Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

Childminder question?

24 replies

Dvh149 · 30/06/2023 22:45

My 9 month old son started with a childminder this week for 2 days ( will be increasing to more days in a few weeks) He usually naps for an hour and a half in the morning and the same again in the afternoon.

The first day he went the childminder messaged me to say that he had gone down for a morning nap at about half 9 and slept for about 40 mins. She then messaged at 12 and said he was struggling to go for his afternoon nap. I said that he doesn't go down until later in the afternoon and that he hadn't been awake long enough for another nap yet. He didn't nap in the afternoon and was tired and cranky when he got home.

She then said that the other children she minds all go down after lunch time for a nap and that he won't be able to nap properly in the afternoon as she does the school run.

The following day he was up at 4am and when I dropped him off I said that he wouldn't make it until lunchtime for a nap and she said he might as he was awake for hours yesterday. He went to sleep at lunchtime with the other children so was awake for 7 hours without a nap ..and only slept for an hour and a half. When he got home he ate his dinner and was sick and then was sick during the night but slept all the way through without a bottle until the morning. He was then sick in the morning. He woke up at 5am and then fell asleep at 7am and didn't wake until 11am..... then had his afternoon nap as usual. I know it takes a while to settle with a childminder. Sorry for the long message but my question is, is it normal for a childminder to expect a baby to fall in line with older children for nap times? I thought that he still needs 2 naps a day as his wake windows aren't more than 3 and a half hours at the moment, but she said that one long nap will be the same.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ArnoldBee · 30/06/2023 22:50

Yes!
In a nursery or childminder setting there are things that need to be done at a certain time ie. the school run. Your child will be expected to fall into line.

onedone · 30/06/2023 22:56

As above ... he'll take time to settle / change his routine to fit with the childminder but if you want him to continue with your home routine then maybe you need to look for a nanny

Original poster

Dvh149 · 30/06/2023 23:08

OK thank you, I just suppose I'm worrying he won't. As he isn't there 5 days a week and I can't see him staying awake for 6 or 7 hours at a time without a nap at such a young age. The other children are all 20 months plus so naturally they only have 1 nap a day. If that's the normal thing for babies then that's put my mind at rest! Thank you.

OP posts:

jannier · 01/07/2023 13:59

As a childminder I'd expect two naps am probably a short one and in a pushchair if I'm out, the pm longer but it takes time and he may transition to one longer one.
Vomiting has nothing to do with it. Sounds like a bug....they get more of those to start with too.

Anoushkaka · 01/07/2023 14:18

Yes, children need to fit in with Childminders routine. It would be the same in a nursery,they all eat, play and sleep at the same time.

ArnoldBee · 01/07/2023 17:21

And if you replicate the routine at home you'll be really helping your child.

Giltedged · 01/07/2023 17:26

Yes, and no, if that isn’t too contradictory.

I know MN tend to prefer childminders but I always found nurseries better for this because there were more staff and they weren’t tied into the routines of school runs and groups for older children. It’s a very personal preference though.

DS was ten months when he started at the baby room in nursery and they did try to match his routine as much as possible to the one at home.

I did find when he moved to the toddler room he fell into a routine naturally, I think he probably dropped to one nap quite young (about fifteen months) as a consequence.

BertieBotts · 01/07/2023 17:27

Wake windows is a newer thing and I don't think it's evidence based. It's useful to give you an idea about when to offer naps, and better (more flexible) than the time-based routines which were what wake windows came in to replace, but she's right that one longer nap vs 2 shorter ones is really much the same at this age. 9 months is probably a little young for just 1 nap but not totally unheard of.

Personally once they went to 2/1 naps I stopped thinking about their span of awake time.

Giltedged · 01/07/2023 17:28

I would say nine months is way, way too young for one nap in most cases. DS was on the young side when he went down to one nap at fifteen months!

Kitcaterpillar · 01/07/2023 17:28

Anoushkaka · 01/07/2023 14:18

Yes, children need to fit in with Childminders routine. It would be the same in a nursery,they all eat, play and sleep at the same time.

It's not the same in a nursery necessarily though? At mine, the babies have a cot room and they put them down as they actually need it, rather than en masse.

QforCucumber · 01/07/2023 17:29

Mine both went to nurseries where the baby room was under 12 months and most had 2 naps, then there was the 1-2 room where they seemed to start the transition to one and in preschool usually where they would drop them completely.

we use an after school childminder and she does school runs twice a day so unless babies sleep in pushchairs she has to get them up and out.

oh and @jannier DS2 is a nightmare for being sick when overtired, done it since he was tiny and still does now - it’s an odd thing but we always know he will wake up in the night and be sick if he stays up too late 🤦🏽‍♀️

underneaththeash · 01/07/2023 17:29

We had the same issue with DS1 and swapped to a nursery. The school run didn’t suit him (or me).

