Should I speak to my 10-month-old in English?

[Wagapapa]

Hi everyone!

I have a ten month old baby who I always talk to in English. However, I am a native French and Arabic speaker.
My DH's mother tongue, on the other hand, is English.
I would like to introduce him to French and Arabic but am unsure as to how I should go about it.
I don't want to confuse him or create any potential speech delays.
Plus, my husband doesn't understand either languages and, since I'm with DS most of the day, I'm afraid my baby won't pick up English as fast (or not fully until he starts going to nursery anyways) and won't be able to communicate with my husband properly.

Am I overthinking it? Should I just stick to English for now, should I solely speak to him in French?

Speak in your own language. It won't confuse them. This is how they become bilingual. They will thank you for it.

Speak to him in French or Arabic. It's an amazing gift you can give him to be bi/trilingual.

Speak in French or Arabic. This will be a huge life skill for him to have and is also a protection against Alzheimer’s in later life.

Bilingual children are slightly behind in each language at the start (I think - because they have more words to learn) but they quickly catch up.

For now I’d choose either French or Arabic and speak to him in that language when you’re at home on your own. Then when his Dad is around or you’re out, speak on English. I think I’d wait until speech is established before introducing a third language.

That's an amazing idea
thank you

Thank you all for your advice!

What languages do your parents speak? If they speak French/Aarbic, then I'd speak that to the baby. I'm an English speaker, living in an English-speaking country, so I speak English to my daughter, but my ex is Italian and uses Italian exclusively with her. We had an Italian nanny for the first few years too. When our daughter started speaking, she used a mix of English and Italian words, but by the time she was three, she pretty much just talks in English, although she can understand Italian perfectly well.
In short, this is the very best time to start your baby speaking more languages, and I don't think you need to worry about language delays.

Definitely speak to him in French. He will be fine with English, especially as his education will be in English, and as others have said, bilingualism will be a gift to him. Learn from my friend - her Italian DH refused to speak Italian to their children as he was worried they wouldn’t understand him, and so now neither child can speak to their grandparents in Calabria who speak no English.
It’s easier if you stick to one single language rather than switching from French to Arabic to English.

A friends child is being raised bilingual - mother speaks her native language and father speaks English - it's worked out very well.

Pros:

• fluent in two languages by the age of 5

Cons - short term only:

• a slight delay in grasping each language as quickly as a child who only had to learn one language

• in the early days of learning to talk, there was a preference for the mothers native language as she was the primary caregiver and this could occasionally lead to issues for other caregivers (e.g. father or someone like me), who don't speak the language! This was very short lived, though and we just muddled through. It could be viewed as an opportunity for your DH to start learning the basics...

A number of years ago I did a paper on use of native British language in education system such as Gaelic. I still remember a lot of the research indicated that long term it was good for language development. In the early years parts of the brain are used for acquiring language that switch off as the child grows. In children that are learning more than one language this part of the brain stays more active for longer, so that they are more easily able to learn additional languages later.

This! Speak to them in all languages, it won't confuse them and be grateful for them. Very lucky child 🙂

This.

Your little one won't be confused.
It will be a wonderful gift you your little one to emerge them in 2, or even better 3 languages before they start school.

My dgd is bilingual. We speak to her in English mostly and she goes to school and socialises in Spanish. She has a wonderful vocabulary in both languages

This is the best option I’ve seen done.

sometimes bi/tri lingual children can take a bit longer to speak, but it will be hugely beneficial for them in future and they’ll certainly thank you for it.

English when dad is home. Either French or Arabic at home alone (probably whichever is likely to be used the most/where you’re likely to visit the most).

is there a grandparent/other relative around who can speak the third language to baby? If not, maybe have an activity a few times a week where you exclusively speak the third language just during that time?

Definitely speak in your own language to your child! This is a widely studied phenomenon and it does not/not/not confuse them, it only makes them even more open to learning new languages in the future. It's a huge gift to your child.

We have trilingual kids. The OPOL (one parent one language) works well. No speech or language delays either for ours. But you can't switch. Whichever you choose of Arabic or French always use that. Don't switch to English when DH is there because that gives the impression that your language is less important, which often ends up with the child understanding it but refusing to speak it and replying in English.

As for Arabic or French, choose the one your family (parents and siblings) speak the most so when you are with them DS can participate. If it's Arabic then I'd also keep an eye out for learning materials for young kids in it so he can learn the alphabet and associate the sounds with letters like in English. For French that's less important as he'll learn the Latin script at school and see if all around him. I have friends whose kids Arabic outside that parent's home country and this is what they've done for years. After school TV was Arabic dvds (now you tube for kids) with the Atabic speaking parent around.

Anyway key thing is ding switch your language when talking to DS, unless it's something specifically involving DH. DH will actually pick things up in your language anyway if you do this, so he won't be as excluded as you think!

I agree with everyone else. Being bi/trilingual is fantastic and not enough of us have a second language, and certainly not a third!

As a parent of three bi/tri-lingual kids (English, Azerbaijani, Russian), I agree with everyone above - go for it. Don't worry about the slight delay in speaking, it's maybe 6 months and more than compensated when they are able to speak two or three languages and switch between them with ease.

It's important to be absolutely consistent, your DP speaks English only, even if he can speak French, and you speak French only even though you can also speak English. The problem with this is how do you squeeze the Arabic in. Is there a grandparent who they can see regularly and can speak Arabic only? If not I think I'd stick with English and French because with two languages under their belt they will pick up the third much easier later.

One longer term issue is that once they start school they will be taught almost exclusively in one language (presumably English) and that will develop faster to a higher level as they will be reading and writing in multiple subjects, not just as language lessons. What I've found with my kids is that they can speak fluently but are not at all confident in writing in their second language, and both speak and read/write less well again in their third language. So I think (with hindsight) that I'd get the reading and writing going at home as quickly as possible, perhaps try to run in parallel to what the school is teaching in English.

Definitely do OPOL.

I've many friends from France/Brazil who only speak to their kids in French/Portuguese, and their English-speaking husbands speak to the children in English.

I also have a Spanish friend who met her Lebanese husband while studying in Germany. They're now married with a child. The child speaks 4 languages fluently - family language is German, mum speaks in Spanish, dad speaks in Arabic, and the child goes to an English-speaking school!

There's evidence that bi or tri lingual kids not only learn subsequent languages quicker but they also learn in general more easily. It's a gift!

OPOL - one parent one language.

You will maybe get a slight speech delay. But the e benefits are incredible. If I picked one, it would be Arabic, because in the UK French is taught and Arabic is such an addition.

Why would you have a gift you could give your child and choose not to? I'm properly bilingual and almost tri- and it's been so useful.

Speech and Language Therapist here. Speak to your children in your first language. All the evidence suggests that being bi/trilingual is good for a child's overall language development, even for children with a language disorder. They'll soon pick up English from other people / school.

It's really important for your little one to hear the sounds from the languages so he can make them himself as he gets older. I'd have one day French and then the next Arabic, then when dad is around only English. It might appear to delay his speech a little at first compared to others as he will be processing so much more - but it's only a short term thing and then he'll be trilingual, how amazing is that!

This is the best thing to do - my mother tongue is different to my husbands' and this is what I have found to work.

My DD is 18 months old now, most of the words she can say are in my language and some of my husband's language, however she seems to understand both about the same amount.

Your baby won't be confused! Before long he'll actually notice that different languages are being spoken here. A lot of bi/trilingual kids are even able to interpret conversation by around age 5 or sooner. Keep going!

I would start with Arabic because I think it's much harder to learn than French.