At a loss with childcare

[dadindiapers]

Dad with no family support and three little ones 2,3,5. On a decent wage so not eligible for 30h childcare and cannot work from home all week. Really struggling to find any suitable childcare options. Spoken with the school (and parents) and the council and advertised locally to see if someone would do a drop-off and two pick-ups. No luck so far. Getting desperate I might have to quit a job I love and look for something that pays enough (mortgage and whatnot) to work from home.
OPen to any ideas please

We used a daily nanny but it took half of both our full time wages even a good few years ago in the first few years because of the state requiring you to pay the nanny's wages, employer NI, employee NI and tax (and these days auto enrolment employee and employer portions as nannies are quoted a net wage) It might cost you in London £60k a year. Might be £40k to £50k out of London. We had 3 under 4 at one stage and both always have worked full time.
Inner London full time good day nursery full time is abohut £22k per baby, slightly less for older one.
Au pair is not legal as they help but do not do solo all day childcare.

Is there a mother in the picture? If so she has a legal obligation to pay towards her children.

it is high time the state allowed full deduction of all childcare costs against tax particularly as income tax is so high.

It sucks. I recommend relocating out of the UK while your children are primary age if you can. Take a look at the Middle East because school fees and housing are normally included, while childcare and housekeeping is cheap. Singapore is another good option.

I'd look at moving to a school with either wraparound or childminders that collect. Childminder for younger two.

Just some advice. Nannies typically don’t like if they have to do drop-off and pick up but the gap between these two is not paid/or not filled out with something to do. You can try and fill out this gap and pay for it so it will attract a lot of candidates.
Also, three children under the age of 6 sounds a bit too much for 1 person, though it depends on the person. You might find someone who likes looking after little ones and doesn’t mind.

Monoprix, wouldn’t the nanny be caring for the 2 and 3 year old then?

Why would a professional nanny find three kids too many..? Especially when one is in school. Lots of nannies care for 3 DC or more.

As I said not all of them do.

I wouldn't expect any experienced nanny to balk for a second at 3 DC. It's their job. Three preschoolers is bread and butter; two preschoolers and a school age child is totally straightforward.

Have always had 3 in my nanny roles (most families switch to a nanny at 3 for cost reasons). An Ofsted registered nanny would be perfect for you as can accept any childcare vouchers if you get them. Can arrive before you leave and do breakfast getting ready. Bath them and ready for bed too. It's not too much it's what we do!

Where have you advertised?

Nanny share is not a bad idea, but the OP has 3 children already. So you either find a family with only one child who doesn't like the inequity and concerns of care where the nanny has more children from one family to manage, and anything more that one extra child will be a lot for a nanny to manage (I know, I am one and have done shares).

One child being at school doesn't really make a difference, there are at least 13 weeks of holiday, lots of sick days and all of the afternoons when they'd be managing all of the children.

Nanny is the way to go. Possibly with own child to reduce costs

where in the se are you ?

Have a look on childcare choices website, that may help you to find financial support and see whether you can get tax free childcare or UC.
Registered childminders and nannies will both be eligible to claim back support with costs and be more than capable of caring for 3 children, I’m not sure about nanny ratios but childminders can have 6 under 8’s at any one time, plus older ones.

@user432900976 Why the emoji? Anyone making £110-150k a year is bringing home about £60-75k. How on earth can they afford a nanny which costs £50-60k a year?!?

The reality is that the tax code is not equitable. I stayed away from the UK with young children because living in the NYC area because my income covered childcare. If I had lived in the UK I would have stopped working because I didn’t make enough to cover the childcare bill and today I would be so much worse off.

Go to the Middle East or Asia and you will find you can earn a heck of a lot more on a net basis and costs for essentials such as housing and childcare are a fraction of what they are in the UK. This is what Liz Truss was trying to address, which she was right to do, but got the timing wrong and I wasn’t all together comfortable with the fact childcare wasn’t addressed directly. Rishi has quashed the reform to childcare rules which would have relaxed the care ratios, thus reducing the cost of nursery and wrap around care at school.

Lack of childcare is a critical problem when you are a single parent because you don’t have the other parent as a back up. I know, I’m living it and to ensure I can work, I have one au pair and a nanny. Not cheap but if I can’t get to work it all comes crashing down very quickly. It’s not a stealth boast either. I have 3 kids in one bedroom to make it work financially. Childcare is a top need.

Most childminders would take 3 under 5 and and another 3 under 8 it's no problem at all. Many families have 3 under 6 ...strange comment

We had 5 in a nanny share - 3 from one family and 2 from the other. We split costs proportionally. My experienced nanny managed them all well and was well paid for her troubles. It worked great.

If you earn just over £100k, your best bet is to find a way to earn less than that to get the 30hrs - either more into pension as others have said or drop to 4 days a week if your employer would agree which also reduces your childcare bill. (or 4.5 days compressed into 4 if you can)

A nanny would have a 2 year old all day in between surely?

Would you be willing to have a live in Nanny?

Accomodation in the SE is so expensive if renting.

Offering accomodation in your house would surely reduce the cost of a nanny for you significantly?

No it is not a strange comment. I know a family with three similarly aged children where there’s a nanny for the two smallest and a part-time one for the oldest. The parents say all three kids would be too much for just one nanny. In another family the mum spends time with the youngest (now 4)) while she is a stay at home mum and there’s a nanny who looks after the two older ones. She couldn’t cope alone.

Or when children go to different institutions, such as one goes to nursery and the two older ones go to two different schools, how do you manage it by yourself?

With respect they are not your usual parents. ..I do nursery then school 1 10 mins to get to school 2 and come home with 6. In school holidays I'll have an under 1, 2 under 5 and 3 up to 10 we go on trips, do craft activities, play games, build dens do pond dipping ...your friends need to get a grip or have so much money they can afford to waste it.

Our nanny had 3 under 3 although when the oldest turned 3 our nanny did take her to a morning Montessori nursery school for 3 hours so for those 3 hours in term time the nanny had 2 children not 3 in the mornings.

However as people say above in London your nanny might cost £50k to £60 k once you pay employers' NI, employee NI, tax and employer and employee auto enrolment pension so unless the poster can force the children's mother to pay half it may not be easy to afford as net £100k pay is £67k. Going abroad sounds a feasible option if the other parent won't contribute or trying to find a job with childcare might help. One of us basically worked at a loss in the early days with a daily nanny but was worth it to preserve careers that would last for 40 years from which our children still benefit but in our case the big difference was two parents both working full time and weekend work done too for extra money where needed.

Given the OP’s posts, Xenia, I would assume that the children’s mother is not around at all, whether abroad, ill or no longer with us.

My advice would be possibly looking for a part time job, it sounds like you have a lot of stress with it all. And you might feel better off for it. Not sure if this would be possible for the job you’re in, but this would be what I’d do. Good luck!