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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Do you take a child with a bad cough?

24 replies

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 12:39

I have a child who I care for part time alongside my own child and my older child when he's not at school.
This child seems to constantly have one minor thing or another and I have always taken him but now he's got a really chesty cough which seems to be really lingering. The parents don't give him any medicines,no immunisations etc, which obviously is their personal choice, but obviously I can't give him anything either.
It does particularly bother me with my own child, as at 1 yr, they keep picking each others cups up etc. Would it be unreasonable not to have him because of a cough? I have always had him other times when he's ill but I don't want the parents to think I'll just take him no matter how ill he is. Any opinions would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 06/12/2004 12:42

IMO if he's ill, he should be at home. Do you have anything written in your contract with them about sickness?

bakedpotatohoho · 06/12/2004 12:52

i'm coming at this from a different angle, as someone who has a child in nannyshare.
how ill is he? if he has a temperature, his parents should look after him. but IMO you can't really refuse to look after a child with a cough -- esp at this time of year, when every child you meet is coughing and has been for the last month. (however, a nasty streaming cold is a slightly different matter, temperature or no temp. personally i wouldn't inflict a vv coldy/sneezy/snotty DD on our nannyshare.)
are you allowed to give calpol/tixylix or anything like that? how annoying if not.

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 12:57

If they have a high temp or the first 2/3 days of antibiotics then NO....I had a problem with this last week...(on 'How ill is too ill?'thread)

Good luck

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 12:59

No, I've got an NCMA contract and I don't think it covers sickness, I'll have to pull it out and have a look, I think there's just a payment for sickness part. I'm also feeling that he shouldn't be with me when ill, I just find it quite hard to be assertive with some parents, I know it's silly, maybe because I haven't been doing this long. I think some parents think you'd rather have an ill child and have the money coming in than not work, I don't know.

OP posts:

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 13:02

Yes, BakedPotatoHoHo, I don't get annoyed, I mean I know it's their choice not to give medicines but surely there's something, homeopathic or something I could give, yes,his nose is constantly streaming and his cough is on his chest. I feel like he's like this most of the time, maybe I'm just getting more annoyed with the constant coughing!

OP posts:

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 13:02

I used the 'I really think Childx will benefit from being at homewith you rather than in a noisy, chaotic and busy C/Mer's house....remember s/he will be exposed to lots of other bugs and I WILL have to take him out to collect eldest from school'

That way it seems that you are doing the best for the child...which you are

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 13:03

I meant to say I do get annoyed, should have previewed!

OP posts:

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 13:05

Yes - but that annoyance is due to the feeling that this child should be being cuddled by Mum ....not you - don't you think?

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 13:10

When you try and tell some parents you can't take their child they get really defensive, as though it's a personal insult or something, I always find myself backing down and agreeing when really I should stick to my guns.
I mean if they chose not to give any medicines then obviously the child is going to spend a lot more time ill, the father tried to say to me the other day that medicines serve no purpose, but my baby had a cough last week and it was gone within days because I made sure she had regular Tixylix,Medised etc.
I mean I wouldn't send my son into school coughing and ill, for his sake and also for the sake of the other children, but I think with childminders some parents (not all) seem to think that because we provide care in a home setting we will take children no matter what

OP posts:

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 13:12

There is a bit in the NCMA manual (I think) about taking (or not taking)ill children...I'll see if I can find it

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 13:12

There is a bit in the NCMA manual (I think) about taking (or not taking)ill children...I'll see if I can find it

KatieMaChristmas · 06/12/2004 13:16

Don't know what happened....I didn't post twice honest

JJ · 06/12/2004 13:39

My son is at school today with a chesty cough and is coughing loads. But this is after discussion with his teacher; she convinced me to let him stay at school. I was prepared to take him home. He has asthma and had a cold a couple of weeks ago - he'll have this cough (he's not sick at the moment) in some form until the end of winter. He's always been like this. Just something I have to say: he can't help coughing. It's not fun for him. If his childcarer got annoyed about it, that'd be the end of the relationship for me.

Of course, it doesn't mean the child isn't sick. If he's coughing up coloured phlem, then he's sick, although antibiotics don't necessarily help (neither does a cough suppressant - the junk will just stay in there until he coughs it out).

jabberwocky · 06/12/2004 13:42

I would be concerned about a bad cough in an unimmunized child since (at least in the US) pertussis is making a comeback. I think you are completely within your rights not to take him when he is ill. Most places don't (at least, where we live, can't comment about the UK).

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 13:49

JJ, I am not getting annoyed with the child, I am annoyed at the fact that he has been had this cough for ages and it has just been allowed to go on and on. I feel that when a child is ill they need to be at home. He is obviously ill, hence runny nose etc, and does not have asthma, so it is a completely different situation.

