Childminder needs advice on how to let someone go!

[tetti]

I've had a child with me for almost 2 years,a lovely wonderful little girl.I get on with her parents as well and they have almost become like family.

However,the hours of work are too long(up to 8 pm),and as I have a child who's started school,it's really started to affect our homelife.
Also,there are other factors involved,for eg;I never know what my income will be as our schedule varies greatly from week to week due to the parents nature of work.
The y are also expecting another child,and as I'm only registered to look after 2 children,I cannot take on their new baby due this autumn (so they'll have to look for someone else eventually anyway,although we have not discussed this issue yet)
I look after another child who'm I also adore,and I am not prepared to let him go as I have a fantastic relationship with his parents,the mum has become a very close friend,and the hours are great.

But how do you break the news to this family that I have to let them go?
I know they really rely on me,and the lady has had a bit of a troublesome pregnancy,and no doubt this would bring added stress on her that she does not need.
But,I have to be selfish here,this situation is affecting my child.I need the eves free to help her with her home work,and get her settled into her routine.She should be in bed by 8pm,but that's often when these parents come to collect their child.
How can I do this in the most kind way possible? I know they will def be very upset,angry and dissapointed,but I just cannot avoid lettong them go.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated,thank you:-)

couldnt you say it would be better for both her dc to go to the same cm,and explain that your dd needs some time with you on her own.i never work after 6 this suits me so i can spend 2 hrs with my kids.sorry not much help.

I'd give them LOTS of notice (I think I have to give my CM 8 weeks?) rather than putting it off. Much fairer for them to know in advance and have time to look for new childcare.

In our contract we have agreed on 4 weeks notice,but I will be able to give them 6 weeks.
I feel absolutely awful about having to let them go,and am dreading it tbh as they have been with me for so long.
It's very difficult to do it in a way,so that they will not feel upset,especially since the lady is pregnant,but I cannot keep them on as it affects my own life too much(what with these crazy hours they require).
The mother has also sometimes been a bit awkward in regards to the fees,trying to get out of paying her holiday fee,days off sick fees etc which we agreed on in the contract.
There are alot of issues that I won't go into here (as it'd probably bore you to tears).Whilst her husband is very easy to deal with,she can sometimes be rather difficult.So whilst I think he'll probably take it better,she will definetly not deal with it well.
I can understand that,their child needs stability and she is settled with me,but I just cannot carry on just to please them,not when things aren't working,and hasn't been for quite some time.

Tetti
The best thing is to be honest with the parents, don't try to speak for them with things like: wouldn't it be better for you if you did this, etc which will irriate them. It's perfectly reasonable to say, the hours etc just aren't working for me, I'm really sorry. 8 pm is a very late finish time if you're starting in the morning, and I say that as someone who has a nanny because we really need a later finish on some occasions. I'm not surprised you're finding it rough going.

Tell them it your new year sesolution to spend more time alone with your family, and whilst you know it may be awkward for them, you have to stick to your decision re hours etc.
at the end of the day they would change jobs if their hours were making home life miserable, and would not think on no i must keep working excessive hours or my childminder may not meet her mortgage.
it taken me a while to get my heaD round but YOU WORK FOR YOUR SELF SO YOU SET YOUR HOURS. IF YOU HAD A BOSS YOU WOULD BE GOING TO YOUR BOSS TO SEE IF YOU COULD WORK LESS OR EARLIER HOUSE ETC.

FAMILY FIRST, CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY BILLS I KNOW

I've had a very similar situation myself here - what I did was to firstly ring around other childminders to see if they had capacity/would be willing to take on such a contract. In the end I found three childminders and was able to pass on their details to my parent who was grateful - she then chose who she wanted and obviously had the chance to ring around herself.

In the end you have to put your family first.

I just rang my parent and arrnaged a time for me to go and see her - explained the situation as plainly as could be and she totally understood. She was also very pleased that I had found some alternatives for her to consider (although I did stress to her that the other childminders were UNKNOWN to me personally but had such capacity).

does this help?

Mary

I would add that I ignored the 0 capacity on the surestart link and phoned anyway as I know they are slow in updating their database.
M

Thank you Mary,I actually thought yesterday about contacting other childminders to see if the possibly have any vacancies,with hours suiting this family.That is a very good idea,and it will also perhaps take some pressure of the family when it comes to searching for a new childminder.
Before I had an ideal person in mind,a more mature lady who's a qualified nanny and who could work from their home(which is what I think they'd ideally be looking for).
Unfortunately though (well,for this family),she found a job yesterday!
It would have been great to have someone of who'm I could say-This person's great,i really recommend her.
But on Mond I'll definetly call round the childminders in the area,and in their local area to see who may be able to accommodate their little girl,and then pass on the details to them.

It's a hard thing to do,isn't it,letting someone go after sucha long time,but yes,I def do need to put my own family first.
Also,I'm a single parent,so I need to have a set income,with this family I never know how much I'll earn each month which can be difficult.

You could also say that you are revising your childminding setting and have decided, for family reasons, to limit your minding to a part time capacity and will therefore be varying your contract (or something like that) and giving her notice that you are no longer open - to her or anyone (you need to stress that bit, so that she knows its not personal) - on the capacity that you have been with her until now.

Most parents appreciate the straight and direct approach - I know, as a parent myself (part time childminder and part time worker also who employs a childminder herself - dont ask, its complicated!) I certainly wouldf and do.

Its tricky and very uncomfortable but if you do your groundwork first then hopefully you will ease the pressure - on you and on her.

Personally, I would ring around childminders this weekend, rather than wait until next week - it will give you a heads up. Also remember that although minders advertise on surestart (or childcarelink) it might be that the local authority is not up to date on updating their database. When you ring round, be confident and stick with the fact that you are having to let the family go due to your existing family commitments - which is a 'shame' as you have found them personally to be really lovely blah blah blah - sell it, basically!

Good luck, let me know how you get on.

Mary