Au pairs, those of you who have employed au pairs. Can you give me some advice?

[NKF]

I have a hellish three months or so of working comign up and my current live out nanny is leaving. I was thinking of maybe an au pair becuase I will have to leave early in the morning.

BUT I'm worried that we don't have enough space and that she will expect her own annexe and en suite etc.

What do you offer your au pairs and what do they expect?

I don't think they would expect their own annex! Just their own bedroom and possibly own bathroom (or one shared with the children) too.

Ours has bedroom, own shower room, £65 per week and a monthly travel pass. No annexe here although to be fair we see so little of him.

Our has own bedroom, and shares bathroom with DS3 aged 5 so doesn't spend a lot of time in it (!) She also has DVD player, TV with Freeview, uses the WIFI network, an Oyster card for the London travel network, £100 a week and I top up her phone by £10 a month.

I've known some APs to have a tiny attic room and be perfectly happy. Be prepared for the extra work though, it is different to a Nanny, like having an extra daughter that you have to show around.

Ours has her own bedroom and shares a bathroom with the children. It is a strain having someone in your home all the time, mind. We have a big house but our au pair goes out so little that she is almost always here. I second MrsRecycle that it's like having a second daughter you have to show around. The first few weeks were full of stuff like helping her to get a bank account, NI number, join the library, visit some local attractions and it's hard not to feel pushed into giving up your w/e just to take her places. I'm trying to be firm, though, as we have a perfectly good bus service almost on the doorstep. And you may find that "no dietary considerations" and "excellent health" isn't really true etc etc.

I was about to start a thread on wages so I'll come back to this thread as perhaps we can ask both questions on one thread NKF? I pay our au pair £60 for 20 hours a week. I'd like to know what others pay as I'm looking for another au pair (for when A goes home) and I think I might be paying too much, especially when you take into account the extra food bills. I thought we ate well but there seems to be a need for several (substantial) snack times each day on top!

Thanks everyone. I'm not sure that it will work for us so I'm looking into alternatives.

Good luck with whatever option you go for, NKF.

Ours is in a small (9ft x 9ft)) room. We all share the same bathroom. She has TV/DVD and hi-fi in her room but use of the computer downstairs. I'm totally upfront about this at the start as we aren't a bottomless pit of money which I think some au pairs think. My interview questions also include favourite foods, things they don't eat etc and to be honest it's one of my most important questions! She has use of a PAYG mobile but she's responsible for putting money on it. I paid for her young persons travel card but she pays her rail fares. I give her £60 per week (rural Kent) and will occasionally buy her "snacks" which normally amounts to the odd tub of pringles or nutella so I really can't complain! But they really are like an older daughter and need hand holding at the beginning if you want to get the best from the relationship.

Are you Weegle?...Me too! Where abouts? I'm near Tenterden

It's the hand holding I can't do right now. Work is just too full on and I need to feel sure that the home front is covered. So I'm paying through the nose (argh!) for a part time nanny and will look for an au pair from September when I will have time to settle her in. I realised that I don't need an older daughte right now.

Our Au-pair has been with us 2 weeks and it is working out well. She has her own large bedroom with a sink, tv/freeview, and shares the family bathroom with the rest of us. We provided her with a mobile phone, but it up to her to top it up. And mirroring what loveIngles2 says I think she appreciates that we don't have a bottomless pit of money. She pays for her own travel, she eats all our food and eats with us every night. We pay her £60 a week for outer London and approx 20-30 unsocialable hours a week (both shift workers).

It has been hard adjusting to have someone living with us but it has taken a huge amount of stress out of our lives not jugglng childcare and the early starts and late finishes, so worth it

She comes from a large family with younger siblings so really knows what she's doing and is taking time out from Studying.

NKF - what about looking for a more experienced ap. Yes, you might have to pay a bit more, but it would be less than a nanny.

We have a standard 3-bed semi. Our ap has the smallest room (double bed, wardrobe, dressing table, book case, TV), and shares the family bathroom.

She hasn't needed much handholding at all, but this is in a large part due to the fact that I introduced her to the ap across the road, and they really hit it off. The other ap took her to the language school, and she's made lots of friends.

I've read in other threads lately that ap's have lots of hidden expenses. I really don't think it costs us that much above the pocket money. She eats what we do, I don't buy much extra for her (nutella is about it), I'm a SAHM, so the elec/gas bills aren't much different.

I think I'll go for an au pair in September when I have a little more time and can feel more relaxed about things. Long term, it will be the answer for us.