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Move with Baby

4 replies

marthamead · 21/02/2023 10:16

When I was pregnant ex and I had discussed moving further south. Mostly for work and my wish to complete my degree, better opportunities, be a family etc. I have social housing and something like 12 years right to buy. Ex has always lived with his parents. I tested the waters while I was pregnant and found quite a few others wishing to exchange homes. So a move is very likely possible. We are the Midlands.

The relationship broke down shortly after dd was born. I exclusively bf for 7 months so assumed bulk care and he never lived with us so meant 24/7 me pretty much. His whole personality changed when dd was born and he's taken advantage of my emotional state (me doing everything) ever since. He had 2-3hr access on Saturdays for a few months between 7-9m. That was me trying but that broke down too as it was at my home and the environment became hostile.

Past 3 months, he's seen dd 3 times. He completed MIAM in secret and we are now waiting for the first hearing. He is requesting every other weekend. Dd has some specific care needs (asthma/eczema) and is still breastfeed. I am contesting overnights for now but feel I will be unsuccessful after reading more and more about it. Ex is a passive-aggressive, mind-game player.

Ex says he no longer has any desire to move and he will stop me from moving with dd. I would still like to move and would like some input on what might happen if I move and advise him after.

I will still make whatever effort is required for dd to have a relationship with him as I tried to before but I want to move on and not feel trapped. I am currently overcrowded with another family member. Baby is 13 months. Is there anything specific he could use again me? He is very bitter.

Thoughts, please?

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 21/02/2023 12:34

What's the travel time from where you are to where you want to move to?

marthamead · 21/02/2023 13:21

125 miles. 2h 30m give or take.

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 21/02/2023 17:41

I don't know the legalities if you're likely to be allowed or not but just be aware that if you do move it will you that be expected to do the travelling back and forth. So if it's every other weekend it will be 5 hours on a Friday dropping off and travelling home then 5 hours on a Sunday picking up and travelling home.
Is he named on the birth certificate?

marthamead · 22/02/2023 07:28

I drive and I will travel. I’m sick of the hold he has on me. He has no concern over my well-being or how it affects my full time caring of dd. It has been that way since she was 2 months old. 24/7 just me no one knows what that feels like unless they do it. Dd is first and last baby. He works full time and says I am responsible for all childcare costs if I decide to work. I am stuck on UC in an overcrowded house with a partial degree I can’t use. He is on the birth certificate because he lied of the life we were going to have as a family in the beginning.

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