Cost of childcare stopping us having a second child

[Mummysparrow]

My daughter is 20 months old and we were thinking of trying for number 2 later this year but after working out the cost of childcare if we have another, my husband has changed his mind and doesn't want another. Part of me is happy with 1 but I would like her to have a sibling.
We only qualify for tax free childcare so after this deduction I currently pay £700 to £900 a month so this would be what I would have to pay for the next child. My daughter will get her 30 free hours next October but I will still have to pay approx £300 a month after these free hours. My main worry is the holidays when you don't get free hours and therefore will end up paying double for childcare which will leave me with just enough to pay some of my bills but not much more.
Has the cost of childcare put you off and did you still have another child?
I am nearly 34 so I don't want to wait until she is at school to try for another as I don't want to be a older parent for a number of reasons, for example my pregnancy will already be high risk and don't want the extra risks for being over 35.

My son gets his 30 free hours in September of this year and starts school September 2025. I'm currently pregnant and due in October this year. If you wait to conceive until around 2 and a half it could work as there won't be any crossover while you're on maternity leave and you could still have your first child in childcare for a few hours a week if you want to. But you can't guarantee you'll fall pregnant right away of course. I also had a loss in December.

My eldest is only 5 but top set for reading, every school report is glowing- hasn’t seemingly lagged behind.
I personally have never understood the love of September born babies- I’ve known many 4year olds bored senseless in their last nursery year.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers yeah I'm September and always did well but, in hindsight so did my June-born sister.

I think it's just her starting school when she's just turned 4 that I worry about (she's only 18 months at the no) but my 3.5 year old is probably almost ready for school now so I should stress less!

I know some people manage the nursery years by taking out a loan to spread the cost over a longer period, not something I'd like to do but another option to consider.

IMO, having a child just so your first can have a sibling isn't enough of a reason. They aren't born just to be company for the first and you have no guarantee they would even want to play together. I never played with my little brother.

Someone once said on here to look at it like this - when you have another child, you are directly taking away resource from the first, whether that be time, money or opportunities.

If you have enough to share, then go ahead. You are still young - I would start thinking about trying to get pregnant the year before DC starts reception.

I have a 3.3 year old and baby 2 is due in June when DS is 3.6.

This way we will have had 6 months of reduced nursery fees (now DS gets 30 free hours) so we have put some money away from that. But also when I go back to work after baby 2, there will only be 6 months of 2 nursery bills before DS starts school so the money we're saving now will cover DS's £300 for 6 months (so £1800) and then we will have 1 standard nursery bill for the baby.

I totally get where you're coming from. We had this difficult decision as well. And then there's pressure of wondering how long it'll take to conceive etc.
It's hard when you don't have family to help (like me!) it feels like other people have a lot more disposable income than you, money for holidays etc.

@GoodChat

My youngest was 4 and 4 days when she started school. She’s honestly not had any issues at all. Her best friend is an October baby and you wouldn’t know the difference.

My oldest was fine starting school but was different in that she seemed younger than her Sept/Oct/Nov born peers but that was only a very short term thing and by year 1 you wouldn’t have been able to tell.

I’m 31st Aug and have always been an academic high achiever. I’m a doctor now.

My advice would be to not worry yourself unnecessarily. :-) Hard when you have whole topics about people delaying their August born starting reception. I’d not do much ‘research’ and wait until yours starts.

Everyone I know has timed a second for when their first gets free hours or is at school. If you’re genuinely happy with one then that’s great, otherwise I’d wait a bit longer

@BernadetteIsMySister that’s really good advice- thank you!!

Thank you so much! It's so good to read other peoples real life experiences!

I have 2 children with a 3 year gap and it is expensive until they both start school but we both stagger days/hours and compress so my partner does 3 days in the week and a Saturday and I do 4 days in the week so we only only ever have to pay for 2 days a week wraparound or all day childcare in the holidays - if we couldn't do that it would just be impossible

We also went for an almost 4 year age gap so we didn't have to pay two lots of full time childcare. Started TTCing the month before eldest turned 3 and their sibling arrived a month after they turned 4. Eldest remained at nursery for a few months before they started school and we were able to use the money saved from eldest's previous nursery fees as a buffer for when the youngest started nursery.