Baby starting in toddler group

[dadanxious]

Hi I am looking for some support as a very nervous parent whose baby is starting nursery. We have managed to keep our baby safe for 13 months now and are very anxious about the thought of anyone else looking after them. We signed up to a nursery who has seperate baby and toddler rooms. We have so many worries including choking, not being montiored when the baby is sleeping and something happening to them, swallowing batteries or some other dangerous chemical. Baby was due to start and in the settling in day we were told they were being put into the toddler room rather then baby room even though baby is not walking. This is making us very nervous. The toddler room goes up to 2.5 years old. Any advice on risks or actions we should take to aleviate risk?

Your baby won't be exposed to batteries or dangerous chemicals at nursery
Your comment We have managed to keep our baby safe for 13 months now
indicates levels of anxiety way beyond the norm.

Kindly, the nursery is likely to have far more stringent and careful rules than your house. Even a very anxious parent isn’t trained in the same way and your home is unlikely to have been risk assessed by a professional nursery nurse.

It’s horrible handing your precious baby over to strangers when they start nursery and your mind runs away with you but statistically I would think your baby is safer there than not.

It is not your job to risk asses the situation your baby is in while at nursery, they won’t put a one year old in with two year olds unless the processes are in place to ensure everyone’s safety. One and two are perfectly reasonable ages to have together anyway, it’s not like they’re in with six year olds. Your one year old will LOVE having slightly bigger toddlers to observe, it’s most babies’ favourite entertainment.

Your anxiety sounds very, very high and that must be incredibly hard for you. I hope it helps you in a way, to hear that your worries aren’t rational. Your child will be fine.

You sound off the charts anxious, OP. Of course nurseries don't have dangerous chemicals or loose batteries lying around! They are purpose-built facilities for young children, and almost certainly safer than the average household.

The best action to take to eliminate risk to your child is to get immediate help for your anxiety. Your anxiety will - not might - damage your child more than any potential accident at nursery.

And once your baby starts walking, they will bash themselves off all manner of stuff. That's perfectly normal. They'll pick up colds and other childhood illnesses, again normal. They might get a scratch or bruise from contact with another child. Also perfectly normal.

It's incredibly important for young children to take risks in play. Please make sure your anxiety and nervousness isn't stopping your child developing normally. Kids should be free to have bumps and scratches while they explore the world. Our baby room has a mini climbing frame and slide for the babies!

Would it help to think about home environment when all 2nd or future babies have older siblings around and you wouldn’t separate them when supervising? Parents would consider toys around but those in nursery setting will even more. Have you seen the toddler rooms and have anything specific your concerned about your child accessing ?

Kindly, please look at some support for your anxiety. Of course it’s normal to worry when they go to nursery but your worries are quite irrational. Nursery is probably safer than your home, they have so many rules, policies, training etc. yes baby will catch illnesses and hurt themselves but that’s part of life.

Oh darling. Why do you think they’ll be exposed to batteries and chemicals at nursery? Your Leverl of anxiety is more dangerous than nursery. It makes sense they’d put them in the toddler room. When your child starts there will be settling days normally you will be able to stay with them 30 mins or so, so you can look around then. Kindly, you might be looking for things you don’t like on purpose to prove a point to yourself. Instead of looking for loose batteries, look at the other children to see how happy they look

If this is genuine then you both could really benefit in seeing professional assistance to manage these thoughts

My little one started in the baby room at 1 yr and hated it. She got moved to the toddler room after a couple of months and loved it. So much more to do there for her, and I think she enjoyed being with the older kids more than the babies. I wouldn't say it's a bad thing to start in the toddler room.

If the toddler room doesn't work out then they can move them to the baby room, no biggie!

As pp said, as they get older they need the chance to climb, pick up germs, interact in a friendly way (learn no hitting, biting etc). It sounds like your anxious approach won't encourage this.
Your DC is going to thrive in a nursery.

Babies are more grown up than we realise. My toddler has done so much in nursery that I didn't think they were old enough for. They really were ready for these activities so it's been great to help me as a parent too.

Oh come on… batteries? Chemicals?