OP posts:

KateandtheElves · 06/12/2004 13:59

This doesn't help in your particular circumstance right now Em, but when my daughter had a child minder she wouldn't take her unless she had all her immunisations. (She had to have a form from the doctor.)

Am I correct in assuming that the parents haven't taken the child to the doctor? You are right to be annoyed and concerned. Can you suggest that the child be seen by the doctor? Maybe tell the parents that you're concerned about his cough and until he gets an OK from the doctor that you don't want him in your home?

lisalisa · 06/12/2004 14:06

Em, just hav to comment on the tixylix calpol bit . These medicines do not cure coughs or colds - they only alleviate ( some would say suppress) symptoms - the child's recovery is not related to dispensing these medicines but dependant on its immune system to fight the bugs. That your child recovers quickly means that his/her immune system is functioning well

I don't think you can really link the fact that the parents don't give medicines or immunisations to the fact that this child always ghas a cough or runny nose. There are no medications to cure such childhood complaints unless they reuslt from more serious cases ( like pertussis for example as mentioned by JJ although one would hope to god its not that) and the parents would presumably visit doctors and give appropraite treatment should they suspect something really wrong.

I sympathis with this "natural " approach . There are however things that can be given within this natural framework as you rightly pointed out with homeopathy. When my childrne are ill I give them sambucol straight away which is an immune stimulant - a better known one is echineacea, proven to shorten coughs and colds and vitamin C which is always useful. Youcould try asking the parents if they would consider this or anthing else within that framework to try and shake off the bugs.

As to working with a sick child, if he is coughing a lot and its very phelgmy and he has a temp I think you would be well within your rights to refuse to take him.

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 14:10

Hi Kate, thanks for your support. I didn't check about immunisations when I first took him, as at 1 he and my own (youngest) child are not due MMR yet anyway, I know I should have checked, but anyway, it was only when mum returned the forms to me that I saw no immunisations ticked. I just felt, after already having started having him, and with everything else,in terms of hours etc being right that I would continue to take him. I'll feel alot better probably after my baby has had the MMR in the next couple of months. At least then I know she's protected from some of the awful ones.
No, he hasn't seen a doctor, I think you are right, when they collect him this evening I will tell them I can't take him with his cough at this level, and that I think he should see a doctor.
Does anyone know of any alternative remedies I could suggest? I don't think anyone could object to a simple cough linctus could they? (or maybe they could!)
I'm thinking that I won't take another child without any immunisations again. Does anyone think having had none this would make him more susceptible (probably spelt that wrong!) to colds/coughs etc?

OP posts:

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 14:12

Hi lisalisa, thanks very much for those alternative suggestions, I will mention those to them later

OP posts:

KateandtheElves · 06/12/2004 14:13

I don't believe that having no immunisations would make him more vulnerable to simple coughs and colds, but obviously he would be more at risk for diseases like pertussis.

nailpolish · 06/12/2004 14:16

as a mum who has a dd at at childminder i would accept my childminders thoughts and suggestions with gratitude. these parents are away at work all day and you are seeing the severity of the childs illness so they should listen to you. you obviously have experience too, being a cm! cant add any advice but just wanted to have my say.

wrapmefestively · 06/12/2004 14:32

Em, forgive me but I don't think you have really answered bakedpotatohoho's question earlier about whether he has high temp etc (the etc being is he miserable and grizzly and off his food..and so on?)I think your answers to this would get to the crux of the matter.

I have a dd who has a permanent cough and cold, with a very icky runny nose but she doesn't have a temperature, runs around and plays normally, and eats normally. I therefore expect her Day Nursery to take her. However, if she was under the weather and needing comfort from me, and / or had a fever then clearly she should stay at home.

Original poster

Em1828 · 06/12/2004 14:42

No, at the moment he doesn't have a temperature although there have been times before when he has had, and it's only at the end of the day that the parents tell me that he had had one the night before!
But he is very grizzly and generally under the weather. I am giving him lots of cuddles but he really does want his mum and has done the last few times I've had him. He found his coat earlier and was holding onto it for dear life, trying to put it on to go home.
I'm going to have a word with them this evening and tell them I'm happy to have him back Weds (don't have him tomorrow) if his cough improves over the course of tomorrow, don't know what the chances of that are, but hopefully they will see a doctor.

OP posts:

wrapmefestively · 06/12/2004 14:50

I think in that case if he is grizzly and wants his mum then yes he should be with his mum! ...and quite honestly I don't know how she can leave her child when he is miserable....

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