenting style.

As for a solution - ask work. They may be able to accommodate a later start.

Magneta · 04/08/2023 12:30

A couple of friends who needed this found students. You could try asking at school if any TAs are looking for extra hours. I would approach this quite quietly, maybe through a TA or teacher you know, if possible, rather than via the front desk.

Do look at what other levers you have though. Early drops at childminders can be v early, or ask about a later start at work, even if no one else has one, even if you think they'll say no. Long term expecting their dad to pick them up from yours could be quite fraught and unstable.

WunWun · 04/08/2023 12:34

You can't refuse 50:50 because of his parenting style, unless that style is abusive in some way?

WunWun · 04/08/2023 12:35

Goldencup · 02/08/2023 17:27

But you are offering 50:50, he does the mornings, you do the evenings. Of course the DCs need to sleep in the same bed Mon-Fri each week to suggest anything else is ridiculous.

Show quote history

That could easily be solved by doing a week on week off version of 50:50. That's what my DD does.