Giltedged · 01/07/2023 17:30

That was my experience too @Kitcaterpillar . DS once fell asleep on the way there and it wasn’t a problem. The baby room had big old fashioned prams in the garden and the babies slept there.

KateyCuckoo · 01/07/2023 17:33

I don't do school runs so they can nap when they need but it is useful if they are flexible and can nap on the go. Otherwise we'd never leave the house!

Lady1576 · 01/07/2023 17:49

At nurseries, they’ll put the babies down according to when they usually have a nap or hold them and let them fall asleep in arms while doing other things. I get that it’s hard to get one child to nap when you have lots of other children to look after but perhaps baby could nap in the car or pushchair for later ‘school run’ nap? That’s usually more of a catnap anyway isn’t it?

johnd2 · 01/07/2023 18:06

Starting at childcare is such a massive shock to the system that is hard to pin it down to incorrect napping or whatever. The child minder is trying to get to know your child and you at the same time, while trying to keep the routine for 2 others minimum.
You have to kind of hang in there and keep communicating and eventually it will get better.
Our minder used to write a daily report with nap, food and nappy times on it, which was really handy when he didn't always nap in the afternoon. We could just about squeeze a cat nap in when he got home if necessary.
Good luck! Stressful enough for the child, let alone the parent!

HAF1119 · 03/07/2023 05:23

What time is your little one at the minder from/until? We used childminder from an early age and nursery when older but still napping. The nursery was more flex with naps and he just napped at his normal times to be honest though it was very slightly different timings simply because they all ate at one time, but minders have 2 school runs

I'm just wondering about the timings as if it hits on the morning and afternoon school runs maybe buggy naps and the minder brings them inside in the buggy to finish the sleep might be the answer, or if they don't start too early then a slightly earlier wake up for 45 mins to have a feed and get dressed then put down right up until you leave was something I did for a while! Sounds crazy but he started 9am at the minder and was a 10 min journey so I got him up at 8.45 as I'd know then that he had his morning nap and would be fine until about 12.30 and nap with the others there

SquigglePigs · 03/07/2023 06:53

In a way he will adjust to different patterns in different places but care also needs to be appropriate to the child and their age. No way should a 9m old be on one nap a day. My DD went to nursery and all the kids in the baby room were on 2 a day and it was more ad hoc. She dropped the second nap at about 20m old. All the kids on one nap went to sleep after lunch, so that bit is normal, just not this young! I know it's easier said than done but I'd be looking for alternative care if that's her attitude.

jannier · 03/07/2023 12:47

Kitcaterpillar · 01/07/2023 17:28

It's not the same in a nursery necessarily though? At mine, the babies have a cot room and they put them down as they actually need it, rather than en masse.

Show quote history

Most childminders also put babies down when they need it. Not all nurseries have a separate sleeping area so they tend to be only offering en masse sleep..it's also a staffing thing

jannier · 03/07/2023 12:50

Giltedged · 01/07/2023 17:30

That was my experience too @Kitcaterpillar . DS once fell asleep on the way there and it wasn’t a problem. The baby room had big old fashioned prams in the garden and the babies slept there.

Guidance on sleeping in prams was changed after the child died sleeping in a pram at nursery.

SunnyFrost · 03/07/2023 12:52

Our nursery was able to put younger babies down according to their established routines, although eventually of course most just have a long after lunch nap. I know second siblings etc often have to fit in with school runs etc, but in paid for childcare then personally my preference is for my child’s needs to come first rather than being forced to dash out to pick other kids up at the time they need to be napping. I guess it comes down to how much you personally prefer what a childminder offers. For me it was totally unappealing and we found an outstanding nursery we have been delighted with.

Giltedged · 03/07/2023 12:59

Well, they were recently inspected, all fine @jannier . I have no idea of the guidance but they were particular types of prams, not your Bugaboos or Eggs

Ultimately we all make a decision for our children that suits them and us - if something just isn’t working it doesn’t mean it’s a bad setting, just not right at this time.

NuffSaidSam · 03/07/2023 13:05

It's a bit of both. He will need to fit in with school runs etc. but I would expect her to be doing her best to make sure he has enough sleep.

At 9 months I think he probably does need two naps, but maybe a shorter nap in the morning, in the buggy and then a long nap around lunch time in a cot.

You need to find a compromise.

Lindy2 · 03/07/2023 13:15

The childminder will be aiming for him to fit in with the overall daily routine. It might take a bit of time to adjust to it.

Often children will have a completely different home and childcare routine but usually manage well with it.

A nanny would be the only childcare who could tailor the daily activities specifically around your child's current naps as they would only have your child to look after.

Flip