What is the etiquette on trying to poach nannies at toddler groups?

[thornberet]

I don’t know whether to be annoyed or not. Our nanny takes DD2 to a toddler group once a week and one of the other mums of a baby asked if my nanny would work for her when she goes back to work. I have our nanny 3 days a week and the other mum is going back 4 days, so it obviously wouldn’t work to do both. Is this par for course? Our nanny has luckily stayed loyal but just mentioned it flippantly.

I don't think there's any harm in asking - for all the other mother knows, you're moving house next month and have told the nanny you won't need her soon.

Slow down, how do you know the "poacher" knew how many days your nanny is with you? I wouldn't get too upset about it, your Nanny may one day leave for another better option, and there won't be anything you can do about it. It's a job not a calling.

If you go back to work and are offered better terms or conditions by a competitor are they being out of order? Why is childcare automatically a case of loyalty to parents over self?

Is it 'poaching' or the nanny choosing who she wants to work for? Surely she's allowed to do this?

Maybe she has 2 days sorted elsewhere. Do you need exclusive or might a nanny share work?

There's no harm in asking. The other mum doesn't know whether you treat your nanny well or if you're open to a share or if she's moving on in September. You don't know that she might be able to make it work with your nanny two days a week and nursery/family member the other days.

Just be glad that you've obviously got a good nanny if people who see her out and about want to poach her.
If she resits poaching to stay with you you're obviously treating her well too. It's a win-win.

So, be annoyed if you want, but it would be a completely pointless waste of an emotion!

No harm in asking. I've asked for CM's details at a toddler activity. Doesn't mean I want to nick her mindee's place, it's just making a connection. There's no law against politely enquiring about someone's availability.