Totally overwhelmed after first day creche visit

[Happilynauseous]

My DD turns one this week and we had her first short visit to the creche this morning. She will be full time from next week as I return to work. She likes the other kids and was happily playing with toys, but was constantly looking for me in the room for reassurance and got a little upset when I left the room for short while.

The carers seemed nice, one seemed a little aloof which made me a bit nervous though. That aside, I can't help feel as though I am totally abandoning her and it just feels so wrong. I know she will be physically ok but will she be supported emotionally? I've been an emotional wreck since we've been home and I feel sick at the thoughts of her going in there full time.

Please tell me this feeling will subside and it gets better? Am I doing the wrong thing sending her at such a young age?

She will soon get used to it, but will need time to adjust to the routine.

It’s a totally normal thing to do. I don’t see hordes of emotionally damaged children!

There are plenty on here who will be along to tell you their (bullshit) opinion that children shouldn't go into childcare (and we should all exist on magical cloud dust and pay our mortgages with it because they "made it work" either in a different era or with a husband in a different income bracket or living in a part of the country with lower costs than here). The truth is, hundreds of thousands of children up and down the country are in childcare in any given year and they all adjust and they're all fine. More than fine, because they will thrive. The childcare will be able to give your child a range of fun and educational experiences. While it's really hard letting them go at the start, they will be ok.

Jennifer Zamparelli did a good segment on this on the radio last year, about how nearly all of us drop our child off for their first day of daycare then go back to the car and cry, or cry in the toilets at work in those early days as we feel like we are making a big mistake, but the children are really fine once they're settled.

Did you tell her when you were leaving and say a proper goodbye? Really important to do that so she can start to trust that you will leave and return, rather than just disappear.

Aw thank you that was a really reassuring message to read and it did really help. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us everything will be ok! And I'm sure with time it will be

Definitely say goodbye and no matter how upset you are don't show it.

It may just be that small group childcare suits her (and you) better, something like a childminder, nanny or nanny share.

In honesty, I don't know that very small children are adequately emotionally supported in big group childcare settings. I'm not sure any of us do really.

This was her first day, right? Sounds completely normal. She’ll get more independent each day, she’ll have a few little wobbles now and then, but in all likelihood she’ll settle right in.

Ive had one DC in a big nursery and one with a childminder. Both equally happy.