How does having a nanny work for you?

[1mum2girls3dogs]

I’m a SAHM and have an 18 month daughter who does not stop. At all!
I’m due my second daughter in June, and we’ve decided to hire a nanny to help us as we have no family in the country and friends all work full time.

Firstly, trying to find an English speaking nanny
who is able to travel to where we live is proving difficult. We’re happy to subsidise travel expenses and we’re now happy to have someone who speaks English less than fluently.

But how do I know who will be right and how to choose? I’m looking through agency websites and I’m not even sure what my expectations are.

Want someone with experience, and who has initiative. I was looking at 2-3 days a week. But what happens when I want to spend time with my eldest before I have the baby? What does that nanny do?

Or what if my family come and visit and we go out for the afternoon. They love spending time with my 18mo, so what does the nanny do?

I’m very much all or nothing when it comes to giving directions etc.
I either try to micromanage and get frustrated that people don’t think in the same way as I do, or I say nothing and then feel like I can’t speak up.

Any suggestions or advice?

A pt nanny will be difficult to find and most of the nannies wouldn't want to nanny with the parent there. Blurred lines.

If your ME / Asia it would be the norm to have a 'maid' (hate that term) who would help with childcare but also home duties. I grew up with a wonderful live in maid and we are still in touch now I'm over 40

Hello, former nanny here. It sounds very much like what you need is a mother's help or au pair, not a nanny, particularly if you are going to be around most of the time. Most professional nannies aren't really that keen on jobs where mum is around as it makes our job a hundred times harder! Maybe have a look at au pair agencies and see what they can offer you?

Are you in the UK? That's a start. Can't really help in terms of websites/agencies to go to to find one if we don't know where you are.

And please get your micro-managing under control before you hire someone. It will be the worst job and you'll struggle to keep someone/someone good.

Or what if my family come and visit and we go out for the afternoon. They love spending time with my 18mo, so what does the nanny do?

You can let her finish early (and still pay of course). When families do little gestures like this for their nanny, it will be a much better working relationship, and your nanny will be happy doing extra for you as well.