Thoughts on baby slings?

[Spockrates]

I ordered one of those baby carrier things where u strap your baby to your front, I have a 6 week old with reflux and cmpa, and sometimes she doesn’t settle so I can’t get out of the room and I can’t carry her in my arms and do house work and cook dinner with her in my arms, so I ordered one but I’m concerned about the heat will my body heat be too much for her to be in one during the hot weather? Right now I have no life I can’t cook I can barely get any house work done and living like this is really affecting my mental health so I thought getting one would be a good idea because I can just strap her to me and get on with my day but my mum doesn’t recommend she said it will spoil her, she’ll want to be carried all the time, and in the long run it won’t be a good idea as I’ll never be able to put her down if I get her too use to being carried all the time, she said it will make it hard to get a baby sitter too when I go back to work because all she’ll do is cry for me, she’s currently 6 weeks old, this is making me apprehensive about using it, right now our routine is I feed her if she falls asleep I put her in her cot but if she’s alert and awake I talk to her, play with her or sometimes just lay with her, she doesn’t let me walk away from her or she’ll cry it’s hard to get anything done so does anyone recommend?

You can't spoil a baby by offering them what they need. You can make them feel safe, secure and loved.

I adored my slings and had many of them. In summer, I used a lightweight wrap and kept the baby in just a nappy and vest.

Not true. My baby lived in a sling for her first 6 months, she even took all her naps in it. She's 5 now and isn't clingy or spoilt and she settled into nursery easily at 6 months old. Use the sling!

Definitely try the sling. 6 weeks is so little, she will love to feel close to you while you go about your day. You can’t “spoil” an infant, she doesn’t understand what’s happening, she just knows that she feels better when she is with you. In a few months things will be completely different, she will have different needs and you’ll work it out then.

This has some good advice for safe sling use in summer.

https://www.sheffieldslingsurgery.co.uk/2014/07/22/summer-slings-and-keeping-safe/

My babies lived in slings. They are THE BEST. Wonderful for baby, wonderful for mum. Kids are now teens. Slings did not harm them in any way, only helped! Do it!!

In fact I was talking just last week to a friend who had children in parallel w mine, and who slung her second (seeing how great it was) - said she wished she’d done it w the first too. Just because it’s so special and lovely to have them so close…

She’s six weeks old. She still thinks she’s part of you. Read about attachment theory. Children have to learn dependence before they can be independent - they are more likely to be able to self-soothe when older if they feel safe as tiny infants. You categorically cannot spoil a baby. Carry her and enjoy the closeness. It’s good for your mental health too (that lovely oxytocin release).

only thing is, a lot of slings aren’t ergonomic and hurt your back. Try a Tula or an Ergo rather than a Baby Bjorn, they’re much more comfy. My babies lived in slings like little kangaroos and grew into very independent children :)

Agreed, your mums ideas about ‘spoiling’ the baby are outdated. Babies love to be strapped to their mums and many feel they’re safest and most secure that way. Secure children are the ones that are able to separate and be independent when they are confident, those that don’t get parental support when they need it are more likely to be insecure and clingy. As a general rule, there’s more to it than that but I’d say get the spoiling idea out your head. I had a few slings but never used them as much as I wanted due to back pain, unfortunately.

Ignore your mum and her comments. You make your own choice how you want to parent your child and if that involves carrying them - that's your prerogative.

But that aside - yes I highly recommend! I used mine aaallll the time with my firstborn, as did my DH. They're now 2y8m and very independent and confident. Only stopped carrying them shortly after turning 2. Now I use with my 9w old newborn since a few days old and it enables me to get out and about with the toddler, cook clean and continue our lives.

Have a look for a sling library near you for advice:

https://www.carryingmatters.co.uk/sling-pages/

In the nicest possible way, your mother sounds like a blithering idiot. Does she know many 6 year olds who insist on being carried around? You cannot spoil a baby.

Your baby is 6 weeks, you’re both having a tough time, a carrier is a possible help or solution. Even if she was right (she’s absolutely definitely not) now is not the time to give a toss about the longterm, you do what makes life easier today, tomorrow and next week.

My 3 month old loves being in the carrier and it makes life so much easier. I was running late to get my preschooler earlier and got the sling on, baby in and out the door in about 2 minutes. I’ve got a stretchy wrap one and a caboo and love them both.

@Tygertiger i just ordered a ergo one as well after reading your comment so now I have 2 on the way, the one I originally ordered i realise now isn’t considered a sling it’s u know the ones with the straps I don’t know what they’re called this is all new to me the ones with the clips, I ordered that one because I was scared I wouldn’t be able to use the sling properly and I saw a news article about a baby who suffocated in one so do u have any YouTube tutorials you’d recommend about putting on the sling correctly as it’s seems a lot cooler for summer use than the one I originally ordered

I absolutely hated slings and with twins they didn't work well either.
But no baby is spoiled by using them.
If they work for you then great.

