Should I take him out?

[FernGully43]

DS is 2 years 9 months old and goes to nursery 2 mornings a week. It started off really well, and he was really excited to go for the first few months. It's a small nursery with two rooms of 5 children each (perfect for DS as he's is quite a quiet, sensitive boy).

Illness hit in November, he had a long break and since then he's been a bit up and down with going. The difference was his nursery teacher. He loves her. I'll call her Sarah. He was meant to have a different teacher (I'll call her Zoe) but for personal reasons, she couldn't start the two day a week morning group, so Sarah agreed to do the two day until Zoe could come back (it was only meant to be a month or so). It turned into 7 months. Despite having some tears in the morning, Sarah was always able to calm him and take him, and we've never had a phonecall to pick him up as he's then always had fun.

Anyway, his original teacher came back and did 4 weeks alongside Sarah to get the children used to her (so 8 mornings - except she wasn't there 2 of them at least as I noticed on pick up). Zoe is virtually a stranger and has taken over the group now for the last 3 months. The only thing keeping my son at nursery was the other teacher in the other room as he saw her a lot too (he would come home and tell me the other teacher was changing his nappy and cuddling him when he fell over) but she wasn't there today and there was a substitute who he didn't know.

We've had our first phone call that my son is crying on and off constantly for mummy and we should come get him. I'm absolutely happy to get him and it's not an issue as I'm at home with his 3 month old brother.

My issue is I'm a bit annoyed at how fast they changed the teacher and for the fact it's only for the last 3 months. I know two others are struggling with the change too. I also know these things happen and I need to not be so precious as this nursery is lovely. I can't say a bad word about it and it has done wonders for my son's confidence around other children but I hate the thought of my son being distressed when he doesn't need to be.

Should I keep him in the last 3 months even if the crying continues? Or should I pull him out and keep him at home with me and start fresh in September? I'd keep paying the fee as we can afford it (it's not a lot) and they are struggling right now (no children on the waiting list so we're not taking a place either). Or do we just send him when the other teacher is there too so he has that familiarity?

Feel torn about what to do.

I’d give it more time, in my opinion 4 weeks crossover period to introduce the new teacher is pretty good but it sounds like your son is more sensitive than others and may need more time to get used to the change.

Keep things positive at home, occasionally mention the new teacher and say ‘she’s got a nice smile hasn’t she’, ‘she looks really fun’ etc, to show how comfortable you are and over time it will help.

If after 4 weeks or something he was still not settling them I would consider taking him out but give it a chance first, kids have to learn to adjust to change. When they start school the teachers are often changing

You can't change or influence staff changes, that's a down side to outsourcing childcare. Staff have the right to leave a job and settings will rehire often with no overlap and there's no time or budget for that. So I don't really understand where you think the nursery have been unreasonable.

Anyway, it's ultimately up to you. Do you want to help him settle and stay at the nursery or do you want to keep him at home?

If you take him out in order to start again in September I think you will set him back in settling. The staff could be vastly different by that point and he will have to settle in all over again which can be difficult on little ones. Sadly, it’s something he will need to get used to especially when he starts school.

currently there is a staffing crisis in early years settings. People are leaving in droves and settings are struggling to hire new staff. The fact there was a month long hand over is quite unusual and you were really lucky in that respect. If it’s a term time only setting, if there are new staff in September you likely won’t have that handover.

I was reading your post thinking an extended 4 week handover was really lovely and sensitive of the nursery and they must be really well staffed! Usually in nurseries staff are changed over with no handover due to running on minimum ratios and staff are often moved room or cover each other with no notice.