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School holiday for separated parents

4 replies

Blakeybobbins81 · 03/04/2023 12:08

Why does every school holiday fall on me.. dad has them for tea Tues and Thurs and over night in a sat.. he has them one night a week and I have them six. He’s booked zero time off over Easter and not offered to have them any extra even though it’s bank hol mon coming up. Summer holidays usually 7 weeks long.. he will take them away for 3/4 days and that’s his contribution. I don’t work due to health money is limited but I’m the one feeling so guilty for the kids while all their pals are away on holidays and breaks and I just can’t afford it whereas he can.. asked if he’s taking the kids away this summer as me and my parents managed to get a holiday with the kids to Turkey last summer and he said he couldn’t afford it because I (separated for 12 years) wouldn’t be on hand to take the kids if he was called out for work over Xmas. He has been with his new partner 4 years and I don’t see that it’s my place to help him with his work schedule especially when the cal out was voluntary. The kids have said dad can’t take us away because you wouldn’t help him with his work hours…. Yet he’s booked a week in benidorm with the lads. Absolutely at my wits end with him swanning about and doing the bare minimum. He has them 23 hours a week / 2 tea times and a sat night as I’ve said but the kids see it as they are there three days a week….. they go three days but two are only for a couple of hours.

OP posts:
Mumof1andacat · 03/04/2023 12:33

Do you have an arrangement via the courts? Might be time for one

SpinningFloppa · 03/04/2023 12:44

You can't force him to even court cant. Could be worse, my ex has never had our kids overnight ever.

jackstini · 03/04/2023 12:47

Does he pay the right amount of CS?

Sad that he doesn't want to spend time with them, and you can't force that, but he needs to step up financially so you get what you deserve money wise and can afford to do things with them

Happyasapiginmuck1 · 03/04/2023 13:01

Welcome to my world! Been in this position for 4 years. I tried on the lead up to each holiday to get an agreement as to which extra days he'd have the little one. 2 days before the answer would be "I can't, I'm working". He didn't grasp the concept that I work as well. So, I'd have to ask friends, cancel work etc. Now I make the assumption that he'll do certain days, I tell him what days these are and he can pay for/arrange childcare on those days if he isn't prepared to take off work. I make any arrangements for what me and the little one are doing, book holidays, days out, weekends away etc and then he can fit around these. I've spent 3.5 years trying to take him into consideration so now I don't waste my time doing that.

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