My mum was always quite weird about slings too and quite keen to tell me it would be different if I had two, or it wouldn't work for everyone and all sorts of random examples that really didn't have any bearing on my life or situation.

You likely will get a bit sticky at this time of year but you won't overheat her. Just remember the sling counts as a layer so she won't need to be wearing much. Otherwise, they're the best. I used to get out walking every day and generally pottering about, it was so good for me. She's an entirely normal toddler now who is happy at nursery and being cared for by other people.

@Kitcaterpillar i ordered an ergo sling and an infanto swift classic carrier which would do u think would be better to use kind of nervous about the sling as I don’t know how to wrap it properly I would be worried incase I wasn’t using it safely I saw an article awhile back about a baby who suffocated in one :(

I'm probably your mum's age, and dh and I carried our dc in slings. It's hardly a newfangled thing!

It did not spoil them or make it harder for them to settle for other people. It was lovely for us and for them.

Dh favoured the Baby Bjorn, whereas I liked one whose name I don't remember, but had a soft pad you tied to the baby and long straps you wrapped around the baby and yourself in a multitude of ways, depending how you wanted to wear the baby. I also had a couple of different ring slings. The adjustable one was very useful for breastfeeding a younger baby in while keeping mobility and a hand free to help an older child. The other was microfleece and useful as a pram/carseat blanket which could be used as an emergency sling for any age small dc, for example carrying a tired 4yo.

So slings have been around and used for ages. They do not harm the baby in any way. They make life easier for the parents. And they are such a lovely way of being close with your children.

BTW the best slinging advice I was given - by a sling manufacturer's rep - was that the baby was well-positioned if you could comfortably kiss the top of their head.

Enjoy your baby

Hi @Aparecium the sling I ordered is called ergo baby doesn’t really look like it supports baby’s head tho?

An ergo will be fine and will have instructions too for use with newborns. It’s also one with straps, it’s not one just made of a piece of cloth? But more comfy than a lot of the other carriers out there.

Important to remember that prams are newer than slings and majority of the world's population carry their babies!

Definitely use the sling. They can be a bit tricky to put on- look up sheen slings on youtube and she has videos for most of them. I liked the soft caboo for my tiny boy, then Beco for when he got a little bigger (6 weeks is already ok for Beco- it has more structure so really saves your back). Baby will love being in sling and being able to see what you're doing/bounce along as you walk.

To add extra support to the baby's neck you can roll up a small Muslin and tuck it round

DD2 lived in the sling for the first three months of her life! I think they're almost mandatory with a second child, I don't know how we would have managed without. She is 12mo and I still use the carrier a lot.

I used a Close Caboo soft sling for the first three or four months or so and then switched to a Tula Explore. I'm not very good at tying and wrapping slings so the Close Caboo was pretty idiot proof!

Birth to 3 months is often called the fourth trimester. Many babies are happier if you try and recreate that womb feeling by swaddling and carrying them around. It doesn't spoil them - it reassures them and they often nap better as they are cosy and can feel your heartbeat.

Do you see the children in cultures where carrying is standard being clingy? No. They develop normally and happily.

I carried my August born son and he loved it. It was often hot for me but he would enjoy the sensation and I got to look after my other 2 kids hands free.

Is your mum from a generation where they schedule fed and had children cry it out using Ferber Method or Doctor Spock? Thinking is different these days

@BoohooWoohoo yes my mum schedule fed us I’m currently wearing her in the sling now her legs seem pretty spread like a frog is that ok for her legs to be spread like that or do they need to hang more straight? I think it’s my post partum belly making her legs spread so wide worried it will affect the development of her hips?

Frog leg is ideal position for hip development. They should never hang straight.

Which Ergo do you have? Slings are fantastic and it's possible to carry very safely in warm weather but I would not use the Ergo infant insert, which is only needed in some models, in hot weather.

'Frog' legs are the optimum. It is very bad for a baby's hips for their legs to hang straight down in a carrier which only supports the crotch. The fabric of your sling should reach her knee pits and her legs should be in an M shape, with her bottom slightly lower than her knees. Baby should be high on your chest with her head resting against your sternum, and you should be able to kiss the top of her head comfortably.

Babywearing is very safe if you follow the TICKS guidance - see the image.

It's a personal choice. I'm not a fan and my baby doesn't like them either but they are worth a try.