Nursery or childminder

[webster1987]

I recently posted as my DS1 is due to start nursery next week and his settling in sessions have really not gone well as he remains upset the entire time. He is at his happiest at home with mum and dad, and he is very cautious of new environments and new people. He needs a lot of affection and reassurance before feeling more confident to explore independently. We knew nursery was going to be a big challenge for him but now it's a reality, it's a huge worry that it's just not for him.

I have discussed the alternative option or a childminder with DH. We both work within the criminal justice system in a frontline child protection role and so are naturally more heightened to concerns of this nature. I feel that perhaps the environment of a childminder might be better suited to our DS as it's likely to be quieter, more like home life, and more attention/affection. My DH has raised concerns, however, about not being able to effectively risk assess as we have no control over who enters that home environment and no safeguards if the one childminder working alone is not doing the job effectively. The thinking with nursery therefore being that more than one member of staff to increase chances of safeguarding and security measures to prevent any randoms.

None of these settings are without risk, I know that only too well. But I would like to hear other's opinions on this please.

Mine went to both a child minder and then nursery. I felt mine were happier at the nursery. It takes a little while to settle but they loved it. I also feel they are safer at nursery with more people about.

Well I'm a childminder so I'm biased. I did two weeks in a nursery at one point and quit as to me it was battery farmed children. Unless they can explain why they don't have a waiting list then most good childminders in most areas would be full. Some childminders work with assistants. Childminders actually have less children to staff ratio. If you know a childminder ask them who's good. Sadly I do personally know of a couple local CM i would never recommend but I know if nursery's I'd not recommend either. When visiting CM ask how long the kids they have on roll have been with them. High turnover of kids means unhappy parents.

I used a childminder from when I went back to work (around a year old with both) then I introduced some sessions at the school nursery once they'd turned 3 and now I use the same childminder for wraparound care and school holidays.
That combination has worked really well for me plus getting a childminder earlier on meant that when both kids started school I wasn't scrambling around for wraparound care, whereas friends who used day nurseries sometimes have to then use the school clubs (if any are running, round here a lot are reducing hours etc as they aren't viable, as a lot of people wfh pop out to do a school run post COVID) which I feel is a long day in school and a childminder provides a more "home from home"'service and there's less children there so it's more personal.
Someone said to me when my first was a baby about doing this and it was good advice.

I don't think you can decide in the abstract as there are good nurseries and bad, bigger and smaller, and the same with childminders. So it depends on the specific ones available to you.

The childminders I looked at did a lot of evil runs etc and the day seemed not very focused on my DC so I've been much happier with the nursery I chose.

I get so upset by these posts. You have no intention of using a childminder but have just come along to throw mud at childminders.

Funny enough I could name far more nurseries/workers than registered childminders who have been prosecuted for abuse or death of children in their care.

You have no control over who enters a nursery, either. It's up to the nursery, just as it's up to the childminder, to check they are suitable and to bar anyone who is not. Both should have safeguarding procedures in place and should keep a record of visitors.

Mine went to a childminder and she was fabulous. They went out all the time and she did so much with them. They got so much care and attention. They did a mix of childminder and nursery in their pre-school year to help get them ready for school. This was perfect for us and I’m so pleased we did it this way.

We use a childminder part-time and then added on nursery when DD got to three.

The childminder is very experienced and has her own adult children. She only does one school run if that per day.

(The CM's husband due to the job he does has to be enhanced DBS checked in his own right.)

Anyway DD will be one of the oldest in the year when she goes to school and has been finding nursery boring since January. However she still likes going to her childminder.

Both childminder and nursery are hot on safeguarding due to the jobs of the parents their charges have/had and some of the charges they look/have looked after.

Point is if you make it clear what role you do then any early years provider who accepts your child will know they can't get away with being slack on their safeguarding.

Remember early years providers can make up reasons not to accept your child if they think you as parents will be too difficult for them to deal with.

The childminder system is that all adults living on the premises are checked my understanding for this is that should anyone registered at the premises be involved with the police it is flagged to Ofsted unlike other Childcare settings.
In nurseries children are left alone with one adult and you still get the issue of does a 17 year old (or to be fair any employee) feel confident and able to risk their job to whistleblow?
With a childminder you can talk to other parents to the childminder and their families and get a feel of who exactly is with your child. With a nursery staff can change daily you don't get the same chats to build up a real partnership and often the handover person is not one of the people who spent time with them.

My daughter left her job at nursery because of things like being told 20 minutes to change 11 nappies including getting children from the garden and playroom plus doing assistance in the toilet was too long in the managers opinion. It all was a conveyor belt feeding, snacks everything.
As an assessor I've been in the lucky position of seeing how a nursery really works as I have no authority like Ofsted and am not a parent they forget about me and I see how they really run children in highchairs lined up in 4s and fives fed by one person not paying attention, chats about nights out, staff not opening the door until everyone has had a chance to return to rooms, diaries completed for the day at 10 am. It can easily be made to look good because access to the public is controlled.

We looked at both and in the end went for a childminder who had been recommended by another parent we knew. Then it was a preschool from 3 (when we could get the hours) plus pick up from the CM. We really like the way the CM is a homely environment and our child built a strong bond with the CM and other kids who also go regularly. It then also worked well going to preschool age 3 as it a more enriching environment with more to do, more kids to play with and more opportunities to learn new skills.

