Help with a newborn!

[aiti72]

Sorry this is long, but we really need your help! We are expecting our second daughter (DD1 is 3 now) in July and are now totally confused what kind of childcare help would be best for our family when DD2 arrives. We have no family close by (in this country), DP cannot take any time off work and I have a heart condition, which means I cannot function when sleep deprived.

I would like to breastfeed for a while (gave both bottle and breast to DD1 until 3months old, then happily stopped breastfeeding), but would that mean hiring a night nurse is useless? Then I thought it doesn't matter what time of the day I get some sleep, and maybe we hire someone a few hours during daytime (but then she should take care of both DDs!). Should I just let a night/day nurse give DD2 a bottle and try breastfeeding when I'm awake (worked with DD1) or is it most probable than she wouldn't take breast after getting used to a bottle? How do (partly) breastfeeding mothers organise this when hiring help with a newborn? Our house is too small for a live-in help and I'm starting to panic already. Any advice..?

1. What's your budget?
2. Do you need someone highly qualified and experienced, or someone to help you out in the day?

A maternity nurse will set you back several hundred a week (live-in) in the the UK, but will work 24 hours a day, 6 days a week. A mother's help will work part or full time between roughly 7am -7pm, probably Monday to Friday, though much is negotiable, and you're looking at paying £10 an hour tops, less for cash in hand.

There are options in between these two, obv.

what about an au pair as you will be in the house and she could play with the 3yr old while you feed baby or sleep

or maybe a childminder as then the house will be quite and you can sleep in peace

or send your 3yr old to nursery during the day and you sleep when baby sleeps and then again when your dh comes home

WanderingTrolley, thank you for your advice.

1. We are in London, so we were expecting having to pay several hundred a week (really desperate here..). However, due to lack of space we cannot have a live-in help, would a maternity nurse come for nights or days or is it even more expensive?
2. I guess as I will be in the house we don't need a maternity nurse with the highest qualifications, however, I need to know that she has experinece with newborns. I though mother's helpers were quite young girls am I wrong?

dmo, I know it sounds stupid, but I never managed to sleep when baby sleeps so I really need someone to take over completely for a few hours.

Aitit - You are not alone, I couldn't sleep either, the whole nap when they nap thing just never worked for me. I am still tired 2 years later

I think a "maternity nurse" or mothers help/nanny is what you need to take them both on.

Live out maternity nannies will want at least £10 per hour, possibly more at night time. www.nightnannies.co.uk might be able to help you.

Some experienced nannies looking to get more work with newborns before moving into full-time maternity work might be able to help - possibly someone who has a part-time nanny job already and has done a course in maternit work such as the MNT.

Alternatively have you considered a post-natal doula?

What is a post-natal doula, how is it different from maternity nurse? I don't really need help with house or anything like that, just someone to take away my kids.

As a maternity nanny, I have done occasional night work for parents who wanted a break. In all cases, the babies were fed using bottles, though some did have EBM (expressed breast milk). As you will be at home, it is possible that the maternity nanny, doula, or whatever brings DD2 to you, as and when feeding is required. This however would disrupt your sleep... so expressing milk may be an alternative option. By using EBM (or formula) your DP could also do some feeds if he felt so inclined.

I know a maternity nanny who does Night Nannying - Lisa - not sure if she covers all of London, or just South West London. Could be worth a e-mail/call.

Thanks nannynick, I'll drop her an e-mail to ask.

hi aiti72,
i am a maternity nurse/night nanny and i cover london if you would like i can email you my cv.
[email protected]

kind regards louise

Hi aity72,
I do some day / night maternity work as well, if interested please contact me for CV [email protected]