Confused about whether to send child to nursery or not.

[BlueStar2021]

I’m looking for opinions on whether my DS would benefit from going to another setting. My child will get three year old funding in January (turns three at the end of this year) but the preschool I want him to go to might not have a place for him until September 2024 (which is his full nursery year) when he’ll be nearly four years old. In September 2024 my DS should be almost guaranteed a place. The preschool I like is on the same site where my child will go to school but is separately managed from the school.

Currently I work part time and my parents look after my DS. He loves going to their house and he does a playgroup every day with them. Once a week he is looked after by other people in a church crèche for about an hour. This is the only time he is not looked after by family. It took a long time for him to settle him there but he is very happy now. I also do a couple of classes with him on my days off and he has good relationships with the adults who run these classes.

There is a local nursery that my child could go to a couple of mornings a week, with grandparents doing the rest of the time. This is a very small nursery and is run a bit like a large childminders with a home (rather than school) environment. The only downside is that to have a funded place available in January 2024 I will probably have to pay for hours for the next few months or risk there not been a place for him in January.

I’m not sure what to do for the best. I have no concerns with my DS’s development so I’m reluctant to pay for nursery I don’t necessarily need or want. My DS mixes with other children every day and gets on well with others and therefore I think he’d be fine if I didn’t use funded hours and he stayed with grandparents until a preschool place comes available, even if this is in September 2024.

On the other hand I wonder if DS would benefit from time away from family and worry that he’ll be missing out somehow if I don’t send him to some setting until preschool and I should pay and send him to nursery from now on so he has a funded place available. Grandparents don’t mind either way. I’d love other people’s opinions on what they think would be best for my DS. Thank you.

Hi 👋🏻 nursery nurse here! I'd ask the grandparents first and foremost. They are offering you (I assume) free childcare. I'm sure they understand its potentially for a short period of time, and they may want to carry on until your DS gets his funded hours (and not many grandparents get the opportunity to spend this much time with their grandchildren) but maybe check that they are happy to carry on? From your timescale, they will be helping out for the next 6 to 15 months. That's a big jump of time they are putting aside for you. They may feel it becomes a chore, instead of a pleasure. Or that they are being taken advantage of. (I don't know your circumstances of if they have helped out your siblings - if you have any - in a similar way with their children).

I would personally take the spot coming up, as it would be beneficial for any child to have some time away from family, but only if you think he would be able to settle down ok. Talk to your spouse (if you have one) and the grandparents and try and talk openly with your thoughts. I find that with family, if you're open and honest from the beginning, things are a lot more smoothly sorted. I would also explain the cut off points for applying/joining nurseries to them, so if they change their minds, they know when they have to update you by.