For a young child under around 2.5/3 I think I'd generally opt for a CM or nanny as they need nurturing and a close bond to their carer IMO. However I know plenty of parents who've been happy with their choice of nursery. The key in getting a feel for the right setting for your child and to trust your instincts.

Have used both for DS1. Have only used nursery for DD2. Our reasons to always prefer nursery (reasons obviously personal to us) have been as follows -

1. We didn’t like relying on a 1 adult service in terms of predictability and solidity of childcare. With the best of intentions - in a 1 person show, 1 burst of illness at their end/their kids being I’ll meant sudden cancellation of childcare. This has never happened at nursery.
2. we didn’t like the notion of 1 adult - with no fellow adult around for accountability as childcare. We like the fact that there are multiple adults at nursery - and everyone can keep an eye on each other. We like policies being followed as part of a team of carers at work rather than needing to rely on what 1 individual person says they have done/abided by.
3. we didn’t like the notion of our small babies/toddlers dragged around on school runs. We’ve often been told “but that’s part of life! We stop to look at the birds and bees instead of being caged into the bars of an institution! They learn so much chatting to each other on the school run” - but no it isn’t for us. I see far far too many childminders on their phones at bus stops, and too many children being towed around. Not for us. We prefer our kids to be at nursery, spend their time doing whatever they do in the massive garden, vegetable patch, water play area and whatever else they do. If they’ve severely missed out on the school run - I think they’ll cope with the damages.
4. We didn’t want to work around childminder holidays. Nursery doesn’t close except bank holidays. We take our holidays when we wish, we don’t have to coordinate with when carers have their holidays.

There are more reasons surely, but having used a childminder for DS for the first 2 years, his next few EYFS years and then DD now - life has been so much better for them and us with a nursery.

staff not opening the door until everyone has had a chance to return to rooms,

@jannier what do you mean? Opening the door to parents? We can just walk in to our DDs' nursery (with fingerprint controlled access) - is that not normal?

Anyway, OP I don't think there's much point in generalising. A great nursery will be better than a bad childminder. I'd look into both types locally, and pick your preferred setting without pre-deciding on a type.

I wasn’t happy to use a childminder unless it was on recommendation from someone I know personally. And I couldn’t manage to get that, so we ended up using nursery (one that loads of my colleagues had used and recommended). Worked out well.

I chose a nursery as I felt there was more accountability in place and it was a more controlled environment. Everyone has a different opinion though.

This is why I chose a nursery, OP. As for the poster saying they know more nursery staff who've done wrong than childminders, who is going to notice a childminder abusing children? It's a wildly different environment and you are relying on one person for everything, there is no one other than the children to notice anything less than ideal is going on. I much preferred the idea of a variety of suitably qualified and checked childcare professionals being responsible for DD than one person who would likely be the only adult voice in all situations.

My DD did not settle well but has come on leaps and bounds. I don't think she'd be anywhere near as confident as she is if she had gone to a childminder. It's very difficult to make a decision but unless I knew a childminder personally I don't think I'd be up for it myself.

It really depends on the nursery or on the childminder

Saying that you dont chat and build bonds with staff at a nursery is unfair, if thats your experience fair enough but that is definitley not the case generally speaking

My experience of working in nurseries is bad behaviour often doesn’t happen in isolated situations, it’s pushes the boundaries and spreads between staff. They will protect each other.
Its fine to prefer a nursery over a childminder but don’t be ignorant of the risks of institutionalised bullying of children.
Nurseries and childminders should both be vetted by ofsted, you won’t be picking a random individual off the street.

@WeWereInParis nope.

Not in the nurseries near me, my Dad's nursery and the nursery my friends' children went to.

My son goes to a lovely married couple of childminders and they have several under 5s so it's a small but social setting. I never liked the look of nurseries. High staff turnover, impersonal, inflexible and so expensive!

I went back to work just after DD turned one and chose a childminder, who turned out to be excellent. DD liked the home-from-home setting and I believe that having one consistent carer made the transition easier for her.

DD enjoyed baby and toddler groups, but they tired her out quickly, so I didn’t think she’d want to spend a whole day at a nursery. The childminder was the best of both worlds, because she’d take the children to baby and toddler groups, then they’d go back to the peace and quiet of her house.

The main downside was that the setting closed when the childminder was ill, when her child had an infectious illness, when she went on holiday or had to attend a funeral etc. Luckily, I had family who could act as a back up.

Also, when DD was older (three or four), she seemed to need time at a bigger setting, with plenty of children her own age.

Perfectly normal to me, we had a fingerprint system at DD’s nursery too and could come in at any time.

Thank you for all your responses. A lot to think about. Feeling very overwhelmed at the moment but just wanted to acknowledge all your replies, I really appreciate it.

I knew I didn't want to use a childminder for multiple reasons- some practical bit most just things in my head. DD1 was v sociable and loved nursery. DD2 is insanely shy and hated it for the first month but has settled and now loves it. She's still shy in new situations but I do believe nursery was right for us both long term even though short term it was not x