So, I have massively dropped the proverbial with childcare, and I'm looking for some advice/reassurance/sympathy/strong words to help me resolve the issue. This is a long one, so apologies!
We have a two and a half year old and a 7 week old, who will be around 10 months when I return to work. I work Monday - Thursday, husband Mon - Fri.
DS1 is split between two childminders.
CM1 - 40, has been a childminder for about two years, recently rated "Good" by Ofsted, really lovely and gets the kids out and about. Works term-time only. 3mins drive from us.
CM2 - 60, has been a childminder since the dawn of time, rated "Outstanding" by Ofsted, all round Mary Poppins. Works all year round but only does Tues-Thurs. 3mins drive from us.
DS1 is with CM1 on Monday, and CM2 Tues-Thurs.
When we first found CM1, I was pregnant with DS2 and asked if we could possibly secure a place for him when I returned to work. She agreed to this, and has asked for a 50% retainer from September. I hadn't really considered the issue with term time only childcare, but this is really playing on my mind now. Husband and I would really struggle to find the annual leave to cover all the holidays.
I also spoke to CM2 about taking on DS2 and she is very non-committal. She wants to, but she has two under 2's at the moment (who will be over 2 by the time DS2 starts) and is concerned about the school run if either of the younger two aren't walking confidently. I really need to be confident of what childcare we have in place, as we were let down last minute when I returned to work after DS1 and it was horrible.
So we have a couple of options:
Option 1 - DS1 stays as is, DS2 goes with CM1 Mon - Thurs. (the most reliable option but leaves us in the lurch during half term, as one will be catered for but the other won't).
Option 2 - we split it - Mon/Tues with CM1, Wed/Thurs with CM2. Deal with Mon/Tues during half term but know that they're catered for Wed/Thurs. (gives us more childcare, avoids some of the half term issue but is a bit messy, plus I won't get confirmation that DS2 has a place until closer to my return to work)
Option 3 - sort out some kind of alternative childcare for Monday and have DS1 and DS2 with CM2 Tues-Thurs. (disadvantage here is that she cannot give me confirmation that she can definitely take DS2 on until very close to my return to work, and may also be considering retirement).
Option 4 - I spend the next 8 months of mat leave losing the baby weight, learn how to dress myself in something other than leggings and a t-shirt, meet a very rich man, get him to take me and the kids on, then be a stay at home yummy mummy (absolutely not likely to ever happen).
We do have my mum as stand in childcare as required, but she is in her early seventies and I don't like relying on her.
Childcare is incredibly hard to come by in our area, and we are very lucky to have these two wonderful CM's. Nursery isn't an option, as I feel DS2 is too young (and we had an awful experience with our local nursery).
I need to decide quickly, as CM1 currently thinks she is going to have an almost full-time child from March 2024 and I feel I need to be honest with her ASAP, if this won't be the case. I feel so awful taking hours/days away from either of them, which is probably why I'm coming to Mumsnet for advice - at least with a nursery you can keep things relatively professional, but as CM's are self-employed I feel more of a commitment to them both!
Also, what is the best way to say we're struggling and we may need to change arrangements? I'm finding it very difficult to verbalise to CM1 that what we arranged while I was pregnant may no longer be suitable - I'm usually a very confident person but for some reason, I feel uncomfortable changing plans because I feel as though I'm letting her down?