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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminders Club; Sorry girls-rant from ssd!

22 replies

ssd · 08/12/2004 18:56

Sorry but I'm really angry at something. There might be childminders on here who think it's trivial, but I'm totally pissed off. Anyone who's read my previous post might know I have one parent who is always late (for everything). Tonight she was 10 minutes late again and I know 10 mins. isn't long at all but THIS IS MY TIME WITH MY FAMILY.And it happens 90 % of the time now.Why do people take the piss? Do they think I'm worthless and my time means sod all to me? Apart from pissing me off, the kids are sitting there waiting to be collected and they're getting more unhappy as time goes on.So it affects everyone.

I'm sorry girls, I know there are much worse issues than someone being continually late in the world but I just feel so devalued and worth less nothing!

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Avalon · 08/12/2004 19:00

Can you charge her for being late? Perhaps she wouldn't do it then.

MrsBigDrumsADrumming · 08/12/2004 19:00

ssd haven't read your previous threads, but was wondering... have you spoken to the parent? If so and it was fruitless, couldn't you threaten him/her that if the timing doesn't drastically improve you will be unable to look after their child? I know, not fair on the kid that has probably nicely settled at your place but...

I'm lucky that my cm is very flexible, but if I'm running late I at least call her, not that it happens that often, but when I was working in Paddington, I sometimes fell victim to train debacles...

lockets · 08/12/2004 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarsselectionboxLady · 08/12/2004 19:09

I think that you should charge a late fee. Tell her it is something that you are introducing in the New Year (if you're not brave enough to introduce it now). Your late charge should be time and a half: whatever your hourly rate is and half again. It should either be charged as the full hour or for the half hour NOT 10 mins. The only way to get this parent to appreciate your time is to make her pay for it. You are running a business, not doing her a favour. I don't think that it is petty that you should be upset. I think that you have been more than reasonable. You should make an amendment in your contract and both of you sign and date it. hth

MaryP0p1 · 08/12/2004 19:29

When this has happends to me, it becomes time for me and Mum/Dad to sit and review the contract. We can then go through everything on the contract and including times (which is quite good anyway). When that parts mentioning time occur I normally say something like this time needs to be amended doesn't it. What time do you think is reasonable to expect you. They normally either cough up or make sure their on time in future!

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 08/12/2004 19:53

I'm not a childminder but if I was to be 10 minutes late to pick DS2 up from nursery, it would cost me £10. They charge £1 per minute after 6pm. It's a good deterrant!

gooseysgettingfat · 08/12/2004 19:56

It's the seemingly little things that build up big resentments and I would be annoyed too.
I make a note of the exact arrival and departure times and record them on weekly time sheets that I get out at the end of the week and ask the parents to sign at the same time as giving them a receipt for payment. I add up all the hours and minutes to make a final figure rounded up to the nearest hour. That way at least I know I am getting paid for every minute extra I work which helps stop any resentment.

Batters · 08/12/2004 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ssd · 08/12/2004 20:08

It's been suggested to me before to charge for extra time but I just don't want the money. I want the time with my family and to be respected as a fellow working mother.

The lateness is probably just the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.There are other issues involved,but I could overlook these if I didn't feel I'm having the piss taken out of me again and again.

I think it's time to call it a day,when the respect is gone for me that's it (and I mean MY respect for the parents).I think the respect for me might not ever have been there.

OP posts:

lisalisa · 09/12/2004 16:10

I've got another idea which may prevent the friction. Why don't you tell the mum that from 6.00pm ( or whatever the time is) is your precious time with your family and that you've therfore decided that the pick up should be 15 mins earlier than usual. If the scheduled pick up time is 6.00pm and she always arrives at 6.10pm you would tell her that you've changed pick up time to 5.45. If she continutes to be late by 10 mins then that's only 5.55pm so not really going past your pyshcological cut off time at 6.00pm.

This is assuming that you don't want to be paid for the extra 10 mins which I' suppose amounts to an extra 50 nmins over the week. If you do you'll just have to raise this clearly.

It is also assuming that you don't want to take issue with the mum on the basis of principle which would again necessitate a different approach.

MarsselectionboxLady · 09/12/2004 16:17

If I'm reading your posting correctly what you really want is to end this contract and start again with someone new. You are perfectly within your rights to do this. I know that you say that you don't want the money, but sometimes money is what stops the mickey taking. Why don't you give notice and start again with someone new in the New Year. When you do your new contract with the new parents state catergorically that you charge a high premium for lateness, but would prefer that parents arrived on time. Decide what it is that you want and then go for it. Don't let simmering resentment cloud your Christmas. (hope that didn't sound like nagging).

amynSaintnixmum · 09/12/2004 16:23

I really feel for you ssd. I am having the same problem with on of my parents and after a while it really winds you up that they are taking advantage. I think that you are right to stop minding their child if things have got this bad for you. I was very tempted to do the same with mine but situation is very complicated and I have decided to wait a couple of months and then reacess.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2004 16:25

I agree that a high late fee like the £1 per minute charged by DS2s nursery is more about deterring people than making money. The nursery upped the late fee because the previous amount still seemed like a good deal for 15 minutes or so extra.

Original poster

ssd · 09/12/2004 16:34

Thanks for the encouragement and wisdom girls .

I've given this parent notice as from today.

Next time I'll be wiser and will treat childminding in a more business-like way, instead of feeling I'm babysitting as a favour.
I guess age does come with experience .

OP posts:

princessfionaloveschristmas · 09/12/2004 16:36

SSD how much do you want to keep them?

I had to dismiss one family because of lateness

It is so rude

If you do not want them anymore then tell them to go somewhere else and then someone else can be stressed about them.

But if you want to keep them then that is totally different.

princessfionaloveschristmas · 09/12/2004 16:38

well done

MarsselectionboxLady · 09/12/2004 16:41

Good on you. There are plenty of childminders on here who can give you advice on contracts for next time. Just remember that it is your business, not a favour to the service users. Really proud of you. Hope your next set of clients are more reasonable.

KatieMaChristmas · 09/12/2004 18:31

Sorry SSD I didn't see this til just now....you are brave and giving notice sounds like the best thing to do....but brave at this time of year. However some of my best contracts started in January....
Sacking someone is a pain isn't it

Original poster

ssd · 10/12/2004 07:02

Yes, it is a pain .
I just know it's the right thing for me and my family. As I said there were more things involved than lateness and everything added up made me feel I ought to give up and try to get someone new.I am worried about money as my income is effectively halfed (YIKES) and I just hope I can get someone soon....

But thanks again to everyone who posted, I don't have any childminders in RL to discuss this with so mumsnet is invaluable!

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virginMary · 10/12/2004 07:06

i have a similar problem! My contarct with one set of parents says i finish at 5.30pm BUT they always come to collect her at 6pm! Im in early stages of pregnancy and am exhausted by 5.30 but dont know how to tell them i want her to go at 5.30 cos they are friends of mine but my dh says they are taking advantage now!

Original poster

ssd · 14/12/2004 08:01

VM, that does sound unfair.The thing is, you know in yourself how you feel about something like this.I don't know of anyone who wouldn't feel resentful after a while,esp. with you being pregnant....

I know it's difficult, but could you not say to them you've been sick in the early evening and you just can't manage then? I know it's mad to have to lie,but if you find confrontation hard (I do!)then maybe a white lie would come in useful..

Good luck with it all!

OP posts:

KangaSantaMummy · 14/12/2004 09:52

VM I agree with SSD that is so unfair

I agree also that talking about having evening sickness is a brill excuse.

It is really hard though when they are friends isn't it?

Good luck

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